Trevor Noah credited as playing...
Self
- Trevor Noah: You also have to learn the meanings of words that you already knew when you move to America. For instance, where I'm from there's a garment that men commonly wear under their shirts. It's white and it's sleeveless. Where I'm from, we refer to this as a "vest". Okay? I've now learned, in American, it is known as a "wife beater". -Yeah... I have so many questions.
- Trevor Noah: That's a fascinating story for two reasons. One, it reminds you that there are a lot of good people, white people, out there. A lot of the time I get angry at white people, and then I'm like, "No, no, there are good ones. Calm down." The second part of it that was amazing was that they convinced black people to get back on boats. That's one of the most amazing stories I've ever read."
- Trevor Noah: I think there should be a rule in America that says you can hate immigrants all you want, but if you do, you don't get to eat their food. That's a fair exchange for me. If you hate immigrants, no immigrant food. No Mexican food, no Caribbean food, no Dominican food, no Asian food, nothing. Only potatoes. I'm not even saying flavored potatoes. Just plain potatoes, no spice. Because, no immigrants, no spice. Don't ever forget that. Both figuratively and literally, no spice.
- Trevor Noah: For me, Donald Trump is an emotional paradox. I'm not gonna lie. Logically, I can process him. Emotionally, I struggle. On the one hand, I wake up many days terrified at the notion that he's president of the most powerful nation in the world. But I also must admit that I wake up many days knowing he's going to make me laugh. There's terror and there's joy, and I don't know how to feel. It feels like there's a giant asteroid headed toward the earth, but it's shaped like a penis. Like, I think I'm gonna die, but I know I'm gonna laugh.
- Trevor Noah: I was walking through the streets of Chicago, minding my own business. Some guy drove by in a pickup truck and called me the n-word. And I'm not going to lie. I was disappointed. Mostly because he was driving a pickup truck. Yeah, I just feel like that was an unnecessary stereotype that he didn't need to perpetuate. You know... I feel like if you're going to be racist, do something different. Think outside the box. Drive a Prius. -
- [laughter]
- Trevor Noah: -Yeah. It's better for the environment and it's quiet. You can sneak up on me. We both win.