bbjzilla

Strangely boring gothic chiller involving much stilted menace, red herring and latent insanity to make it fun finding out how it resolves but by the time the third act comes along, common sense is abandoned as the plot relies on an absurd twist that seems unlikely at best involving hypnosis and a coffin with a glass top.

The acting, make up and costume, even the sets are all good, the direction effective without being impressive, it's an Italian Edgar Allen Poe set in Scotland. Women wander around in nightgowns, there's a dream sequence and a madman on the loose but it's all played so matter-of-fact there's no real scares or tension as it meanders to a conclusion that everyone seems fine with despite the body count and horror.

Ridiculously camp tale of outer space shenanigans involving mad scientists and secret lairs, robots and countdowns and explosions.

It's hard to put your finger on quite what's wrong with it; it's no worse than an episode of Blake's 7 or Buck Rodgers; apparently on a budget of $3 million dollars it appears televisual and lacking anything decent in terms of costume, effects, music or ideas wouldn't seem out of place as a TV movie.

Instead it's a hugely derivative trope-fest, which along with its spiritual follow up, the more adult Saturn 3, seems terribly dated and out of step with contemporary cinema. Instead it's an unintentionally hilarious pilot episode for a nonexistent tv series with plenty of cheesy acting, lame effects (check out the slow motion time dilation) with high ambition but seriously low on quality and originality.

I haven't watched this.

I saw the trailer and Freevee helpfully started playing it without request leading me to surmise it's Spam, but Prime Spam.

It's got Morgan Freeman being a world weary authority on bad folks and a tortured cop that eats well. It's a bit about magic and voodoo or whatever and there's stuff about dead children in there.

It looks glossy and expensive and not without some action; but caveat emptor as they say. Has no one seen Se7en? Apparently 6 script writers and 18(!) producers have and it's probably their favourite movie ever. I bet they wish they'd thought of it so here it is again with some bits changed so is not too obvious.

But with the genre continually being reinvented this looks like a facsimile with none of the invention or style or the pervasive dread of its progenitor. Amazon and AppleTV may champion their exclusive product but with people returning to the cinema it's the new "Straight to Video" and that's not a compliment.