Troy Baker credited as playing...
Batman • Joker
- Commissioner Gordon: Ninjas. As if we didn't have enough problems in this city.
- Batman: Commissioner Gordon.
- [Gordon Turns and sees Batman]
- Batman: What have you got for me?
- Commissioner Gordon: It's Arkham. Alarms went off an hour ago, but when...
- [Sees the Turtles]
- Commissioner Gordon: What are those?
- Michelangelo: Teenagers.
- Donatello: Mutants.
- Raphael: Ninjas.
- Leonardo: Turtles.
- Commissioner Gordon: Just think about your retirement. Some place where the turtles don't talk and clowns are funny.
- Batman: It's okay, Jim, they're friends. Arkham.
- Commissioner Gordon: Right. When my people tried to move in, they were attacked by ninjas. Like the ones that have been knocking over laboratories.
- Leonardo: Shredder!
- Commissioner Gordon: We've got the perimeter locked down, but we have to assume there are hostages inside. Guards, doctors, nurses. I need you to...
- [Sees the roof is empty]
- Commissioner Gordon: Sure, leave before I finish. That never gets old.
- Michelangelo: I'm still here.
- Commissioner Gordon: AAAAAA!
- Joker: Attention, inmates of Arkham. Joker here and I'm pleased to announce you have a new warden, me. And I've got a brand-new medication regimen for you.
- Joker: Oh, nurse.
- Harley Quinn: [Harley glares] Mmmph.
- Joker: Ahem. Nurse Harley Quinn?
- Harley Quinn: Hmmmph!
- Joker: Oh fine. Doctor Harley Quinn.
- Harley Quinn: You damn straight. Eight years of college, and a three-year residency and he says "nurse".
- Shredder: [Knocks away Batman's explosive capsules] No tricks!
- [Slices off Batman's utility belt]
- Shredder: No gadgets!
- [Slashes Batman in the chest, knocking him back]
- Shredder: I promised you would die if you stood in my way.
- [Kicks Batman into a wall]
- Shredder: You are no match for me! Now, I will take control of the League of Assassins, harness the power of the Lazarus Pits, and the Foot Clan will rule for a thousand years!
- [Extends his spikes for a final blow]
- Shredder: Any last words?
- Batman: ...Cowabunga!
- Shredder: What? "Cowabunga"?
- [Raphael flies by Shredder, his shell striking his face shield, shattering it]
- Raphael: Boom! In your dumb face, Shred-head!
- Batman: [Seeing that the Batmobile is trapped] Michelangelo, press some buttons.
- Michelangelo: [about to explode with joy] I'M GONNA HIT ALL OF THEM!
- Batgirl: And then they were gone. It all happened so fast. And I didn't have time to, you know, Batgirl up. Those things, they were like lizard men or something. They took the generator. In the wrong hands, it could blow up a city block. We have to stop them, Batman.
- Batman: Whatever they are, they're going to regret stepping foot in Gotham.
- Batman: I'm still recovering from whatever Shredder did to me. I've never seen an attack like that.
- Leonardo: It must've been the Sato Oshi strike. It's a powerful ninja technique that dates back hundreds of years. Said to be created by the founders of the Foot Clan. It focuses all the body's energy into a single blow and can prove as fatal to its wielder as it is to the opponent. Because of that, it's been lost to history. Only two living ninja masters know how to utilize it's full power. My father Splinter and The Shredder.
- Batman: Good to know. Shredder may have ancient ninja moves, but I've still got a utility belt.
- Alfred: [dragging Michelangeo down to the Batcave and confiscating the skateboard] And furthermore, I am keeping the skateboard until you learn not to use it in the house.
- Michelangelo: Dude, no.
- Alfred: Calling me, "dude" is not helping your case, young master Michelangelo.
- Michelangelo: Come on, old Master Alfred.
- Alfred: Oh, that's not how that works.
- Michelangelo: [presenting the pizza boxes in his hand] Look what I got.
- Alfred: Ahem, would the young masters care for some napkins?
- Michelangelo: What for?
- [the turtles gobble down the pizza, and Alfred sighs in disgust]