marcwiechmann
Joined Feb 2016
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Ratings410
marcwiechmann's rating
Reviews11
marcwiechmann's rating
Okay. So, the protagonist sees her dead buddy in a bath tub. She didn't see her die, but she imagines her struggle, and from there she develops a trauma, making her panic whenever her face touches water, seeing those struggle sequence in her head that she never has seen. Whut, lul??
Of course next she goes open sea paddling with the sister of the dead friend who hates her, cuz that is what you do. 20 min in until anything happens, which, really, is nothing. The shark is only stock video snippets. You can tell the director had either no vision, no money or no talent. Or all of those. There is this shot they try, that is somewhat famous and should be terrifying, when a huge shark swims under the kajak, to show you how massive the shark is. But even this shot is bad, they had obviously not even a drone or sth, you just see a part of the kajak and a blurry shadow, hahaha, it's so bad omg. So, a shark movie with close to no shark. A plastic fin sometimes. Was a cheap plastic thing that they could not show in close up is my only logical explanation, cuz you never see it close, so the fin and the shark always look tiny. Even artificial blood seems to have been rare. The "blood water" looks like thin red soup, the wounds you see (only once) are made badly.
So, what is left? Bad acting, a ridiculously bad script and really unprofessional camera work.
You don't even get the satisfaction to see everyone die.
1 star still too much, do not waste your time with that.
Of course next she goes open sea paddling with the sister of the dead friend who hates her, cuz that is what you do. 20 min in until anything happens, which, really, is nothing. The shark is only stock video snippets. You can tell the director had either no vision, no money or no talent. Or all of those. There is this shot they try, that is somewhat famous and should be terrifying, when a huge shark swims under the kajak, to show you how massive the shark is. But even this shot is bad, they had obviously not even a drone or sth, you just see a part of the kajak and a blurry shadow, hahaha, it's so bad omg. So, a shark movie with close to no shark. A plastic fin sometimes. Was a cheap plastic thing that they could not show in close up is my only logical explanation, cuz you never see it close, so the fin and the shark always look tiny. Even artificial blood seems to have been rare. The "blood water" looks like thin red soup, the wounds you see (only once) are made badly.
So, what is left? Bad acting, a ridiculously bad script and really unprofessional camera work.
You don't even get the satisfaction to see everyone die.
1 star still too much, do not waste your time with that.
The Disappointments Room.
Do you know where that room is? It was my living room while watching this horrible excuse of a movie.
What the heck was the movie about at all?
And I knew it before. As you probably are just as big horror fans as I am, you know the golden rule: when there is a famous Hollywood actor / actress in it, the movie is bad. Really, really bad.
But I adore Kate Beckinsale (even though blonde is NOT a good hair colour for her...), so I wanted to give it a shot. And hey, there CAN be pleasant surprises when it comes to horror flicks with stars in it. Deliver Us From Evil, Mirrors, The Veil (but not for Alba, for T.Jane only!). It CAN work, so I was full of hope.
I shouldn't have been.
The movie is completely boring, from start to end. There is no "horror" in it. I mean, literally. The only scenes, that are supposed to be creepy, are flashbacks, nothing more. No jumpscares, no gore, no suspense, just plain nothing.
If Kate at least would have undressed, but nooooo, not even that.
The plot is confusing and has no start and no end - I heard important scenes got cut out of the movie (read the review of the extra from the movie's set), but even with all of them included it would still be a horrible movie.
Kate Beckinsale obviously did not receive enough money to bring in some effort, and the Frank Grillo clone could not catch that up for her.
The quality of course was good, perfect camera, light, sound, there was nothing left to be desired. But you can bet Kate Beckinsale does not work with people not knowing their technical jobs on set.
This must have been some contract work for Beckinsale, I cannot see why she participated in this mess of a movie. Or maybe she cannot get any more roles these days, since the success of "Underworld" lies far back in the past, and she does not get younger, I don't know. Whatever, just like me, she should have avoided this movie.
I could not even tell, what the movie really, really was about. Sure, there was this room where the rich people hid their ugly kids, fair enough. But why some - what? Ghosts? - haunt her now, and ONLY her but nobody else, I have no idea. What was it about that dude helping doing the repairs? Is he dead, or what? Was he real at all? He has to be, since her hubbie has seen him, right? And all those multiple scenes, where you see all actors in different roles? WTF?
As the title says: the movie is a complete and utter mess. It has no clear target to achieve, no character development at all, and more holes than plot.
The golden rule just got confirmed again. Avoid horror movies with big names in it. Give 20.000 bucks to some talented amateurs, and you will get way more entertaining horror flicks.
Put Beckinsale back in this black leather catsuit or let her play some RomCom, this is her only range as actress.
Please.
No More.
Do you know where that room is? It was my living room while watching this horrible excuse of a movie.
What the heck was the movie about at all?
And I knew it before. As you probably are just as big horror fans as I am, you know the golden rule: when there is a famous Hollywood actor / actress in it, the movie is bad. Really, really bad.
But I adore Kate Beckinsale (even though blonde is NOT a good hair colour for her...), so I wanted to give it a shot. And hey, there CAN be pleasant surprises when it comes to horror flicks with stars in it. Deliver Us From Evil, Mirrors, The Veil (but not for Alba, for T.Jane only!). It CAN work, so I was full of hope.
I shouldn't have been.
The movie is completely boring, from start to end. There is no "horror" in it. I mean, literally. The only scenes, that are supposed to be creepy, are flashbacks, nothing more. No jumpscares, no gore, no suspense, just plain nothing.
If Kate at least would have undressed, but nooooo, not even that.
The plot is confusing and has no start and no end - I heard important scenes got cut out of the movie (read the review of the extra from the movie's set), but even with all of them included it would still be a horrible movie.
Kate Beckinsale obviously did not receive enough money to bring in some effort, and the Frank Grillo clone could not catch that up for her.
The quality of course was good, perfect camera, light, sound, there was nothing left to be desired. But you can bet Kate Beckinsale does not work with people not knowing their technical jobs on set.
This must have been some contract work for Beckinsale, I cannot see why she participated in this mess of a movie. Or maybe she cannot get any more roles these days, since the success of "Underworld" lies far back in the past, and she does not get younger, I don't know. Whatever, just like me, she should have avoided this movie.
I could not even tell, what the movie really, really was about. Sure, there was this room where the rich people hid their ugly kids, fair enough. But why some - what? Ghosts? - haunt her now, and ONLY her but nobody else, I have no idea. What was it about that dude helping doing the repairs? Is he dead, or what? Was he real at all? He has to be, since her hubbie has seen him, right? And all those multiple scenes, where you see all actors in different roles? WTF?
As the title says: the movie is a complete and utter mess. It has no clear target to achieve, no character development at all, and more holes than plot.
The golden rule just got confirmed again. Avoid horror movies with big names in it. Give 20.000 bucks to some talented amateurs, and you will get way more entertaining horror flicks.
Put Beckinsale back in this black leather catsuit or let her play some RomCom, this is her only range as actress.
Please.
No More.
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