gregwillms
Joined Oct 2015
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Reviews6
gregwillms's rating
I'm not sure I'm going through have enough superlatives to describe just how bad this film is.
Characters: they're basically all wooden and give the audience no reason whatsoever to either like them or dislike them. New characters pop up out of nowhere without explanation or background. I kept having to ask myself, "who is this person and what do they have to do with any of this?"
Plot: oh boy, I don't even know where to start here. I get that many adventure films of this type start with a ridiculous "goal". Find the ark of the covenant, steal the declaration of independence, time travel device, etc. That's what makes the ensuing adventure worthwhile. But the movie only works of the ensuing adventure is entertaining. That's really more important than the final destination. This film just continues to repeat the same basic scenario over and over until they're like, "yeah, that should get us to about 2 hours". Go to a place, look for a thing, find the thing, bad guys find you, fight them, escape, repeat ad nauseum.
Acting: this had the feel of a star wars film... no amount of acting craft can overcome the atrocity that is the script of this film. And honestly, I rarely believed that the actors were even trying that hard. It's as if they knew how bad of a stinker this thing was and willfully phoned it in.
Conclusion: your time would be better spent fishing for sharks in your bathtub.
Characters: they're basically all wooden and give the audience no reason whatsoever to either like them or dislike them. New characters pop up out of nowhere without explanation or background. I kept having to ask myself, "who is this person and what do they have to do with any of this?"
Plot: oh boy, I don't even know where to start here. I get that many adventure films of this type start with a ridiculous "goal". Find the ark of the covenant, steal the declaration of independence, time travel device, etc. That's what makes the ensuing adventure worthwhile. But the movie only works of the ensuing adventure is entertaining. That's really more important than the final destination. This film just continues to repeat the same basic scenario over and over until they're like, "yeah, that should get us to about 2 hours". Go to a place, look for a thing, find the thing, bad guys find you, fight them, escape, repeat ad nauseum.
Acting: this had the feel of a star wars film... no amount of acting craft can overcome the atrocity that is the script of this film. And honestly, I rarely believed that the actors were even trying that hard. It's as if they knew how bad of a stinker this thing was and willfully phoned it in.
Conclusion: your time would be better spent fishing for sharks in your bathtub.
I've been a fan of Sandler's since his SNL days. Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison came out while I was in high school and we watched them incessantly. His comedy album "They're All Gonna Laugh at You" (1993) is one of the greatest ever. Based on these early years, he became a comedy icon.
This new "comedy" show bears no resemblance to any of that former greatness. Did I expect it want it to be exactly the same as that old stuff? No. Did I expect it to be funny? Yes. It is not. He just awkwardly mumbles his way from line to line laughing at himself more than I laughed at him. It all felt "phoned in" and just something he did because maybe he was bored. Don't waste your time.
This new "comedy" show bears no resemblance to any of that former greatness. Did I expect it want it to be exactly the same as that old stuff? No. Did I expect it to be funny? Yes. It is not. He just awkwardly mumbles his way from line to line laughing at himself more than I laughed at him. It all felt "phoned in" and just something he did because maybe he was bored. Don't waste your time.
This has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. The plot is beyond ridiculous, the script feels like it was written by a high school kid, and the acting is SyFy channel original at best. Samwell Tarly was the highlight of the movie. I can't fathom anyone reading the screenplay for this and saying, "yeah, this looks good, let's go ahead and throw millions of dollars at it". Things happen with no explanation whatsoever, then suddenly change for, again, no reason. It's just so, SO bad. I would feel sorry for the actors but not only did they agree to be in the movie, but they even got paid for it.