Hiroshi_Ocha
Joined Oct 2014
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Reviews19
Hiroshi_Ocha's rating
Oh, Monsters of War, what a cinematic masterpiece! I mean, who wouldn't want to watch a movie that combines bad acting, boring scenario, and mind-blowingly terrible CGI? It's like they took all the ingredients for a disaster and baked them into a cake of cinematic catastrophe. Bravo, filmmakers!
Let's break it down, shall we?
1. Acting Excellence -The actors in this film must have attended the prestigious "Overacting Academy." Their performances were so cringe-worthy that I couldn't help but wonder if they were secretly auditioning for a community theater production of "Hamlet."
2. Scenarios Galore - Thirteen scenarios in a dozen? Genius! Because who needs originality when you can recycle the same tired plotlines over and over again? I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for Scenario #14: "The Hero Loses Their Car Keys." Riveting stuff!
3. CGI Magic -Ah, the special effects! I'm convinced they used a potato to render those monsters. The creatures looked like rejected rejects from a '90s video game. But hey, at least they stayed true to their pixelated roots! 🎮
4. Teleprompter Extravaganza - Every scene felt like a live teleprompter reading. The actors stared blankly into the abyss, reciting lines as if they were reading the morning news. "And now, back to you, Bob, for the weather!"
5. Blackboard Dialogue - The kids, oh, the kids! They spoke as if there was an invisible blackboard in front of them. "Today's lesson - How to emote like a cardboard cutout."
6. Prime Time Disaster - Prime, oh dear Prime. How did you manage to unearth this gem? Did you draw straws in the office? "Congratulations, Tim! You get to upload 'Monsters of War'!"
7. Quality Control:m - And finally, the pièce de résistance: the "better quality." Yes, because nothing screams "quality" like a film that induces eye-rolling, facepalms, and existential dread
So, dear viewers, if you're looking for a movie that defies logic, taste, and sanity, grab your popcorn, dim the lights, and dive headfirst into the abyss that is Monsters of War It's so bad, it's well, just bad. But hey, at least it's consistent!
Let's break it down, shall we?
1. Acting Excellence -The actors in this film must have attended the prestigious "Overacting Academy." Their performances were so cringe-worthy that I couldn't help but wonder if they were secretly auditioning for a community theater production of "Hamlet."
2. Scenarios Galore - Thirteen scenarios in a dozen? Genius! Because who needs originality when you can recycle the same tired plotlines over and over again? I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for Scenario #14: "The Hero Loses Their Car Keys." Riveting stuff!
3. CGI Magic -Ah, the special effects! I'm convinced they used a potato to render those monsters. The creatures looked like rejected rejects from a '90s video game. But hey, at least they stayed true to their pixelated roots! 🎮
4. Teleprompter Extravaganza - Every scene felt like a live teleprompter reading. The actors stared blankly into the abyss, reciting lines as if they were reading the morning news. "And now, back to you, Bob, for the weather!"
5. Blackboard Dialogue - The kids, oh, the kids! They spoke as if there was an invisible blackboard in front of them. "Today's lesson - How to emote like a cardboard cutout."
6. Prime Time Disaster - Prime, oh dear Prime. How did you manage to unearth this gem? Did you draw straws in the office? "Congratulations, Tim! You get to upload 'Monsters of War'!"
7. Quality Control:m - And finally, the pièce de résistance: the "better quality." Yes, because nothing screams "quality" like a film that induces eye-rolling, facepalms, and existential dread
So, dear viewers, if you're looking for a movie that defies logic, taste, and sanity, grab your popcorn, dim the lights, and dive headfirst into the abyss that is Monsters of War It's so bad, it's well, just bad. But hey, at least it's consistent!
I was pleasantly surprised by this series that takes plave on a Scottish oilfield. It shows suspense, distrust, environmental issues. We finished the series within a week because for us it was one of those series that just draws you in. That's why I can understand people downplaying it. Possibly because it is partly related to problems we are seeing in our environment and the polarization between groups and individual people. It might be a bit long drawn in the beginning, I get that, but you are gradually emerged in what really is happening instead if the usual Hollywood shock and awe. But that, for us, is a plus.
I don't write many reviews but this series deserves it. Cast, special effects, scenery. Colors, lighting. It a feast to the eyes and at times very very graphic In it's bloody portrayals of the fights etc. It' s pretty unique and actually not be compared to the Adams Family movies.
But one thing I didn't like and does a bit of harm to it is the make up. It's sometimes way to ibvious. Looking at Morticia and the headmaster of the Nevermore Academy you see their make up and think what makeup art did that!?!?! Then again Ultra HD does show so much detail... Hoping that Season two will be coming within the next 6 months.
But one thing I didn't like and does a bit of harm to it is the make up. It's sometimes way to ibvious. Looking at Morticia and the headmaster of the Nevermore Academy you see their make up and think what makeup art did that!?!?! Then again Ultra HD does show so much detail... Hoping that Season two will be coming within the next 6 months.