richardtilley-76559

I cannot stand pretentious kids/young adults that suddenly break into dance and love themselves while doing it. I cannot stand pretentious kids/young adults that are horrendous actors but think they are good. I cannot stand really bad adult actors that are horribly miscast. I've learnt from watching this that I hate a non actor, pretending to be a hotel bellboy, that cannot not dance when spoken to. In fact I absolutely despise everything about this thing that should never have been made. Yes, I'm a grumpy old fart.

Why did I watch this travesty of a film? There's only one reason I would watch this vomit inducing rubbish...Rifftrax, and I struggled to get through it, even with their hilarious commentary.

First things first, I watched the Rifftrax of this which is, as usual, very funny.

The film is an odd one and not very good. Three generations of the Cardona family were either involved in making it, writing it or acting in it so it's a bit of a vanity project, unfortunately they couldn't come up with a strong enough story because half the film is padding and dull. What story there is, is illogical, the plot has holes and, last but certainly not least, it has one of the bleakest endings I've ever seen.

Acting is okay, although I think the best actor was the chimp, but it's all so sickly sweet (until that ending) and the music is damned annoying.

I wouldn't have watched this if it hadn't been rifftracked, but it's certainly a cinematic curio.

The plot is completely throw-away and it gets a little silly in the second half with the addition of the three young street-wise gangsters but, compared to some of the other martial arts movies I've watched over the last week, I actually enjoyed the fighting sequences more in this, at least they felt more realistic and it looked like people were actually getting punched and kicked.

Lorenzo Lamas might be looked upon as a sort of 10th rate Van-Damme but he's got some moves and bad guy Erik Gauus (Matthias Hues) was pretty damn good.