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See No Evil 2 (2014) - as campy as See No Evil 1, if not more, the sequel is yet further proof that being a successful wrestler doesn't mean that you will be a successful actor (as if Hulk Hogan's abysmal movie career wasn't testament enough).

To that end, Kane (Glenn Jacobs) is no Kane Hodder, nor he is any other kind of actor. Whoever the director is, and I don't actually care enough to google it, made a critical mistake in letting the talentless Jacobs have any speaking lines in the film. Wrestlers are perfect candidates for slashers -- they're big, they look intimidating, and brief flashes of their bulbous physique is enough to inspire fear. But to expect any kind of acting from these steroid-abusing freaks is like expecting real verse from rappers. Predictably, Jacobs is terrible as the film's boogeyman, and the backstory of his abuse-as-a-child-that-made-him-the-killerr-he-is-today is beyond trite.

There's a good way to do horror films in 2014, and there's a bad way. Then there's the WWE Studios way, which is to use the mentally challenged as directors and screen writers while trying to rip off better movies. See No Evil 2 is a fine example of why WWE Studios will never be anything more than a mediocre producer of bottom-rung dreck, on par with Asylum pictures. It's a shame, too, because wrestlers like Jacobs have a lot of potential as possible slashers -- provided they keep their mouths shut. Is it any surprise that this movie sucks as bad as it does?

The Texarkana serial killer of the 1940s was the original homicidal maniac with a burlap sack over his head, a trend we still see to this day (The Strangers being a fine example). The Town that Dreaded Sundown is more of a sequel than a remake to the 1976 film of the same name, which itself functioned as a true-story of the real-life murders that took place in the border town of Texarkana in the 1940s. Alfonso Gomez-Rejon's contemporary update is brutally violent without being especially bloody. It uses lighting effects and chase sequences to maximum effect, and the screenplay even contains a theory on the identity of the original Texarkana murderer. Above all else, The Town That Dreaded Sundown is proof that there's still a lot of energy in the slasher genre, and that it's possible to release one of these movies in the year 2014 without coming off as a plagiarist.

A group of annoying young people host a party inside of an abandoned hospital. Before long, their night of fun turns into a night of carnage as a massive, steroid-pumped and shellshocked Iraq war veteran mauls them all to death with various pieces of construction equipment. There are a few beheadings, a jock gets nailed alive to a wall, the token black dude is eviscerated with a drill bit, and a ridiculous latino gay caricature is burned alive in a church (how's that for offensive?)

Hazard Jack is a mostly formulaic slasher -- seen one, seen 'em all -- but it earns some points for seeming at least a little self-aware of its function as pornography. Its characters are so over-the-top stereotypical and the titular maniac so obscenely huge and bestial as to indicate as much.

But in the end, for a film like this, there really wasn't enough gore. Everything in the introduction -- from the deteriorating hospital setting to the brute killer's hefty arsenal of killing tools -- make you expect volumes of blood and guts, and yet the gore level is at best average. The slasher is one of the most overdone genres of film ever, and you can't sell one these days without extreme gore and suspense. Otherwise, it really feels like plagiarism.

As a devoted slasher fan, I hope Jack returns for a sequel. But when he does, I hope he's willing to paint the town red.