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slideon

Joined Jul 2008
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.

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slideon's rating
Red Zone Cuba

Red Zone Cuba

1.6
1
  • Jul 24, 2010
  • A Horrible, horrible "movie"

    I saw the MST3K version of Night Train to Mundo Fine, aka. Red Zone Cuba, and the jokes weren't that funny, leaving me to focus on the movie. This movie is bleak, insanely boring and very, very confusing, despite its seemingly simple plot. I went to Wikipedia while watching this movie to understand what was going on. (The Wikipedia entry didn't help much either.) The dialogue is revolting and the movie is plagued with constant close-ups on the "actors", along with a stupid but confusing plot and characters and scenes that seem to blend together. Not even worth seeing the half-decent MST3K version. What angers me is that in the plot description, it says: "Gritty neo-noir art film about escaped convict Griffin and his friends, who ran all the way to hell... with a penny, and a broken cigarette." Art film? Seriously?
    Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

    Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

    3.7
    1
  • Mar 7, 2009
  • Video Game Movies Aren't Getting Any Better

    I semi-enjoyed Andrzej Bartkowiak last film, Doom. While Doom is no cinematic masterpiece, I consider it the best video game to film adaptation ever.

    Even saying that though, the film still isn't all that great.

    But Street Fighter Legend of Chun-Li is really awful.

    Direction is badly done. I'm no director and Andrzej Bartkowiak clearly has more talent that I do, but really, even the average movie watcher will spot z-grade direction.

    The film contains some Street Fighter characters, but the plot is made out of thin air, not from the games.

    The film is also terribly cast. Neal McDonough is the worst Bison ever.

    I watched the old Van Damme film 2 weeks before Chun-Li, and sadly, the Van Damme version is better. I can't believe I'm saying that. But it's true.

    And the fact that it was in theatres for only a week tells you what kind of movie it is.
    Ape

    Ape

    2.6
    1
  • Jan 21, 2009
  • Couldn't be a bigger King Kong rip-off

    A*P*E is both stupid and follows the King Kong storyline, and is probably the worst movie I have ever seen.

    Everything from King Kong and even Godzilla is copied by A*P*E. 1 - The ape escapes from an oil tanker. 2 - Giant footprints are found. 3 - They want to show the Ape off to the public. 4 - Ape kidnaps girl. 5 - Girl feels somehow attracted to the Ape. 6 - Army attacks Ape.

    Besides having a duplicate plot, A*P*E has many technical problems as well.

    1 - The Ape is 36 feet tall, but the shark and snake are the size of him. 2 - He towers over buildings, but he's 36 feet tall. 3 - The Ape throws the snake at the camera, knocking it down. 4 - You can see the Ape actor's shirt underneath the costume. 5 - Tons of plastic toys in this film.

    And you can tell the actor who played the Ape is pretty angry over him playing the role. He flips off the camera at one point.

    A*P*E fails as a movie, but as a comedy, it's really good. Get a bunch of friends and do a MST3K kind of thing.
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