The Farewell

Shuzhen Zhao's hospital report says she has terminal cancer. She has perhaps four months to live. They don't tell her. Instead, the family rushes the marriage of Awkafina's cousin so that they can gather with one one last time, without letting her know anything is wrong.

It's been many years since a good friend insisted I look at Ang Lee's THE WEDDING BANQUET and EAT DRINK MAN WOMAN one after the other. When they were done, he said "Well?" and I said "They're so Jewish!" With his comedies of manners about an emigrant culture that sustains itself willy-nilly, rejected by and rejecting the mainstream, both groups are similar in their reliance on family and the dinner table as a means of staying together. Writer-director Lulu Wang's movie is of a piece with these two, with some very entertaining performances, and insight into what family means to people who are forced to be apart.

A beautiful portrayal of a long farewell and an insight into the difference between western an eastern culture. Powerful performances through and well worth a watch.

Lulu Wang's story of an independent Chinese-American woman returning to China when her beloved grandmother is diagnosed with terminal cancer, is nothing less but captivating. From the very first shot inside a hospital, the director invites you to tag along with this Chinese family, while they struggle to keep the truth from grandma and decide to stage a wedding, just to see her one last time.

Billi (Awkwafina), a twenty-something millennial, lives her life like most New Yorkers do - barely able to pay rent and on the lookout for a new job, she still goes home to mom and dad to do her laundry, knowing well enough she'll have to endure the parental comments while under the same roof. When her mother (Diana Lin) announces the imminent wedding of Billi's cousin, she realises something isn't right. Pressured by Billi's suspicion, her parents quickly confess to the terminal state her grandma Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen) is in. Shocked by the news, it doesn't take long before they all end up around the dinner table at Nai Nai back in China, faking their true feelings around the clock.

Wang knows how to direct this tragically heartfelt story in a way not only Chinese families can relate. I, for one, could definitely look back at how my family used to keep secrets from certain relatives, just to "protect" them. Billi's family has problems of their own, with underlying tensions waiting to rise to the surface, and no one is holding back.

Anna Franquesa Solano's cinematography is a beauty. Most of the time, it's as if you're walking through an art gallery - strolling past one lifelike portrait after another. Truly exquisite is the way she captures the feelings of each individual. The vulnerability and sadness in their eyes, conflict with the constant "joie-de-vivre" the old Nai Nai still has going for her.

Everyone knows how good Awkwafina is at comedy, but who knew she'd be able to peel off every layer of that mask, to get to the core of her vulnerable emotions? She and Shuzhen are two peas in a pod, when it comes to giving groundbreaking performances. Shuzhen touches you in a way you can't imagine. An old lady with a big heart and a big mouth, keeping traditions alive while holding her own family together. The gloominess of her diagnosis lingers like a storm, which transcends into a mostly ominous score by Alex Weston.

With The Farewell, A24 can add another classic to their collection, which will go down in the history books as a turning point for Awkwafina and Lulu Wang's careers. A tragically beautiful story that makes you homesick and wants you to hold on to what we sometimes take for granted. Coming home has never felt more therapeutic.

Billi Wang (Akwafina) is a young aspiring writer in New York whose family had immigrated from China when she was six years old. She maintains a happy telephone relationship with her paternal grandmother, Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen) who still lives in China in the city of Changchun. Billi's family has received news from another relative that Nai Nai is dying of lung cancer. The extended families travel to Changchun to celebrate the wedding of Billi's cousin although the collective intention is really to say goodbye to Nai Nai - while withholding the news from her that she is dying.

Throughout the film - and especially by the end, it is very clear that is biographical and based on the experiences of the film's talented writer/director Lulu Wang. The story is rich for various reasons including its unique take on the universal theme of dealing with the impending death of a beloved elderly relative.

Billi is also a stand-in for many "new world" North Americans who would find it terribly wrong to withhold from anyone the fact that they are dying. Her points are well expressed but so are the contradictory replies from her elders and those more in line with a Chinese cultural tradition of such secrecy. The reply to the question "who's right" is answered in Nai Nai's laid-back, content demeanour (when not coughing), totally oblivious to her diagnosis. This is one of the fascinating surprises of "The Farewell" in its acquiescence to old-world values in subtle ways. Here, Wang must be given credit for her humility. She seems to have nodded to a sarcastic quote attributed to Oscar Wilde: "I am not young enough to know everything".

The main story is powerful enough; yet Wang adds to the wealth by delving into the immigration experience - for those who left their homeland as well as those left behind. Here again, she takes on a universal theme. In conversations and monologues, the viewer hears what it is like to lose all of one's children (two sons in this case) as they leave the homeland (Nai Nai's other son emigrated to Japan). Billi also has a powerful monologue of what it was like to leave behind an extended family and community when she was six. While intelligently avoiding platitudes, the film asks: is there really a 'better life' somewhere else?

The fine cast does justice to Wang's eloquent story. Awkwafina fits well in the lead role and Zhao's Nai Nai is so loveable that she makes it very easy to see why so many would grieve her impending death. One particular scene stands out even though it is brief: Billi's mother (Diana Lin) quietly avoiding eye contact in a taxi while fighting back tears. In less than a minute, Lin conveys an experience of every adult at least once in our lives. - dbamateurcritic

RATING: 9 out of 10

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT: Screenplay by Lulu Wang

'The Farewell (2019)' is proudly based on an actual lie, one told (and apparently maintained to this day) by director Wang's own family. It's perhaps no wonder, then, that the film feels so thoroughly realistic, despite its somewhat outlandish central conceit. It's, essentially, a slice-of-life drama concerning a worldly Chinese family's attempts to grieve in secret, focusing specifically on Chinese-American Billi as she tries her best to conflate her 'westernised' ideas with her family's 'eastern' wishes. This theme is delicately explored and its conclusions are wonderfully accepting, but it sits firmly as the backdrop for the sometimes strained, yet always loving, family dynamics on display. Everything just seems so grounded, with relationships that feel so lifelike you could almost swear they were real. This makes the experience subtle yet stirring. Often, it mirrors everyday life all too closely. The piece isn't always riveting, or ever conventionally exciting, but it's always enjoyable and often emotionally resonant. By its end, it's hard not to have been moved. In fact, you may not realise just how much it has touched you until just before its credits roll. 7/10