eoffermann
Joined Apr 2006
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eoffermann's rating
So... I'm fostering a cat (long story but he's a great big stray that's hung around our house for years and we became friends. He was getting into a lot of fights and as he got older, he was getting hurt more so we took him in while we try to find a single cat household to adopt him.)
Anyway... we realized that Squeaks liked watching TV - so every night when I put him to bed, I started putting on a little TV in the bedroom he stays in.
And he is HOOKED on LHOTP. Little House was one of my favorite shows growing up, so it's especially fun to finish each night watching an episode snuggling with the house panther.
(Seriously - he loves this show - you should see him stretched out on the bed, fixated on the lives of the Ingalls family. Side note; we live in Sonora, where the pilot episode was filmed.)
Anyway... we realized that Squeaks liked watching TV - so every night when I put him to bed, I started putting on a little TV in the bedroom he stays in.
And he is HOOKED on LHOTP. Little House was one of my favorite shows growing up, so it's especially fun to finish each night watching an episode snuggling with the house panther.
(Seriously - he loves this show - you should see him stretched out on the bed, fixated on the lives of the Ingalls family. Side note; we live in Sonora, where the pilot episode was filmed.)
I'm not confused by this movie. You're probably not, either. The problem is that you're not watching one movie - you're watching five movies, five variations of a similar screenplay, that someone was rushing to deliver to the director moments before the shot the entire film without pausing.
As they raced across a frozen lake to deliver all five of these screenplay adaptations to the director, they slipped... The folder flew open, the screenplays which were weirdly neither stapled nor paperclipped flew every which direction.
That poor, hapless PA did what they could... They scrapped them all together but many sheets fell into the broken ice, some slide away, some were just damaged, but they're now mostly in order. Well, they're now just all in one stack.
And that's what they shot. Five mixed up screenplays, all at once.
That's what happened here, obviously. Because otherwise it doesn't make sense - why would anyone greenlight this mess of a movie? Did they lose a bet? Did they owe somebody a favor?
Is it about sex trafficking? Pedophiles? Serial killers? Vigilantes? There are good movies waiting to be made out of small fragments of this film.
They should go back and make one of those. Heck, I bet they could cut three of them from the footage from this film alone.
As they raced across a frozen lake to deliver all five of these screenplay adaptations to the director, they slipped... The folder flew open, the screenplays which were weirdly neither stapled nor paperclipped flew every which direction.
That poor, hapless PA did what they could... They scrapped them all together but many sheets fell into the broken ice, some slide away, some were just damaged, but they're now mostly in order. Well, they're now just all in one stack.
And that's what they shot. Five mixed up screenplays, all at once.
That's what happened here, obviously. Because otherwise it doesn't make sense - why would anyone greenlight this mess of a movie? Did they lose a bet? Did they owe somebody a favor?
Is it about sex trafficking? Pedophiles? Serial killers? Vigilantes? There are good movies waiting to be made out of small fragments of this film.
They should go back and make one of those. Heck, I bet they could cut three of them from the footage from this film alone.
Characterization needed a lot of massaging - it's not enough to say "cultists" and make them weird crazy people when we have to watch them for the next hour. There's only three of them so I should know why every one of them is willing to die for this cult or why they want out. If we don't need to know them that well, we also don't need them onscreen for 75% of the film.
Riley Scott and the character Josie are terrific: Scott has the cocky humor when it's in the script so she should get more of an opportunity to use it. There's enough of an underdog hero aesthetic and an amusing basis for her to have a near-superpower set of abilities but ultimately, she's underutilized. The setup is basically a Lovecraftian take on Die Hard so we kinda needed a lot more of that. It's cultists and a rich guy's house not Nakatomi Plaza, so we could have totally been treated to some really brutal "Home Alone" shenanigans but ultimately there just wasn't enough to work with.
Fight scenes are pretty good, the acting was decent - would have probably been a lot better if there was more to work with on the page. The premise is solid but it felt like they rushed the script.
I'd watch a sequel if they wanted to really go with it. More numerous cultists, or really eff a handful of them up by the end, Harry and Marv style, and play it for laughs. This felt too timid to be as good as it could have been. Funnier, bloodier, creepier... something.
Riley Scott and the character Josie are terrific: Scott has the cocky humor when it's in the script so she should get more of an opportunity to use it. There's enough of an underdog hero aesthetic and an amusing basis for her to have a near-superpower set of abilities but ultimately, she's underutilized. The setup is basically a Lovecraftian take on Die Hard so we kinda needed a lot more of that. It's cultists and a rich guy's house not Nakatomi Plaza, so we could have totally been treated to some really brutal "Home Alone" shenanigans but ultimately there just wasn't enough to work with.
Fight scenes are pretty good, the acting was decent - would have probably been a lot better if there was more to work with on the page. The premise is solid but it felt like they rushed the script.
I'd watch a sequel if they wanted to really go with it. More numerous cultists, or really eff a handful of them up by the end, Harry and Marv style, and play it for laughs. This felt too timid to be as good as it could have been. Funnier, bloodier, creepier... something.