Deathcember

The problem with anthologies is that naturally you'll get some better than others. Some had cool concepts that would have been better if they got a bit more time for you to get into them. Others were painfully bad.

The overall production value seemed decent enough too, it wasn't amazing. But I've seen much worse, and it was more polished than an amateur effort.

I did enjoy the animation inbetween to tie them together. But I think it might have been better to maybe have 12 days of Christmas, rather than 24, and let the best of ideas get explored more.

I like anthology horror. I like holiday horror. Many anthology movies suffer from being either too short if they're good or too boring if they're long. 26 very short horror stories, some are genuinely entertaining, some are just "good-bad" enough to laugh at... These stories are much shorter than usual in the genre, which manages makes it all bearable. The good stories are artistically efficient and whimsical with some fun twists and turns. The not-so-good stories are mercifully quick to get through.

26 international horror stories that are short and sweet... Not a bad a deal. Pick and choose. Enjoy. It's literally like a box of chocolates.

Well, I didn't really know what I was in for when I sat down to watch the 2019 movie titled "Deathcember". But I sat down to watch it and gave it a chance.

First of all, it should be said that "Deathcember" is 24 short segments based more or less around a Christmas theme, some more than others. And while that was interesting enough in concept, it didn't really translate all that well to the screen for many of the segments.

I managed to sit through 17 segments, before I just gave up. I was by no means entertained by what transpired on the screen. Sure, some segments were better than others, but the overall feel to this was not one of overly enjoyment. There simply were just way too many bland or pointless segments that were dragging the ones that were interesting down.

In "Deathcember" you will find segments of all manners, types and contents. And I am sure that there is even a segment that will offend people in the audience, the one with the claymation - or whatever it is called. I found it to be funny, but the contents of that segment can so very easily offend a lot of people.

Something that was impressive about "Deathcember", though, was the fact that they actually had segments spanning wide and far across the continents, so there is a chance that there might just be something suitable for you among the 24 segments.

At one point I thought I briefly saw Barbara Crampton in a segment, but I thought it was just someone looking a lot like her. But it was actually her, and I was really surprised that she showed up in something like "Deathcember". I had to check here on IMDb to see if it was her or not.

"Deathcember" is hardly a horror anthology classic in the likes of "Creepshow" or "Tales from the Crypt". Nor was it something that I will ever be attempting to sit through again, nor even return to watch the few remaining segments.

My rating of "Deathcember" lands on a more than generous three out of ten stars.

⭐ "Deathcember" (2019) - The Drunk Uncle of Holiday Horror

Deathcember is a cinematic advent calendar that invites twenty-four directors from eighteen countries to celebrate Christmas the only way horror knows how-by losing its mind. The result is chaotic, visceral, and occasionally brilliant, but just as often incoherent and off-theme.

A handful of the shorts are genuinely great-clever, creative, and striking in how much they accomplish in just a few minutes. Most are okay, strange little curiosities that feel like dark postcards from different corners of the world. And then there's the rest: short bursts of gore, misery, and confusion that seem to exist purely for shock value. A fair number of them don't even pretend to have anything to do with Christmas or December.

Still, I can't help but respect the ambition. The diversity of countries and voices gives it an unpredictable energy-part film festival, part fever dream. It's messy, yes, but also fearless in a way that's hard not to admire.

Then again, some entries push so far past "unsettling" that they land squarely in "what the hell were they thinking?" territory. There's one short in particular that should've never made the cut-it's not edgy, it's just repulsive.

The film thanks The ABCs of Death in the credits, and that's fitting: Deathcember feels like its seasonal drunk uncle. It shows up to the family holiday gathering, throws up in the punch bowl, and sits on grandma's lap dog. You'll roll your eyes, maybe gag a little, but you'll also admit-deep down-it was kind of entertaining to watch it happen.

Verdict: A deranged, international Christmas experiment that's as fascinating as it is frustrating. Equal parts brilliance and nonsense, wrapped in blood-stained tinsel.

Acknowledging "Deathcember's" low-budget background, I still thought it's going to be a somewhat of a hit with me. Its closest relative, "The ABC's of Death" franchise, although always a violently shaken mixed bag, has been quite fine by me. And I love seasonal horror movies very much. However, "DeathCember" ultimately had a little more charcoal than gifts.

24 short films from 24 directors internationally, all horror, all tied to Christmas one way or another, smaller or bigger. A present wrapped in a rather enormous runtime of 2 hours and 25 minutes. A couple known directors include Lucky McKee ("May", "The Woman"), Polyanna McIntosh ("Darlin'"), Ruggero Deodato ("Cannibal Holocaust") and Julian Richards ("The Last Horror Movie"). The rest I had never heard of before. A few familiar faces from the horror world glimpse through too, including Barbara Crampton, Matt Mercer and AJ Bowen.

It really is a very mixed bag, and unfortunately for the pacing, to me it felt like it used up most of its big, flashy fireworks before halfway through. Out of the 24, there were about 6 that I'd say I liked and really enjoyed, 10 more sliding up and down on the line between "alright" and "mehh", and the rest were simply misses for me. There was at least one short that had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, winter, or any element of this season. But, there is gore, there is violence, there is sci-fi, there is silent cinema, a western, criminal schemes, cannibals, killer deer, all kinds of mischievous ghouls and, of course, santas. And more. There is fun to be had, if you keep in mind that, on many levels, a lot of them are hard not to describe as cheap.

I'm quite sure I'll never re-watch it, but I'm glad I watched it, because it would torture me further sitting on the watchlist. Anthologies always win me. If you are a true seasonal horror maniac and brave, too, then check this out. It's on Amazon Prime. My rating: 4/10.