Brad Jones credited as playing...
Cinema Snob
- Cinema Snob: Eh, you're white. This is just some good, old fashioned bad joshing.
- Judge: So as payment for your crime, you will open the doors of your home to those less fortunate than you, and serve them as friend, workmate and teacher.
- Cinema Snob: Fuck you.
- Salem: But he ain't no criminal. Will is... well, he's a proper homeboy.
- Cinema Snob: Kirk Cameron being called a homeboy is like a slice of Wonder bread being called a Caramello.
- Agent Jack Daniels: Ed, the prints on Salem's file don't match anyone else's.
- Edwina: Violet wouldn't lie.
- Cinema Snob: Fuck all of you.
- Cinema Snob: Will lives with his adoptive father and his sister, Violet, who... er, I think is foreshadowing to us what kind of performance we're gonna get here.
- Violet: [speaking like someone who is mimicking mental illness] I fuh-got to tell you somefing. I ate *two* *whole* pieces of Will's birfday cake.
- Cinema Snob: [awkwardly] Ohhhhhhhh noooooooooo. Huh huh huh she's going full Ghost of Christmas Present.