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nzswanny's profile image

nzswanny

Joined Jul 2014
Hello! I'm the worst movie critic in the world. I love movies and I love to review them because then I can anger more people with my bad skills at writing. I don't like people very much, so I watch movies to enjoy life rather than socializing. I also have a secondary passion to troll people online so if you want to argue with

me, find my Disqus profile online.
FAVOURITE MOVIES:


1. Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

2. Lost Horizon (1937)

3. Labyrinth (1986)

4. Hulk (2003)

5. Under The Skin (2013)

6. Hour Of The Wolf (1968)

7. Six Degrees Of Separation (1993)

8. Tasher Desh (2012)

9. Vanilla Sky (2001)

10. Punch-Drunk-Love (2002)



HONORABLE MENTION: 3 Days To K1ll. Although this movie wasn’t completely and entirely a favourite and overall it may of been an 8/10, there were some really well done scenes of true sentiment in it that felt real and it had me thinking about the main character afterwards and his age-causing faults. In my opinion while the three
-quarters of the movie that was action was nice and entertaining and generally what you would expect from one, however a quarter also contained some of the most realistic and emotional scenes I’ve seen for ages. I know it’s a bit silly to think that a movie like 3 days to kill is a minor masterpiece, but it really is, so I rated it a 9/10 but everyday I keep considering on rerating it a 10/10.




FAVOURITE ACTORS:


1. Ally Sheedy

2. Rooney Mara

3. Eric Bana

4. Carrie-Anne Moss

5. Elijah Wood

6. Jack Lemmon

7. Edward Norton

8. Joseph Gordon Levitt

9. Liv Ullman

10. Daniel Kaluuya







If you don't like those movies or actors, get off my profile.




FAVOURITE FOODS/DRINKS:


Banana oats smoothie, rocky road, white chocolate and chocolate chip ice cream, nachos, white chocolate blueberry muffins, sausage rolls, peas, macaroni and cheese, pizza, stuffing, white chocolate macadamia cookies and apple walnut cake. Yes I know I have bad taste in food now - I actually hate steak.


MY RATINGS:


10 - Fully Satisfied
9 - Satisfied, But Disagreed With It’s Meaning OR Flawed Masterpiece
8 - Enjoyed, But Too Simple Or Disagreeable
7 - Entertaining without any art value
6 - Okay to watch, but flawed
5 - Didn’t Like
4 - Didn’t Like
3 - Appalling
2 - Terrible
1 - Hated Everything About It
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.

Badges8

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Ratings3.8K

nzswanny's rating
Drag Me to Hell
6.610
Drag Me to Hell
Unsane
6.410
Unsane
Happy Death Day
6.610
Happy Death Day
28 Years Later
6.710
28 Years Later
M3GAN 2.0
6.010
M3GAN 2.0
Don't Torture a Duckling
7.010
Don't Torture a Duckling
Ballerina
6.97
Ballerina
Lake Mungo
6.210
Lake Mungo
Shin Godzilla
6.810
Shin Godzilla
Bandit Queen
7.510
Bandit Queen
Sinners
7.610
Sinners
Widows
6.810
Widows
The Night of the Hunter
8.010
The Night of the Hunter
Drop
6.110
Drop
Godzilla Minus One
7.710
Godzilla Minus One
Sympathy for the Devil
5.57
Sympathy for the Devil
Titane
6.510
Titane
Asylum Blackout
5.610
Asylum Blackout
Mickey 17
6.710
Mickey 17
The Ghoul
5.610
The Ghoul
Map of the Sounds of Tokyo
5.910
Map of the Sounds of Tokyo
House
7.210
House
Man Bites Dog
7.410
Man Bites Dog
Lisa
5.910
Lisa
Sleep, My Love
6.810
Sleep, My Love

Lists28

  • Naked Lunch (1991)
    Surrealistic movies
    • 189 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Jul 12, 2019
  • Hour of the Wolf (1968)
    The Gigantic List Of Known Movies
    • 5431 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Jul 12, 2019
  • Hour of the Wolf (1968)
    Movies For Film Buffs
    • 1729 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Feb 01, 2019
  • Lillian Gish and Richard Barthelmess in Broken Blossoms (1919)
    Pre-2000s Racial Friendly Movies
    • 118 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Dec 05, 2018
See all lists

Reviews105

nzswanny's rating
Hold Your Man

Hold Your Man

6.9
10
  • Oct 18, 2018
  • A film way ahead of it's time.

    From the overempowering feminist performance from Jean Harlow to the non-conformity of the character Clark Gable plays, this is a movie that was incredibly ahead of it's time. It probably is one of the coolest movies ever made, juat because of how rebellious the shifting grounds of the film are, and is even ahead of some movies today. This isn't also the greatest entertainment but it's also a movie to make you feel for the characters and the situation they are in, and you might even shed a tear when you watch the marriage between Clark Gable and Jean Harlow. This is a movie that can be appreciated by anyone, black or white, female or male, old or young, rich or poor, that will bring you victory, accomplishment and a sneaky little piece of wonder along the way.
    Female on the Beach

    Female on the Beach

    6.4
    10
  • Oct 18, 2018
  • Not the campy movie people set it out to be

    Sure, this has many quotable one liners from Jeff Chandler and Joan Crawford, but the music and the cinematography is sweeping and melodramatic, giving the movie an atmosphere you'll never find in another movie. Sure, there are some outdated sexist elements of the movie (Jeff Chandler practically abuses Joan Crawford in some moments) but that's all outweighed by the great, powerful and feminist performance of Joan Crawford. So, I think this is a movie that can be appreciated by both misogynists and feminists alike, as it has a little something for the both of them. Besides, what fixed the sexism for me was the fact that Joan Crawford, while she ran back to him, DID actually have to think for herself about whether or not he was that good for her. It's a beautiful movie, and I would recommend it more so to melodrama fans than film noir fans, as while it is a mystery on the surface, it's a beautiful melodrama underneath.
    The Last of the Mohicans

    The Last of the Mohicans

    6.7
    10
  • Oct 18, 2018
  • A timeless masterpiece.

    This movie was probably really incredible for it's time, as it has an interracal love interest, an American Indian protagonist to support and the beautiful cinematography. The Michael Mann movie pales in comparison to this movie, as the Michael Mann movie had less substance to it and most things were on the surface and were forced, while everything in this movie is powerful,, natural and controversial for it's time. Of course, people were obviously prepared, because it was based on the book of the same name, but this movie is fantastic and will even astound those who only watch modern movies. From the opening scene to the last you are enthralled into this historic world, and this movie is both-sided on both the English and the American Indians, which is good. Overall, I'd recommend this to anyone.
    See all reviews

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