MSHughes-1

I loved the original, and I was prepared to give this 're-imagining' a chance. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, but it needed a much firmer hand on the wheel, and at least two more rewrites. It just goes to show that you can't even re - imagine if you don't have any imagination to start with. This version tries to be rather more, well, metaphysical than the original, but again, a lot of that just comes out like that pseudo-philosophical gibberish that got spouted from any available orifice - whether or not intended for communication - in the second Matrix movie. Not awful but definitely not great. Like Ian McKellen.

At the name of Pinter, every knee shall bow - especially after his Nobel Literature Prize acceptance speech which did little more than regurgitate canned, by-the-numbers, sixth-form anti-Americanism. But this is even worse; not only is it a tour-de-force of talentlessness, a superb example of how to get away with coasting on your decades-old reputation, but it also represents the butchery of a superb piece. The original Sleuth was a masterpiece of its kind. Yes, it was a theatrical confection, and it is easy to see how it's central plot device would work better on the stage than the screen, but it still worked terrifically well. This is a Michael Caine vanity piece, but let's face it, Caine is no Olivier. Not only can he not fill Larry's shoes, he couldn't even fill his bathroom slippers. The appropriately-named Caine is, after all, a distinctly average actor, whose only real recommendation, like so many British actors, is their longevity in the business. He was a good Harry Palmer, excellent in Get Carter, but that's yer lot, mate! Give this a very wide berth and stick to the superb original. This is more of a half-pinter.

On the other hand, why not just watch Under Siege 2 again and save yourself a job? There seemed a time - long, long ago, I know - when Jeff Fahey seemed to be going somewhere. It seemed as if he might be going to the same kind of place, say, Billy Zane was going. Unfortunately, they misjudged their stop and got off at Palookaville, where they have been resident ever since, hardly troubling the rest of us with their 'adventures'. And then, after so long - this! Does anyone else see the irony of a 'vehicle' for JF being... a hijacked train? This is even worse than the Pinter-penned drivel that was the remake of 'Sleuth'. Why take something good and regurgitate it as this kind of pap? Well, actors got to eat too - even if it is crow.