Cushman101

Brad Pitt's F1: The Movie is what happens when Hollywood decides to slap a redemption arc onto a carbon-fiber chassis and call it cinema. Yes, the racing scenes are slick-IMAX-worthy, even. But once the engines cool and the helmets come off, you're left with a plot that feels like it was written during a pit stop.

Pitt plays Sonny Hayes, a retired driver dragged back into the sport to mentor a hot-headed rookie. Groundbreaking, right? It's basically The Karate Kid in a race suit, minus the emotional payoff and with more brooding stares into the middle distance. Pitt is charming, of course - he could read a tire pressure manual and still make it sexy- but the script gives him about as much depth as a puddle on race day.

The supporting cast? Javier Bardem tries to inject gravitas, Kerry Condon looks perpetually concerned, and Damson Idris plays the rookie with all the subtlety of a Red Bull marketing campaign. You can almost hear the studio execs whispering, "Just make it look cool and throw in some Zimmer music."

And look cool it does. The racing sequences are genuinely thrilling, and Kosinski knows how to shoot speed like it's poetry. But once the adrenaline wears off, you're left wondering if the emotional stakes were ever real or just another lap around the cliché circuit.

In short: F1: The Movie is a glossy, well-oiled machine that runs out of narrative fuel halfway through. It's not a crash, but it's definitely not podium-worthy either. Watch it for the spectacle, stay for Brad's jawline, and lower your expectations for anything resembling character development.

Jurassic World: Rebirth - A Dino-Snore Disaster Jurassic World: Rebirth is a colossal letdown that makes you wish the dinosaurs stayed extinct. Scarlett Johansson's Zora leads a yawn-worthy mission to snag dino DNA for some vague heart disease cure, dragging along Mahershala Ali and Jonathan Bailey, who deserve better than this recycled slop. The plot's a tired rehash-shady exec, dangerous island, stranded family subplot that screams "filler." Dinosaurs? More like dino-snores, with the Distortus rex looking like a budget CGI reject that can't decide if it's building-sized or bike-sized.

The script's a mess, with dialogue so clunky it sounds like it was written by a T-Rex on a typewriter. Action scenes fizzle, the pacing's a slog, and the "horror" is about as scary as a plush velociraptor. Nostalgia's slathered on like cheap sunscreen, but it's not enough to save this from feeling like a cash-grab corpse of the 1993 classic. With a 51% Rotten Tomatoes score, it's clear this reboot's a fossil nobody asked for.

Next time, Universal, get Tom Cruise to sprint from raptors-maybe then this franchise will have a pulse.