hannahchow

Let's whip up a little cinema souffle. Mix generous portions of mindless violence, ridiculous science, and cardboard characters. Add you've-seen-it-all-before gung fu fights and a you've-heard-it-all-before hip-hop sound track. Serve lukewarm at best. Slight kudos to Anthony Anderson and Tom Arnold for providing some light-hearted yucks--especially the self-deprecating chit-chat over the end credits. But the rest of this derivative mess is stupefying. Bottom line: "Cradle 2 the Grave" is one of the most annoyingly unnecessary films of 2003.

"Sirens" seems to have touched a nerve here. Some reviewers dismiss it as derivative soft-core drivel. Others love it. It probably helps to know that there's little derivative about the story-it's based on real people and a real incident. Sam Neill's character--Norman Lindsay--was real. Lindsay, a prolific artist and novelist, was also a libertine living a Hugh Hefner lifestyle when the rest of the world was awakening from the Victorian Age. "Sirens" was filmed at the Lindsay home and gallery, a 40-acre estate now run by the Australian National Trust. The artworks are all Lindsay's. And the storyline is based on an incident in which the Anglican Church dispatched a cleric to convey concerns about "The Crucifixion of Venus." As for the plot, it's simply a humorous retelling of what might have been--with lots of voluptuous nudes and erotic symbolism tossed in for good measure. Yes, it's all quite predictable. You know five minutes into the film that the Converters will become the Converted. But it's a fun ride getting to that inevitable destination. `Sirens' is not for everyone. If full-frontal male and female nudity offends, you will be offended. If ridiculing the Church or its values offends, you will be offended. And if the notion that the cure for a boring marriage is a little extra-marital dalliance offends, you will truly be offended. Otherwise, it's a little erotic gem and a great way to start an even better evening. :)