Milk_Tray_Guy

Italian/Spanish produced giallo, directed by Maurizio Pradeaux, and starring Robert Hoffmann and Nieves Navarro (under her sometimes alias 'Susan Scott').

Kitty (Navarro) is showing her parents around Rome. Whilst visiting one beauty spot she uses the coin-operated telescope. As she does so she inadvertently sees a murder taking place through an apartment window. A figure dressed in black coat, black hat, and black gloves repeatedly stabs a woman. However, before she can see the killer's face, the telescope's time runs out and the picture disappears. By the time she's managed to put another coin in the killer has escaped. Unable to identify exactly where the killing took place, she has difficulty persuading the police as to what she saw - until the woman's body turns up. As the police try to track down the killer more murders occur - their throats all cut with a straight razor. One clue the police find at the crime scenes is the bloody imprint of the tip of a walking cane...

This all sounds like something straight out of Hitchcock. But it doesn't take long before you're reminded you're in giallo-country, where common sense, logic, and believability very much take second place to blood, nudity, and ridiculous plotting! 😄 That said, it's still pretty gripping. It's interesting to see a thriller set in Rome spending more time in the dirty backstreets than amongst the beautiful architecture. The kills are very tensely filmed, and the closeup, detailed throat and body slashings are all very convincing (shame the blood all over the crime scenes looks like the usual giallo 'someone's kicked over a tin of red paint'). Navarro is good, but Hoffmann (as her boyfriend) is on the wooden side - as is George Martin, who plays the police Inspector. There are of course the usual abundant red-herrings (I've never seen a film where so many people walked with a cane), and when the killer is revealed their motivation makes absolutely no sense. By which I don't mean there's a plothole; I mean that the three (I think) sentences given in exposition don't in any way actually explain why they've done it! But if you're watching for coherence you've probably picked the wrong genre. It's certainly not great cinema, but it's an entertaining time-passer. 7/10.

I knew from the almost opening line about 'Straight white males' being prone to violence that this was going to be a 'slasher for modern audiences' (in other words, the makers were going to **** on something that fans love), and yep - white guys are scumbags, DEI casting abounds, make sure there's 'queer representation'', and focus on the cheerleaders doing cartwheels just so we can see they're wearing shorts under their skirts, and not underwear for the dreaded 'male gaze'. It wouldn't be so bad if all that was part of the joke; but it isn't. Slasher films come with certain expectations; parody them if you want, but don't **** on them.

Vince Vaughn and Kathryn Newton do their best and at least seem to be having fun, but overall an interesting premise is sacrificed on the alter of PC/SJ virtue signalling. No wonder it did so badly. 4/10.

I like a good movie about lesbian nuns as much as the next guy (or lesbian) but this is not a good movie. Credit where it's due; the camerawork, lighting, costumes, and locations/sets are way above what you'd expect from a porn flick. Most (not all) of the girls are cute. Nina Hartley, however, is well past her sell-by date. Credit to her for her 'services in porn', but it's time to call it a day - at least in front of the camera. The rest of the female cast are obvious boob jobs and poor acting. Really, the acting is dreadful. I know it's a porn flick, but it's a porn flick with serious delusions of grandeur. You'd think, given that, that they'd hire a cast who could deliver their lines without sounding like they're being fed to them one line at a time off-camera. The exception to this is Heather Graham lookalike Charlotte Stokely, who I've said before has some talent (beyond the obvious) and with the potential to make it as a mainstream actress. Oh the sound. It sounds like it was recorded on an iPhone all the way through. Obviously all recorded on-set (which does give some unintentional laughs when as these horny nuns disrobe you can hear the Velcro ripping!). There are also serious pacing issues. When a scene featuring two hotties getting steamy with each other has you looking at your watch you know there's a problem. They obviously spent some money on this. Shame they fell down on the basics. 4/10.