nayokow

"Uglies" is an absolute abomination from start to finish. It's rare to see a film fail on nearly every level, but this one manages to do just that. The acting is painfully wooden, with not a single performance managing to feel even remotely authentic. The plot is a disjointed mess, completely lacking in cohesion or any real sense of purpose. It stumbles through tired clichés without any originality or depth, leaving the audience with nothing to care about. There's a clear lack of direction, and the film feels like a series of bad decisions stacked on top of each other. In short, "Uglies" is a colossal waste of time and a perfect example of how not to make a movie.

What was promised as a thrilling rollercoaster ride turned out to be a tepid, by-the-numbers caper that could put even the most forgiving action enthusiasts to sleep.

One might think it's hard to mess up a spy thriller, but "Argyle" takes this as a challenge, weaving a narrative so convoluted and devoid of logic that it leaves viewers not only confused but utterly disinterested. The screenplay seems to have been cobbled together from the cutting room floor of superior films, resulting in a story that lacks originality or coherence. The characters, if they can be called that, are cardboard cutouts lacking depth or motivation.

Oh man, let's talk about this one character, the old head of NASA, right? This guy, imagine the most grumpy old man you can, but slap a bunch of medals on him and give him control over space missions. He's ex-military, and oh boy, does he not let you forget it. Every scene he's in, it's like he's got a personal vendetta against happiness. He grumbles every other minute. It's like, dude, chill out! We get it, you walked uphill both ways to the spaceship in your day, but give it a rest already.

And then, there's the main female character, the supposed shining star of rationality and progress, right? Wrong! She's out here making decisions that make absolutely zero sense. It's like watching someone try to solve a Rubik's cube by throwing it against the wall and hoping it lands solved. "Let's take this untested technology to the edge of the black hole!" or "Sure, let's trust the alien species that has betrayed us five times already!" It's maddening! You're sitting there, yelling at the screen, wondering if she left her logic and reasoning back on Earth because, surely, it's not with her in space.