jamesrupert2014

All of Earth's monsters (Godzilla et al, now a fairly aimable and well-behaved lot) are sequestered on the titular island where they are watched over by G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan), assisted first by Torema (Maimi Okuwa), a comely, vengeful alien and later by Misato (Kaori Aso), his cute monster-vet daughter; BUT, there is something hidden on the island that is coveted by the evil Xilien 'Giant Dark Emperor'. To conquer G-Guard and steal the secret, the fiendish glowing space-head dispatches his sexy minions (first Randeth (Kaoru Ukawa), later Zagreth (Naoko Aizawa)) who have the ability to recruit 'space monsters' (Ghidorah et al, not so amiable and well behaved), sometimes obtaining the beasts from (in unique Japanese fashion) a 'giant monster vending machine'. For 256 brief episodes, wicked plots are hatched and stymied, kaiju roar and brawl, giant robots come and go, sneaky space-babes preen and gloat, and an annoying delivery girl keeps showing up in G-Guard headquarters with snacks. All of this is done with a cast of three or four people, a couple of computer 'voices', a very excitable narrator (Yutaka Aoyama), and a host of barely animated plastic toy monsters. The series likely will be of interest only to kids and fanatic kaiju-philes. I am in the latter category, and although the acting, special effects, and script are as cartoonish as expected given the premise and execution, I found the silly show endearingly fun to watch (admittedly in an eye-rolling way). Fans of Toho's canon of tokusatsu will enjoy the inside jokes, the frequent, sometimes obscure, references to the venerable films, and especially the opening music, a sped-up version of Ikufube's famous 'Godzilla March' that rapidly rattles off the names of most of Toho's suit-mation bestiary (whether they are in this series or not). It took me a while to get through all the episodes as they were slowly being fed into the web-world and now I am saddened that there are no more.

The lights from a massive meteor storm blinds most of the population, which is very convenient for a rapidly-reproducing motile, carnivorous plant that recently arrived on Earth via a meteor. Based on the eponymous book by John Wyndham, the film is even more contrived and implausible that its source material. Howard Keel, whom I'm used to seeing in singing roles, makes for a bland 'hero' and the rest of the cast is on par with the film (fans of Doctor Who will spot Susan, the first Doctor's granddaughter (Carol Ann Ford) who has a brief appearance as a young blind girl destined to become fertiliser). The images of the titular killer-plants are not particularly well done (in the book they were 'ambush' predators with a poisonous lash-like sting, in the film they are typical shuffling monsters) and the rest of the special-effects are a mixed bag of effective (e.g., the burning ports) and weak (e.g., the crashes of a train and later of a jet). The film has some harsh moments: at one point the 'hero' takes off leaving a group of blind young women in the hands of a gang of brutal, drunken escaped convicts (likely suspecting that the imminent onslaught of triffids will grant the helpless girls' a death before 'a fate worse than death'. Wyndham's apocalyptic books focussed more on humanity's responses (good and bad) to the disaster than on the disaster per se, so a short 'monster movie' doesn't really do his tale justice; plus, the film undercuts his bleak vision with a last minute 'deus ex machina' and an epilogue not unlike the pretentious final words in 1953's 'War of the World' (in that film Well's ending was kept but the 'agency' behind it was changed). Supposedly the original negatives were lost and most circulating copies are low quality (such as the version I recently watched on Tubi). The film's odd structure (two disconnected story lines: the escape to Europe and the besieged lighthouse) were due to a need to extend running time beyond 60 min. The extra footage likely resulted in a lot more viewings in the following decades as it features Janette Scott, who is famously referenced in Rocky Horror's opening song "Science Fiction/Double Feature" (Lips! Lips! LIPS!).

Valerie (Jaroslava Schallerová), a young girl just entering menarche, experiences strange, mystical, and often erotic, events including magical earrings, a predatory and immoral priest, face-changing monsters, orgies in crypts, and a coven of vampires. This surreal new-wave Czech fantasy is full of 'blood and innocence' symbolism and strange, sometimes unsettling, imagery, as Valerie interacts with the odd denizens of her pseudo-medieval town, many of whom are not who they appear (or claim) to be. As the entire story may be a product of the young girl's waking imagination or dreamlife, the film has a sense of 'anything goes' magical realism. Schallerová is quite good portraying Valerie as an odd blend mature and ingenuous. Considering that the young actress was only 13-years-old when appearing partially nude in several scenes, I am surprised that the film has not been censored (or banned) and was recently shown intact on TCM. Strange and interesting but likely not to everyone's tastes.