Ben B. Singer credited as playing...
Wiz
- Wiz: Their rivalry is legendary, their fame unmatched. This battle has gone on for nearly three decades, but today it finally comes to an end.
- Boomstick: Mario, Nintendo's whimsical Italian turtle crusher.
- Wiz: And Sonic the Hedgehog, Sega's specialist of speed.
- Boomstick: Time to find out if Sega really does what Ninten-don't.
- Wiz: For this bout, we'll be using the same rules that Death Battle has had for the past three years. Most importantly, the original video games will be our primary source for analysis.
- Wiz: Plumber, carpenter, doctor. Mario has worn many hats throughout his life, but he always does so as a hero.
- Boomstick: Except for that time he tortured an animal, but no one really talks about that.
- Wiz: Born as one of the Seven Star Children possessing an extraordinary amount of power...
- Boomstick: ...and extra horrible crying fits...
- Wiz: Mario was assuredly destined for greatness.
- Boomstick: Then him and his little bro Luigi wound up in New Donk City, where he spent his days throwing shit at monkeys and, uh... fixing toilets. Not exactly the great heroic destiny I was expecting, but hey, at least his girlfriend was smoking.
- Wiz: But everything changed after a chance meeting with Princess Peach Toadstool. Her Mushroom Kingdom had been conquered by Bowser, the tyrannical king of the Koopas, and her only hope of rescue lay in the hands of the Mario Brothers.
- Boomstick: And Mario had all the power he needed to take the turtle terror down. He's super tough, super quick, and really, really strong. He can jump several times his own height, smash tanks to bits with his butt, and toss Bowser around as if he's a featherweight.
- Wiz: Needless to say, the Mushroom Kingdom was in good hands.
- Boomstick: So was the princess! She even gave Mario a piece of her cake! Heh heh, if you know what I'm saying. Get in there, buddy, you deserve it... Oh, come on, it's an actual cake? That's good too, I guess.