meddlecore

The Creeps is a Finnish Christmas horror film that is essentially a combination of American Pie and Gremlins, with a little Fade To Black thrown in.

Albeit the worst of all those worlds.

It's target demographic seems to be 12-13 year olds, because it's too childish for anyone older, and too graphic for anyone younger.

Despite a plethora of references to the 80s and 90s.

The Creeps are kind of cool, when they aren't CGI...I'll give it that.

But, otherwise, the whole thing is pretty dumb.

Too dumb for my particular taste.

It does have some fleeting moments of cool gore.

But definitely needed more to win me over.

If you are pubescing teenager, it might be worth a watch.

But I'd say for everyone else it's a pass.

If only because there are a handful of much better Scandanavian Christmas horror films you could opt for.

3.5 out of 10.

Adult Swim's Yule Log is proving itself to be one of- if not THE- best Christmas horror franchises out there (move over Silent Night, Deadly Night?).

In this (the second) installation, we find ourselves following Zoe- one of the few survivors from the first film- as she tries to navigate life, living with the PTSD that she acquired from her last Christmas experience.

Thinking she has been cursed, she goes about her daily business with her comfort ax in hand.

Out of fear the murderous log might return to finish off what it failed to do the first time around: kill her.

To ameliorate this, her friend suggests that she go to Mexico for Christmas, this time around.

But her travel plans are cut short when they crash in the small town of Mistletoe: home of the annual Yule Log festival.

Which is unfortunate for the town...because this Hallmark village is about to get a real taste of late night horror.

Despite the fact that Santa attempts to send the demon log back from whence it came (presumably, Hell).

The whole thing starts off with a gory bang...before going into full Hallmark mode, to the point that you ALMOST forget you are watching a horror film.

But don't let that turn you away...because you aren't going to want to miss what they have in store for you (and I'm not talking about cheesey Christmas ornaments)...

Because this turns into a full blown Christmas killfest...of some of the most loathesome individuals imaginable.

Sure, it's not as heavy hitting...or, well...good as the original.

But it's still a pretty fun sequel.

Even though most of the blood guts and gore are rendered with CGI.

I guess we'll have to see if the new Silent Night Deadly Night has enough going for it to restore the crown to that storied Christmas franchise.

Because for the time being Yule Log reigns supreme.

5.5 out of 10.

This film is impressively creepy.

It features characters that are puppets...but puppets that are life-sized, anatomically exaggerated, and seemingly brought to life by a human actor.

By which I mean...it looks like they are actually wearable puppet costumes.

Think, like a cheap AI robot, designed to interact with humans.

Artificial enough that you are aware...but real enough to make it creepy.

The filmmakers, here, really have done a good job at messing with human psychology.

Because the aesthetics alone are enough to make you uneasy.

Before even taking the plot into consideration.

We find ourselves following and down-and-out deadbeat named Les Hackett.

He lives with his mom, and was recently dumped by his girlfriend.

Only to find out he has been subject to a mysterious surgery- in which a bomb has been implanted on the back of his neck- against his will.

He finds out about this when his best friend's head gets blown off.

After which- whoever is behind this- starts to contact him...with instructions to kill random people.

And if he doesn't heed them...he will be subject to the same fate.

The instructions he receives soon puts him in contact with others in a similar position.

As they are put through a series of Kafkaesque trials, often in competition with one another.

For a, seemingly, regular guy...he is generally unbothered by the ultraviolent actions he is being forced to take.

Eventually, he is drawn into a situation where he is confronted by the police...who seek to get an admission out of him.

But he intuitively denies any wrongdoing.

And goes about his business...trying to survive this deadly game, in which you must kill or be killed.

And it only gets weirder from there.

In the end, it ends up being, more-or-less, a combination of three equally weird stories: (the book) The Third Policeman; and (the French film) Carre Blanc; with the twist from (the film) Mysterious Skin.

Making it especially alluring if you are drawn towards films that are extremely bizarre, and all-around ultraviolent.

I found myself leaving the experience wondering why this film didn't get more hype.

Because it's definitely among the top tier of horror films released in 2023.

At the very least...it's a cult classic waiting to happen.

So don't pass this one up.

Just get ready to get weird...and go with it.

7.5 out of 10.