snodlander

I wanted something light I could do the ironing to, and this caught my eye. With Russell Brand , Billy Connolly, Tim Curry, Eric Idle, Eddie Izzard, Jim Piddock and Tracey Ullman, it's a radio play filmed in front of an audience. You'll laugh until you cry, promised the blurb.

They lied.

What a monumental waste of talent. When I tell you that "Have you seen Dick?" "Not since my coming out ball." is the funniest, most sophisticated joke in the whole car-crash of a show, you'll get an idea of how unutterably awful it is. They must have got the audience drunk as skunks beforehand to get a laugh out of them

I've wasted my time watching it so you don't have to.

I was surprised at just how much I liked this film. At first glance it looks like Mad Max. Set in a post apocalyptic near future in Australia, a man pursues a gang, leaving behind him a trail of death. But it is so much more than that. Whilst it certainly does more than nod at Mad Max, the characters are much more complicated. And whilst the motive behind Max's doggedness is clear from the start, the reason why the protagonist in this film is so hell-bent on getting his car back isn't revealed until the final scene. The violence is reminiscent of a Tarantino road movie, but the characters are much deeper and more believable.

Eric is taciturn, answering almost every question with a question of his own. He kills without a moment's hesitation. He is dogged beyond obsession, asking the same question over and over until he gets an answer. And for what? A gang steal his car, and he is prepared to kill anyone and drive for days to get it back. Why? Despite a big clue half way through, we don't realise it's a clue until the final moments of the film.

Robert Pattinson is the co-star in this movie. Cards on the table, I don't like him. I found him creepy beyond belief in Twilight, and Cosmopolis is the worst film I have ever sat through, but in this film he portrays a simple but conflicted man-child with conviction and sympathy. Damn it, I didn't want to like his acting, but in this he is actually good.

A word of warning, don't watch this at 2 am after a bottle of wine. The director isn't afraid to put in sequences of people sitting still, staring into their own angst, or creeping around buildings in silence. It's a film you have to be alert in. It's not a film you can zone out during the quite bits and still understand what's going on when you wake up.

It's that rare thing, a violent sci-fi film that actually makes you think and surprises you with the ending.

Stallone agrees to test a high security prison. All hush hush and under the radar, so of course nothing is going to go to plan. Cue bromances, prison riots and sadistic guards.

Think of all the prisoner films with the tough guy unjustly imprisoned. Think of any original take on the genre then throw those those thoughts away.

Formulaic thriller. All the good guys are good, all the bad guys bad, 'twists' well telegraphed and of course there's always time for a bon mot when killing a baddie. Arnie phoning in his performance I'm afraid, and Sly being, well, Sly. Not memorable, not one I'll watch again.