TheDancingPanda-692-744536

Even writing this review fresh as the credits are still rolling I'm having trouble remembering a single thing that happened in context of why it was happening. It's been sometime since a film has had this much difficulty holding my attention and even when I put forth effort to pull myself back into the movie it still seemed to never make any real sense or progress with any sort of fluidity. At no point is it ever interesting, thrilling, or compelling. I can't put my finger on it. This film just has me feeling like.... I've witnessed a phantom. It's almost incredible that a film so adequate on a sound, cast, visual fidelity level turned out something so punishingly bland. I've flipped through other reviews to make sure I'm not alone in this and it would appear that the editing team has made massive cuts which would explain why it feels like there's (at best) massive portions of story missing.

This will be the lowest I've ever rated a film that is not legitimately terrible.There's just zero entertainment value here. If there ever was coherent narrative it was butchered behind that big fancy spooky house

2/10

*bonus points* I don't feel that the acting was sub par, but I did feel like the direction was either off or lost in the editing. On more than one occasion all characters seemed to be speaking very arch, but I'm pretty sure nobody was a bad guy? Ugh. This freaking movie. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE!?

Paul blart 2 is an experiment in horrible acting. Kevin James is a known quantity of tacky "fat man in a little jacket" (also in quotations) "comedy", but his daughter Maya played by Raini Rodriguez is an abomination. She's as terrible and talentless as her little brother via modern family fame. She delivers all of her copy and pasted dialogue with the entuasium of eating a 3 day old ham sandwich. How she got work in Hollywood outside of a seven eleven highlights how terrible this series is to the core.

It's amazing there was a sequel or that this is now techniqually a series. It's one joke. Two movies based on one joke that was NEVER even funny. Overweight mall cop on a Segway.they just keep kicking the fur off the dead horse. Again and again it's not funny. I'm worried at this rate, if they make a third film, it will be so oppositely funny, that it may make it funny. Having a credit on this film must be more embarrassing than unemployment.

The worst part is, I don't think it's as bad as the first one. Maybe it's that lack of skateboarding super crooks or the fact that the first film is one of the worst movies of all time. But a 2/10 is still twice as good as I rated the first one