‘Two hands clap and there is a sound, but what is the sound of one hand?’          Hakuin Ekaku (1686-1769), The Rockford Files (Quickie Nirvana) (1977) “That slap was real.” Words of Ann Blyth recalling her big movie moment on the former Turner Classic network (98), the petite, pretty 16-year old co-starring in her major film debut as Veda, the daughter of Mildred Pierce who turns vicious, felling mom with a slap that must’ve sent tremors throughout the set. And Joan Crawford wouldn’t have had it any other way, a face clap as real as one could feel, she and director Michael Curtiz the consumate film professionals who believed going all-in produced the best result and both with track records to prove it. Every slap has its own personality, set of fingerprints, you might say, even as most were simulated, an artistic achievement that fooled fine and spared receivers the callomine. But when flesh met flesh, the result could be shocking. Courage wasn’t written into the players contracts but an implied term if you wanted to work, whether a big star like Joan or new kid on the block from the land of Lafayette and Le Mans. Mademoiselle Isabelle Corey (Annē) shows that wherewithal when she comes clean to Bob Le Flambeur (56) (Duchesne) after spilling the beans on an upcoming heist, getting the inverted “spanking” the Pope of Montmartre had promised her, yet, “hardly blinked an eye (Slim) (The Haves).” The Veda-Mildred slap may be the most famous in movie annals, fixed atop, now that the face clap has been replaced by the fist punch as more contemporary producers, portending advocacy, opt for overkill in mistaken belief that brazen behavior, extreme pain and humiliation will win the argument. In other words, stick it to the man and nuance be damned. But early movie makers knew better, that in verbal fights, a finessed physical expression, one properly torqued and timed, is a better persuader, working a balance between anger and discretion that in real life is less likely to trigger a greater response, i.e., fistacuffs. A perception put to the test at the 2022 Oscars. Slaps could land when the cameras were idle (Angel Face) and at Hollywood haunts and homes, most taken in stride, but when it happens on a televised award gala it makes waves. That it did at the now infamous 94th Academy Awards when a petulant aggressor (Smith), lacking the most basic judgment capability, heard his name mentioned and handled it badly, acting with impunity in strutting on stage and slapping the presenter (Rock) who’d made light of a perceived familial rivalry for that nite’s Oscar but who, rather than retaliate, took one for the team (AMPAS) so that aforementioned hell didn’t break loose. And what did the team do? They sat on their hands, of course (oy). On social impact, it is the explosive Endicott-Tibbs exchange In the Heat (67) which still stings. Veteran character actor Larry Gates plays the paternalistic plantation owner taking great offense at being questioned by a black Philadelphia homicide detective (Poitier) and unlicensed medical examiner asked to assist in a local murder case, Endicott lightly back-handing Tibbs in gesture, the cop quickly returning serve but, like Frazier in Fight of the Century (71), going “back to the country,” a slap so enraged it seems to bear the pain of 300 years in slavery and servitude. All the while, the police Chief (Steiger) looks on in shock and disbelief at what has just transpired, probably seeing his termination of employment flash before his eyes. In the humor department (yes, there are funny hand hellos), it is in Sergio Leone’s spaghetti western My Name Is Nobody (73) where his dry sense of humor is put on display when leading man Terence Hill, expert with a gun, keeps it holstered and instead uses the fastest hands in the West to slap some manners into seriously befuddled bad guy Marc Mazza. But then you can’t go wrong with any of The Three Stooges slapfests, each one replete with nose twisting (Ouch), eye poking (Ouch) and head banging (Ouch!). Some slaps never land at all, but have great impact, nonetheless. Lara Antipova (Christie) is a little bit in love and alot defensive of just discharged Dr Yuri Zhivago (Shariff), his memory getting stabbed in the back by a big mouth bolshevik (Kay), causing the furious nurse to throw him a glare with the unexpected ferocity of the fiercest face clap.  The saddest slap, contenders are many, is a series of blows endured by Faye Dunaway in Roman Polanski’s mod noir masterpiece, Chinatown (74). Evelyn Cross Mulwray has the twisted family tree, her attacker, the well-meaning but snake bitten, ex-cop turned PI, Jake Gittes (Nicholson), has gone out on a limb yet can’t figure from where the trouble grows or is leading: “She’s my daughter (slap), she’s my sister (slap) (again).” And then there is the slap seen and "heard round the world,” a planet that hadn’t suffered this much distruction (WW2) since that meteor slammed into the Yucatan (dinosaurs R.I.P.), thrown by another pretty little redhead situated across the Pond, Mrs Miniver (Garson). The British wife, mother and all-around good egg has just had her brain scrambled by a downed Nazi fly-boy (Dantine) who invaded her home (Mr M {Pidgeon} is doing his duty in a dingy at Dunkirk), her face clap landing with the meta-physical force of “6 military divisions,” recalling what Winston Churchill said of the War contribution made by this MGM film gem. It would take Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor to bring America into the fight (12.7.41),  FDR’s Lend Lease and Mrs’ passionate response playing pivtol parts in putting the Arsenal of Democracy onto the launching pad, emotionally prepared for lift-off when the call to arms could no longer be staved off by isolationists. One high-profile slap inspires the free world in their fight against fascism, another only spurs celebrity chatter to expose a security lapse at the Academy gala. Different days, indeed.

Slap Happy: How Hollywood Handled the Art of Face Clap 


There are more indelible lines in the 100+ years of movie dialogue than lights in the night sky. One clever quip won’t carry a film but where there’s one golden nugget there’s sure to be more. With a top script, a director can make what would normally constitute just so many sharp looking wait-staff & personal trainers (actors) sound like gosh-darn poets. Great dialogue can be as long as Welles “cuckoo clock” pitch (The-Third-Man) or as brief as Taylor’s modish “wow” as she peeks in on sad billiard boy Clift (A-Place-In-The-Sun). It can be sung (Umbrellas-Of-Cherbourg), whistled (To-Have-And-Have-Not), set to motion (Davis' fur coat drag in All-About-Eve), read in wink of an eye (Poitier to cell-mate Wilson In-The-Heat-Of-The-Night), an impressed eyebrow raise (Shearer on Lermontov in The-Red-Shoes), a hand gesture (puppets in Lili) and even delivered in rodent-speak (Perri). All meaning that nearly every stylized expression in a film is a statement. Some quotes listed herein are célébrité (“We’re gonna need a bigger boat" / Jaws), by itself no warrant for inclusion, others as obscure as this writer’s product. So if you like classic flicks (< 2000), the glory days for dialogue, and story over CGI or the contemporary cocktail of gratuitous sex + violence, drink in these great lines, all natural, no sugar-added and one just might “make (your) day.”

Yore Movie Swells: "We Rob Banks" & the Bonniest Lines in Film

Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway in Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

From the days of yore when a man's best gal was more than awesome, she was swell, and the evolving Western genre set the standard for TV generations and movie-goers both, some film productions went for the gold and made all of us the richer.

Alan Ladd, Jean Arthur, Brandon De Wilde, Van Heflin, Jack Palance, and Ben Johnson in Shane (1953)

It was a golden age for TV private eyes, a period outlasting the Western, running from the late 40s to about the time Magnum called it quits (88). And of all the snoopers, with their ecclectic operatives and car chases and gun play and angry cops and distressing damsels and happy endings, there was one P.I. who stood out from the rest, one like we’d never seen before or since. His name: James Scott Rockford.

An ex-con with a pardon, Jim passed on his Dad’s big-rig dream to work out of his Malibu, beachside trailer as a licensed private investigator, "good throughout the State." Created by the talented TV team of Huggins (The-Fugitive) and Cannell (Rip-Tide) who wrote most of its episodes, Rockfish charged "$200 a day, plus expenses" and sported a checkered coat when he wasn't fishing or at a ball-game. He'd an instinct for self-preservation but put life & limb on the line nearly every episode to foil the crooks and, not infrequently, bail out the brass. He saw action in Korea yet had a disdain for hand-guns, keeping his “in a cookie-jar buried in coffee grounds (salt air).” He had a code, civic spirit (juror), didn't take active police cases but would do just about anything for money "except commit murder or marry for it.”

Unlike most gumshoes, macho & dull as dry toast (Mannix cool), Jim was a real guy: he ate food ("taco king"), slept, when the cops & crooks weren’t rousting him, liked the ladies and luck (gamble), had his “share of mouth (FBI Shore),” a barely solvent bank account, top lawyer (liked Beth‘s Porsche), best car skills on the Coast (copper-mist Firebird), hippest friends from L.A.’s finest (Becker Garvey Billings McEnroe {bro Jack} Coop), to escorts (Charlie & Rita), grifters (Angel & Mark), P.I.‘s (Selleck Little Whitmore Oakland Powers), some of Hollywood’s top stars (Bacall Shigeta Cooper Strasberg Woods Hartley Hayes Fix Towers Cotten Reiner Elizondo) and best of all, had biggest of hearts. He also had the best 70s gadgets in the biz, including the world’s most famous answering machine, a new voice-mail to precede each episode. Esther (To-Protect): “Ok, so you helped me move in, but you couldn’t call, see how I was doing, maybe see if there was some painting to do (oy)?”

What helped make the Files so engaging is also what made it a TV trailblazer: diversity. Its cast often featured black (fix-it man L.J.), Asian, hispanic and senior actors, its storylines presaging coming trends in militia {The-Battle-of-Canoga-Park}, hippie backlash {Quickie-Nirvana}, psychics {The-Oracle-Wore-a-Cashmire-Suit} and gay awareness {The-Empty-Frame}, while its top staff regularly included artists of color (CF-Johnson producer / Ivan Dixon direct) and women (Juanita Bartlett writer / Meta Rosenberg producer). 

That Files (74-80), and later, the New Jersey familial mob opera, The-Sopranos (99-07), were about the only things my father and I could enjoy together, makes the show that more special to this critic (the 90s Rockford movies on CBS were a bad call). And they WERE special, two-thirds of producer David Chase's super trifecta, Northern-Exposure (90-95), the quirky-to-profound Alaskan dreamland, being his third, it’s oddball opening in moose motif and off-beat tune making it all but impossible for my father to ever take a gander, and I couldn’t blame him, even as he missed some of television's best storylines.

1) Backlash-of-the-Hunter (74) (S1 E1-2)  Jim takes a case on-the-cuff for a bikini-store proprietor whose dad's suspicious death ties to a conniving couple. Lindsay Wagner, Nita Talbot, Bill Quinn, Wm Smith, Rob Donley, Stuart Margolin, Luis Delgado, Jack Garner, Bill Mumy & Mike Lerner guest star in this 2-part pilot. 

2) Tall-Woman-In-Red-Wagon (74) (S1 E5)  A newspaper brat hires Jim to find a friend who's absconded with some hot cash.

3) The-Big-Ripoff (74) (S1 E8)  A crooked client sends Jim on a wild goose chase that eventually exposes a faked death and insurance scam. Fred Beir, Nedra Deen, Jill Clayburgh, Suzanne Sommers, Bruce Kirby, Kelly Thordson, Jenny Maybrook, Warren Vanders & Norman Burton guest star.

4) In-Pursuit-of-Carol-Thorne (74) (S1 E12)  Jimbo gets played for a mark, then matches wits with a pretty ex-con and her crew of crooks to recover some stolen cash. Robert Symonds, Bill Fletcher, James Antonio, Irene Tedrow, Sandy Ward and Lynnette "Nice-Legs" Mettey guest star.

5) The-Dexter-Crisis (74) (S1 E13)  When the goomar of a stuffy executive absconds with his $100k payoff, Jim is hired to track her down. Linda Kelsey, Tim O'Connor, Lee Purcell, Ron Soble & Joyce Jameson guest star.

6) Caledonia-Its-Worth-A-Fortune (74) (S1 E14)  Jim helps a gun-moll (Shelley Fabares) and hanger-on (Dick Schaal) hunt for buried cash.

7) Counter-Gambit (74) (S1 E19)  Rockford runs a game on a pair of nasty pearl thieves. Mary Frann, Ford Rainey, Eddie Fontaine, E. Emmitt Walsh, Garry Walberg & Burr DeBenning all guest star.

8) The-Aaron-Ironwood-School-of-Success (75) (S2 E1)  A boyhood friend makes Jim "king for a day" with contingent liabilities. Jim Hampton stars.

9) The-Real-Easy-Red-Dog (75) (S2 E7)  A local P.I. teams with Rockford to flip a suicide ruling and expose a baby ring. Stephanie Powers, Tom Atkins, Nick Ferris, Sherry "Trouble" Jackson and Bruno Kirby Sr guest star.

10) Chicken-Little-Is-a-Little-Chicken (75) (S2 E9)  "Small-time grifter" Angel (Stuart Margolin) is framed for a newspaper swindle.

11) Charlie-Harris-At-Large (75) (S1 E22)  A former cellmate turned playboy needs an alibi for a murder. Tony Musante, Diana Muldaur, David Spielberg and John Anderson guest star.

12) Four-Pound-Brick (75) (S1 E23)  Rocky hires Jim to investigate a policeman's death to Lt. Diehl's great displeasure. Edith Atwater, Noah Beery Jr. & Tom Atkins guest star.

13) Just-By-Accident (75) (S1 E24)  The suspicious automobile death of a friend's son leads our hero to insurance fraud and murder. Neva Patterson (Desk Set), Steve Keats (Death Wish), Fred Sadoff, David Spielberg, E.J. Peaker, Gordon Jump (WKRP) & Joey Aresco guest star.

14) Roundabout (75) (S1 E25)   Jim is hired to track down an insurance beneficiary who's singing for the mob. Jesse Welles, Ron Rifkin, Mills Watson, Virginia Gregg & Fran Liu guest star.

15) Gearjammers (75) (S2 E3-4)  Rocky leads a double life, unbeknownst to Jim until Dad's union activities put him in contact with mobsters who mean business. Scott Brady, Joe Santos, Bob Hoy, Al Stevenson, Terry Leonard, Pete Brocco, Ted Gehring, John Dullaghan & Rosemary 'Champagne' DeCamp star.

16) Pastoria-Prime-Pick (75) (S2 E11)  Working a skip-trace, Jim falls victim to a County extortion scheme. Gretchen Corbett, Rich Herd, Kathie Browne, Warren Kemmerling, Bill Zuckert, Don Billett & Bill Quinn guest star. 

17) The-Hammer-of-C-Block (76) (S2 E14)  A former cellmate arrives at Jim's trailer to collect on a debt, payable in P.I. services. Isaac Hayes, James Watson, Annazette Chase, Lynn Hamilton, Bill Walker & Allan Rich guest star.

18) The-No-Cut-Contract (76) (S2 E15)  A Southern Illinois semi-pro quarterback with tangled ties throws Jim a bad pass. Post-NFL Dick Butkus and pre-political-rabble-rouser Rob Reiner guest star.

19) Foul-On-the-First-Play (76) (S2 E21)  An ex-parole officer hustles Jim. Lou Gossett Jr. guest stars.

20) A-Portrait-of-Elizabeth (76) (S2 E16)  Beth's slick new boyfriend proves a fraud. Gretchen Corbett and John Saxon guest star.

21) The-Fourth-Man (76) (S3 E1)  An airline ticket clerk is stalked by a passenger with a hidden agenda. Sharon Gless, John McMartin, Jack Garner, Michael Bell & Dianne Harper guest star.

22) The-Oracle-Wore-a-Cashmere-Suit (76) (S3 E2)  A psychic makes Jim his "stalking horse" to help solve a murder. Robert Webber, James Hong, Pepe Serna, Robert Walden & Bonnie Bartlett guest star.

23) The-Family-Hour (76) (S3 E3)  Jim and Rocky take custody of a displaced little girl whose troubled father is on the run from some dirty feds. Burt Young and Kim Richards guest star.

24) Feeding-Frenzy (76) (S3 E4)  Jim's attempt to return some stolen money for a friend turns disasterous. Guest stars Susan Howard, Eddie Firestone, Luke Askew and George Wyner.

25) Coulter-City-Wildcat (76) (S3 E6)  Rocky buys government oil leases that gush with trouble. Guest stars Noble Willingham, John Anderson, Patricia Stich, Jerry Hardin and Dennis 'Big Boy' Burkley.

26) Rattlers-Class-of-63 (76) (S3 E8)  The Red Barn scam is backdrop to a quickie marriage and deadly cover-up. Guest stars Stuart Margolin, Elayne Heilveil, Avery Schreiber, James Wainwright & John Durren.

27) Return-To-The-38th-Parallel (76) (S3 E9)  A old Army buddy cons Jim into helping find some pricey stolen art. Veronica Hamel, Paul Stevens, Norman Burton & Ned Beatty guest star.

28) Piece-Work (76) (S3 E10)  A paranoid federal informant suspects Jim of muscling in. Michael Lerner guest stars.

29) There's-One-In-Every-Port (77) (S3 E12)  After being played for a mark, Rockford evens the score by running his own game. Guest stars Joan Van Ark, Howard Duff, John Dehner, Steve Landesberg, Jack Riley, Byron Morrow, Kenneth Tobey, Michael DeLano, John Mahon & Ric Mancini.

30) Sticks-&-Stones-May-Break-Your-Bones-But-Waterbury-Will-Bury-You (77) (S3 E13)  A detective agency is eliminating the competition. Paul Fix, Simon Oakland, Cleavon Little, Val Bisoglio, Jim Karen, Anthony Costello & Fritzi Burr guest star.

31) The-Becker-Connection (77) (S3 E16)  Working Narcotics for O/T, Dennis is framed for some missing heroine evidence. Joe Santos, James Luisi, Jack Carter, Jack Kelly, Stuart Margolin, William Jordan & Pat Finley guest star.

32) Just-Another-Polish-Wedding (77) (S3 17)  Gabby (Gossett), Gandy (Hayes) and Jim race to San Diego in search of an elusive heir.

33) To-Protect-And-Serve (77) (S3 E19-20)  A police groupie puts personal vice ahead of the law, moving a mob hit into scoring position. Joyce Van Patten, Leslie Charleson, Jon Cypher, Luke Andreas, George Loros, Rob Peterson, George Fisher, Luis Delgado, Lou Frizzell, Bucklind Beery & Angus Duncan guest star.

34) Dirty-Money-Black-Light (77) (S3 E22)  Winning a trip to Hawaii makes Rocky a pawn in a poorly planned money laundering scheme. John Ryan, Wes Addy, John Chappell, Roger Mosley, Joshua Bryant & Martin Kove guest star.

35) Beamers-Last-Case (77) (S4 E1)  While away from his trailer courting lady luck, Jim's identity is stolen by a bumbling P.I. wanna-be. Jack Kelly, Bibi Besch, Robert Loggia, Cal Bellini & James Whitmore Jr guest star.

36) Trouble-In-Chapter-17 (77) (S4 E2)  Marital bliss is a cover for a book promotion. Guest stars Claudette Nevins & Ed Nelson.

37) Battle-of-Canoga-Park (77) (S4 E3)  When his gun is used in a murder, Jim's investigation uncovers a militia group.

38) The-Dog-and-Pony-Show (77) (S4 E5)  In Court-ordered group therapy, Rockfish helps a woman whose paranoia has a basis in reality. Joanne Nail, Stuart Margolin, Gary Crosby, Walter Brooke, George Loros, Ed Lauter, Michael Bell, Al Ruscio, Howard Honig, Bill Quinn, Robert Lussier & Louisa Mortiz guest star. 

39) Quickie-Nirvana (77) (S4 E7)  Musicians, lawyers, gurus and flakes: Valerie Curtin, Quinn Redeker, Dick Anthony Williams, Kip Gilman & James Luisi (Lt. Chapman) guest star.

40) The-Queen-of-Peru (77) (S4 E12)  Jim's hired to negotiate the return of a stolen gem when some RV Hoosiers gum up the works. George Wyner and Ken Swofford guest star.

41) The-Attractive-Nuisance (78) (S4 E14)  Unawares, Rocky goes into the restaurant business with the FBI's Most Wanted. Victor Jory, Ken Lynch, Dick Balduzzi and Rudy Bond guest star.

42) The-Gang-At-Dons-Drive-In (78) (S4 E15)  Jim tries to get an old buddy off the booze and back into writing. Tony Zerbe guest stars. 

43) The-Paper-Palace (78) (S4 E16)  When an attempt is made on the life of a civic-minded prosty and Becker friend, Jim is hired to investigate. Rita Moreno stars in the first of 3 Files (Rosendahl / No-Fault-Affair).

44) Rosendahl-and-Gilda-Stern-Are-Dead (78) (S5 E2)  Having spent her inheritance (Paper-Palace), Rita's back on the street and in trouble, charged with murder. Rita Moreno, Abe Vigoda, Robin Gammell & Robert Loggia guest star.

45) Kill-the-Messenger (78) (S5 E5)  Stressed over an untimely family visit and Lieutenant's exam, Dennis must investigate the murder of a police Chief's wife. Joe Santos, Byron Morrow, Pat Finley & Ed Harris guest star.

46) A-Good-Clean-Bust-With-Sequel-Rights (78) (S5 E6)  A cop turned author needs a babysitter and Jim is hired to rock his cradle. Hector Elizondo, James Sikking, Louisa Mortiz, Nic Coster & James Murtaugh guest star.

47) Three-Day-Affair-With-a-Thirty-Day-Escrow (78) (S5 E7)  A gigalo who joins forces with a sleazy realtor to facilitate marriage discord, finds he's fallen for one of his subjects, a Saudi princess. Richard Romanus, Robert Alda, Maria Grimm, Gilbert Green, Andrew Masset, Richard Moll & Janis Paige guest star.

48) The-Empty-Frame (78) (S5 E8)  Political slogans provide cover for a painting heist and Jim is hired to investigate. Rich Seff, Paul Carr, Dale Robinette, Marianne Bunch, Milt Kogan, Troas Hayes & Jon Goldsmith star.

49) The-Fast-Count (78) (S5 E11)  A murder plot is sub-plot to the wrangling over a highly-rated but mis-managed boxing prospect. Mary Frann, Ken McMillan, Steven Bauer, Larry Casey & Bert Kramer guest star. 

50) The-Battle-Ax-and-the-Exploding-Cigar (79) (S5 E14)  Jim and a no-nonsense steno-pool supervisor are innocents in a government agency SNAFU. Marge Redmond, Sully Boyar, Glenn Corbett, Larry Casey & Lane Smith all guest star.

51) The-Deuce (79) (S5 E15)  A drunk driver framed for murder finds a friend on his jury in Jim. Mills Watson, Pat Hindy, Sharon Spelman, Rob Sampson, Jim Karen, Rich Kelton, Margaret Blye & Joe Maross star.

52) The-Man-Who-Saw-the-Alligators (79) (S5 E16)  Contract foiled, time served and now out of prison, Anthony-Boy seeks revenge. George Loros, Luke Andreas, Stuart Margolin, Sharon Acker, Joey Aresco, Joe Sirola, Joseph Perry, Dehl Berti, Bill Bronder, Howard Honig & Penny Stanton guest star.

53) The-Return-of-the-Black-Shadow (79) (S5 E17)  When the sister of Jim's new lawyer is attacked by a biker gang, Coop digs up his old colors and goes undercover. Paul Koslo, Dennis Burkley, Laurie Jefferson & Bo Hopkins guest star.

54) A-Different-Drummer (79) (S5 E22)  After witnessing what appears a premature organ harvest, Jim discovers the surgeon has weak credentials and a checkered past. Guest stars John Considine & Jesse Welles.

55) Paradise-Cove (79) (S6 E1)  Fortune hunters converge on 29 Cove Road in search of buried treasure. Leif Erickson, Noah Berry, Stuart Margolin, Peter Brocco and Mariette "Wham-O!" Hartley guest star.

56) Nice-Guys-Finish-Dead (79) (S6 E6)  Jim and Lance team-up to clear wannabe P.I. Freddie Beamer of an un-Convention-al murder rap (ahem). Tom Selleck, Erica Hagen, Joe Santos, Jame Luisi, Fritzi Burr, Joseph Bernard, Larry Manetti, Simon Oakland and James Whtmore Jr guest star.

57) No-Fault-Affair (79) (S6 E8)  Rita finds old habits die hard. Guest stars Rita Moreno, Jerry Douglas & Corinne Camacho.

58) The-Big-Cheese (79) (S6 E9)  A poorly addressed package from a friend (R.I.P.) proves big trouble for Jim and shy Treasury agent. Francis McCarthy, Alan Manson and comely Constance Towers guest star.

59) Just-a-Coupla-Guys (79) (S6 E11)  Two hustlers team with Rockford in the Garden State. Greg Antonacci, Gene Davis, Arch Johnson, Gilbert Green, Tony Ponzini, Lisa Donaldson, Vince Howard & Jenny Rhodes star.

60) Deadlock-In-Parma (80) (S6 E12)  A fishing trip puts Jim in the middle of a corrupt Council vote. Sandra Kerns, Hank Beckman, Jerry Hardin, Gary Grubbs, John Davey, Mike Cavanaugh, Joe Sirola & Ben Piazza guest star.

J-Turns, Checker Coats & The Rockford Files' Best

Noah Beery Jr. and James Garner in The Rockford Files (1974)

Not many movie scenes can hold you in your seat like a riveting race-chase. A staple since the Keystone Cops were on the case, road-rage is the usual format today, but trains, planes (Women-In-The-Wind), boats, chariots (Ben-Hur), horse-buggies (Friendly-Persuasion), even foot pursuit can fuel the fleet. Autos to me are like classical music, I don’t know the details but I know what I like. So on that note (♫), here then are listed the 21 best race-chase scenes in yore movie history (<2000), the Felix Mendelssohns, Antonio Vivaldis, Frédéric Chopins, Claude Debusseys, Erik Saties, Beethoven & Bachs of cinematic speed. Va-room!

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