GodofGSXR1977

I am so sick of the watered down rehashed reboot remake reshuffle cash in nonsense where they just go through the motions like toddlers as if we haven't seen this all before. What's maddening is they keep pretending the audience is supposed to have their minds blown to see the same greatest hits played over and over again with the most clumsy and cliche tropes peppered on as if it's anything new. Somewhere in Hollywood they've completely failed to focus on actual story, genuine human connection, or substance, and that's supposed to be the interesting part of these deep sci-fi topics that explore such things. This is so pathetic and embarrassing. Only good thing is some good performances and occasionally cool visuals but HOW IS THAT an accomplishment. It's so obnoxious this watered down tripe just hoping to suck more money out of people since it's referencing a beloved franchise. People need to demand more and stop fooling themselves into thinking this is even remotely acceptable as filmmaking. -- PS. Even as I write this stupid review on this site there's ads in the way where I can barely even submit because CORPORATIONS NEED ME TO BUY MORE. You all may as well be Weyland-Utani. I'm on the side of the Xeno now too at least they don't try to sell me half baked nonsense.

There is something so off about the weird look of these movies in the last several years, especially the big budget ones that should look so much better. So many "outdoor" scenes are not only obviously on a sound stage, but are so claustrophobic and weird, almost uncanny valley or blurry, I can't explain exactly but it's all so poorly done that it takes you out of what little story there is. I'm all for fun silly movies but it's absurd how little thought they put into production with this much money and talent, even the acting feels so throwaway and lazy, they should be ashamed. Where's the magic?

1 star is for the often fun / interesting moments and ambitious attempt of making an entire movie about a shoe deal. I also think many actors are doing their best, despite the writing.

The problem with this movie is the problem with many of the big budget movies pumped out like a cookie-cutter pop machine:

IT'S ALL REFERENCES IT'S ALL REHASHES OF NOSTALGIA IT'S ALL HINDSIGHT IS 20-20 WINKS & NODS IT'S ALL FORMULA COPIES OVER AN OCEAN OF FORMULA COPIES

WE HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE: WE KNOW HOW IT ENDS, WE DON'T NEED TO WATCH THIS.

We get it, it's a movie, overly dramatic and intensified bending of truth is expected, fine. But with all these huge stars, producers, writers, and resources, it all feels so contrived and meaningless. Vapid, empty, forgettable. These filmmakers and writers seem so obsessed with safe greatest hits content they forget that people are complex and interesting enough to be interested in more than just *DUN DUN DUN* = WE CALL IT AIR JORDAN or *DUN DUN DUN* "Jordan won't amount to anything" -- HAHA WINK WINK RIGHT FOLKS?

It's ponderous, cheap, lazy, and a missed opportunity to do something new. And the sad thing is, most critics/people reading this probably think it IS new. They keep building an ocean of rehashes, reboots, remakes, and copies, and I cannot imagine this type of cheap crowd pleasing stage play versions of real life is going to have the staying power of stories (even if rehashed) that challenge our imaginations or do anything different than the status quo.

Jordan was and is amazing, I'd watch a movie about his shoes or success or skincare routine if someone would write an interesting version of it- THIS AIN'T IT.

They're getting away with highway robbery for subpar nonsense when they could be making the next timeless classic. And they will never stop because no one wants to take chances- LIKE THEY POINT OUT IN THIS MOVIE.

Please find new writers or pay indie folks to try something new, thanks Hollywood who is definitely absorbing these words from a rando online.