JohnJohnRomualdez

It's a familiar feeling for anyone who has braved the back catalog of German-produced Netflix thrillers: a sinking sensation that begins somewhere around the 5-minute mark, when you realize the only thing being strangled is the narrative, and the only suspense is whether the next line of dialogue will make less sense than the last.

The core problem, and there are many, lies with a screenplay that seems to have been translated from a language not yet invented by humans. Characters exchange dialogue that feels less like a conversation and more like a series of non-sequiturs, each line a solitary island in an ocean of awkward silence. Talented actors, particularly the excellent Svenja Jung, do their best to inject some semblance of emotion into this narrative abyss, but it's like asking a concert pianist to perform a masterpiece on a broken kazoo. You can see the effort, but the result is a dissonant, painful mess. The titular "thrills" are non-existent, unless you count the heart-pounding tension of watching two people look at each other with vaguely troubled expressions for extended periods.

This cinematic shipwreck is a stunning feast for the eyes. The film's DOP deserves a medal, or at least a better script. Every frame of Mallorca is a joy to watch. The golden-hour light bathing ancient stone villas, the impossibly blue waters of the Mediterranean, the serpentine roads carving through lush green hills-it's all a breathtaking advertisement for Spanish tourism.

In the end, Fall for Me is a rare and peculiar beast. It is a film that is profoundly bad in almost every technical and creative way. It's the cinematic equivalent of a luxury car with no engine: it looks magnificent on the outside, but it won't take you anywhere you want to go. Watch it for the scenery, but be warned: the only thing you'll fall for is the island of Mallorca, and even that won't be enough to save your evening.

Brick is the ultimate grandmother of all bad movies ever made. So bad you can hardly believe it. Incredibly lame with a stupid story that leads nowhere. Who writes this stuff? Who at Netflix thinks, "hey this sound really cool. How much money do you need? I mean, we are Netflix, we swim in money." The entire 2nd act, (if one can call it that) is so painfully boring. Every character is undeveloped, has no goal and is totally unappealing. What a waist of time. The director (also the author) behind this drama has no idea how to build suspense. Do you see any fear, sweat, tears or anger in the characters? No. The whole thing was probably shot on some soundstage in Eastern Europe (because it was cheap). Just an embarrassing movie.

The film is said to have cost 40 million euros. (There will also be a TV series made of the movie, or it was filmed simultaneously. ). Anyway, the result is just sad and embarrassing.

First mistake. Boring as hell of screenplay.

Second mistake: Boring actors, or rather, what are they supposed to play given such a lousy script? The box office in Germany was a disaster. Not even 200,000 viewers in theaters. Not to be recommended at all. No TV series with X to Z episodes will fix that either.

Maybe the filmmakers should have just watched Game of Thrones or one of the really good Viking series to see how to entertain in an exciting way.