malvern-879-68498
Joined Dec 2013
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Reviews45
malvern-879-68498's rating
For a "no budget" film this is better than most of the found footage and "one location, few characters" films being churned out by other indies. The story is well-paced and delivers plenty of suspense and action.
The production is a family affair. Mom is a decent director and dad does a very good job with the camera. The two daughters do a decent job delivering the serviceable dialog. There are even a few songs by the family on the soundtrack, they're well produced and if you like girly feelgood ballads you should enjoy them.
A few glaringly stupid moments stop the film in its tracks, reminding us that we're watching a movie - one written by a somewhat lazy writer. Twice one of the girls simply abandons a gun in the heat of a bigfoot attack. It immediately stops focus on the action as you ponder what in the world the writer-director was thinking.
Also, as is common in this sub-genre, the bigfoot costume is a bit cheesy, with a face that looks like it was ripped off a rubber-faced chimp doll. The director wisely chose more obscure angles through most of the beast's many appearances. But even the few fleeting glimpses of the face is enough to dispel the fantasy,
Overall it's a good little timewaster with a charm lacking in most films of its nature.
The production is a family affair. Mom is a decent director and dad does a very good job with the camera. The two daughters do a decent job delivering the serviceable dialog. There are even a few songs by the family on the soundtrack, they're well produced and if you like girly feelgood ballads you should enjoy them.
A few glaringly stupid moments stop the film in its tracks, reminding us that we're watching a movie - one written by a somewhat lazy writer. Twice one of the girls simply abandons a gun in the heat of a bigfoot attack. It immediately stops focus on the action as you ponder what in the world the writer-director was thinking.
Also, as is common in this sub-genre, the bigfoot costume is a bit cheesy, with a face that looks like it was ripped off a rubber-faced chimp doll. The director wisely chose more obscure angles through most of the beast's many appearances. But even the few fleeting glimpses of the face is enough to dispel the fantasy,
Overall it's a good little timewaster with a charm lacking in most films of its nature.
It's fitting that this film was made during The Sopranos initial run because if Chrisopher Moltesanti was real, this could be his follow-up to "Cleaver" - a slice of north Jersey culture that rivals "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" for epic B movie indulgences. Ed Wood? Fuhgettaboutit!
Why do I love this movie? Let me count the ways... First, there's more sheer entertainment in the first fifteen minutes than in the last two Jurassic Park films combined, from the entrance of the lead vampire, with a hairstyle that gives him the square-headed appearance of a squat Frankenstein monster... to the sick mom in bed, who's dressed in a nightgown and bonnet like Little Red Riding Hood's grandma in a 1930s cartoon and whose "doctor" daughter inexplicably lapses into (Pennsylvania Dutch?) German throughout the film.
But the awesome sauce is just starting to percolate. On an acting scale of 0-10 we get the full spectrum, thanks to a huge cast of amateurs with a few pros sprinkled in. There's also a fairly decent Goth garage band, a bagpiper, a pantie-sniffing lesbian couple, and a bi-sexual vampire top.
A few musical interludes are thrown in here and there with no apparent purpose other than to showcase the actors' talents as part of the deal. One headscratcher has a woman singing a Celtic ballad while two beautiful teen girls in white robes do an improvisational dance on the lawn.
Especially notable is the crucifixion scene where a Christ who resembles Sam Kinison in a diaper comes down off his cross while the two babes crucified on either side of him also come down, strip off their biblical gowns and do a hot full frontal dance, immortalizing their amazing bodies in cinematic history.
The film feels longer than its 93 minutes not because it's boring, but because the script is lush with plot points that track in a surprisingly cohesive manner, despite every scene petering out in a fade to black, as if to say "okay enough of that, move on".
NJ should be proud of director John Orrichio. IMHO he is truly a national treasure. Seriously. I am now commited to tracking down every last one of his movies and having a feast.
Why do I love this movie? Let me count the ways... First, there's more sheer entertainment in the first fifteen minutes than in the last two Jurassic Park films combined, from the entrance of the lead vampire, with a hairstyle that gives him the square-headed appearance of a squat Frankenstein monster... to the sick mom in bed, who's dressed in a nightgown and bonnet like Little Red Riding Hood's grandma in a 1930s cartoon and whose "doctor" daughter inexplicably lapses into (Pennsylvania Dutch?) German throughout the film.
But the awesome sauce is just starting to percolate. On an acting scale of 0-10 we get the full spectrum, thanks to a huge cast of amateurs with a few pros sprinkled in. There's also a fairly decent Goth garage band, a bagpiper, a pantie-sniffing lesbian couple, and a bi-sexual vampire top.
A few musical interludes are thrown in here and there with no apparent purpose other than to showcase the actors' talents as part of the deal. One headscratcher has a woman singing a Celtic ballad while two beautiful teen girls in white robes do an improvisational dance on the lawn.
Especially notable is the crucifixion scene where a Christ who resembles Sam Kinison in a diaper comes down off his cross while the two babes crucified on either side of him also come down, strip off their biblical gowns and do a hot full frontal dance, immortalizing their amazing bodies in cinematic history.
The film feels longer than its 93 minutes not because it's boring, but because the script is lush with plot points that track in a surprisingly cohesive manner, despite every scene petering out in a fade to black, as if to say "okay enough of that, move on".
NJ should be proud of director John Orrichio. IMHO he is truly a national treasure. Seriously. I am now commited to tracking down every last one of his movies and having a feast.
Every now and then a smart little caper film with intriguing twists and turns pops up out of nowhere to pleasantly surprise its audience. This is definitely NOT that film.
The story has an auspicious start, with a hook that offers promise for a real thrill ride. But it fizzles out quickly, thanks to a dumb script peopled by dumb characters.
Every single character in this movie makes the most idiotic choice in every situation. Apparently the writer-director couldn't think of clever ways to drive the story, so he opted to have them bungle whatever they were doing at every critical turn.
The main character is the biggest moron in the movie. He makes moves so dumb that his story should have ended with his painful demise halfway through the second act. The only thing that kept the story going is that the two villains opposing him are also incredibly stupid.
If you're in the mood for a stupid-fest, there's plenty to feast on here.
The story has an auspicious start, with a hook that offers promise for a real thrill ride. But it fizzles out quickly, thanks to a dumb script peopled by dumb characters.
Every single character in this movie makes the most idiotic choice in every situation. Apparently the writer-director couldn't think of clever ways to drive the story, so he opted to have them bungle whatever they were doing at every critical turn.
The main character is the biggest moron in the movie. He makes moves so dumb that his story should have ended with his painful demise halfway through the second act. The only thing that kept the story going is that the two villains opposing him are also incredibly stupid.
If you're in the mood for a stupid-fest, there's plenty to feast on here.
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