Andy Samberg: Jake Peralta

Ticking Clocks

Jake Peralta

Hitchcock: Look at this bread. It's completely inedible. There's not even any soft parts in the middle we can pull out.
Jake Peralta: Title of your sex tape?

Captain Ray Holt: Peralta, Santiago, you'll be happy to know that I did not erase the server.
Jake Peralta: Oh, thank God.
Captain Ray Holt: But sad to know that Knox caught on and is now holding me at gunpoint.
Jake Peralta: Why not lead with that?

Jake Peralta: We finally got all the Lambda Nus back into holding.
Amy Santiago: Who are the Lambda Nus? Doesn't matter. I'll read your notes later.
Jake Peralta: I didn't take any notes.
Amy Santiago: What the hell, Jake? Do you even love me?

Jocelyn Pryce: Look, I love being with you, but how often am I actually with you?
Rosa Diaz: We're together every night.
Jocelyn Pryce: Unless you're at work, or doing work, or thinking about work. It's like you never have time for me.
Jake Peralta: I'm sorry, but Rosa doesn't have time for you. We have a really important work thing. That was bad. Let me try rephrasing it. You are not as important as Rosa's job. Oh, wow. That was way worse.

Jake Peralta: A countdown clock, green text on a black background: we are in full-on action-movie mode. Now all I need is my no-nonsense captain to tell me to focus, because time is running out.
Captain Ray Holt: Peralta.
Jake Peralta: Yes?
Captain Ray Holt: You have something in your teeth. It's, uh, quite off-putting.
Jake Peralta: What? No. "Time is running out." I fed you your line. No one ever has something in their teeth in a movie. Watch a movie, stupid Holt.

Sergeant Knox: The NYPD servers have internal backup batteries. Even if we unplug them, they'll stay on for another two hours.
Captain Ray Holt: As a captain, I have an override code I can use to wipe the servers clean so there'd be no information for the hackers to steal, but there's one problem, Jake.
Jake Peralta: Yes, sir?
Captain Ray Holt: You still have something in your teeth. You tried to get rid of it, but it's made it much more prominent.
Jake Peralta: Why would you stop everything just to tell me that?
Captain Ray Holt: It's very distracting.

Amy Santiago: Hey, who's that guy from Cyber?
Jake Peralta: Sergeant Knox. We've been talking computers all day. Pretty technical stuff. I kept up.

Jake Peralta: [Reading Captain Holt's text message] "How certain are you? Sincerely, Raymond Holt."
[Replies with text message]
Jake Peralta: "100 percent, sincerely-" Why am I doing that part? Send.

Jake Peralta: Why aren't you guys on your way to the airport?
Jocelyn Pryce: Oh, I'm gonna miss my flight, but it's worth it. It means a lot that Rosa bailed on all this just for me.
Jake Peralta: Aww.
Captain Ray Holt: You did what, Diaz?
Jake Peralta: Now, sir, I told her it was okay. If you're gonna be mad at anyone, be mad at me.
Captain Ray Holt: Okay, I am mad at you.
Jake Peralta: What? No. I didn't think you were really gonna be mad. That backfired. Be mad at Rosa.

Captain Ray Holt: Let's mobilize. Nobody in or out of the building without authorization. Check every inch of every floor. And, Jake.
Jake Peralta: Oh, let me guess. It's on another tooth now. Is it somehow on my face?
Captain Ray Holt: No, what I was going to say is, we only have 15 minutes left. You need to focus, because time is running out.
Jake Peralta: Oh, yeah. That's what the F I'm talking about. Thank you, sir.