markovd111

I decided to watch "Nine Deaths of the Ninja" with my friend in hope of watching something so bad it's good. While there definitely are scenes in this movie which will make your brain hurt and make you grab your head in disbelief, a lot of the movie makes no sense at all and serves just as a background for action scenes to happen.

Speaking of action scenes, they are bad, and so is the acting. The whole thing feels like somebody wanted to make an action movie but had no idea how to write an interesting plot, characters or, in fact, anything.

As such, "Nine Deaths of the Ninja" is a relic of the past that is only for the bravest connoisseurs of the action movie genre and people who want to lose brain cells in good company. So, no, "Nine Deaths of the Ninja" is not a so-bad-it's-good movie; it's mostly just bad, and I give it 4/10 mostly because it somehow manages to resemble a movie and because it can provide some entertainment if approached with the right mindset...

"Godsend" is a technically well-made movie, there's no doubt about it. Performances are good, there is style, and the whole thing manages to interest you enough for you to pay attention and be curious how the whole thing ends.

However, the problem lies within the fact that, while the movie feels well made and there is technically nothing wrong with it, it never surpasses that notion of just being... well, satisfactory. Imagine you are eating a piece of meat. It's well cooked, it looks good, it's edible, you will keep eating it until you finish it, and it will fill you up, but it's not necessarily a good piece of meat. It lacks spices; it lacks being an above-average piece of meat for you to say to somebody: "Wow, I ate a great piece of meat!"

That's "Godsend" in a nutshell. It's a movie for a one-and-done watch, and therefore I give it 6/10, and I neither recommend it nor don't recommend it. You decide this time...

While the movie is watchable, there is hardly any reason to do so. It's not one of those "so bad it's good" cases and is instead just bad.

At best case scenario you can grab a mate and have a few laughs at the unintentional hilarity of the narrator, but other than that and a snippet of nudity at the start, there's nothing worth your time here.

There was a genuine wish to make a good movie here. It can be sensed here and there throughout. Sadly, the lack of acting and directing talent, money, and therefore time sealed the deal and brought us this atrocity. It doesn't work as a horror movie, and it sure doesn't work as something that's supposed to entertain you.

I give the movie 2/10, just for the fact that it resembles a movie and because it's watchable. Of course, I don't recommend it...