Ingeving

I saw this film on IFFR 2011 in Rotterdam, and even though a little while ago, I still remember it very clearly. In fact, I thought it was the best film I have seen on the whole festival.

Tender Son is a very, very strong film, with strong emotions from an unwelcome cast-away son and his family who coincidentally returns to them.

With 'disturbing' as one of the emotions that is most present while watching the film, it is not a popular film (some people walked out during the screening), which is a pity.

To think of this movie as a thriller, or horror movie and watch it with these expectations would be wrong. I would say it has much more in common with films such as Antichrist by Lars von Trier or Das weisse Band by Michael Haneke.

If you can stomach these films and the emotion 'disturbing' this film is a 10, in intensity, stills, story, in everything. It is one I would recommend and look forward to seeing again.

This movie underlines that man is a social creature. We naturally form groups, groups of friends, of people who like the same music etc. Especially when we are young, belonging to a group is important, it makes our identity, who we are -- as opposed to who everyone else is. And so the teacher in the movie uses what is naturally there, to teach his pupils about autocracy. It shows what happens when you stress that identity, when you stress the sameness, and thus also the otherness of those not belonging to the group. Eventually it shows how easy it is for one, for the group to slip, even without being aware of it. Autocracy isn't dead, it is alive and it is easy. This movie is a must see for everyone, but especially for the young.

If you've had drama in your life, either your own or by someone close to you, the stages of pain this woman (but, in my opinion, it could easily have been a man too)goes through are very very real. It is a movie about not being able to cope with your pain, about not knowing what to do to help yourself get through it. Obviously it then also is a movie about not knowing how to help someone close to you get through their pain. It is a movie that makes you realize that everyone is alone in their suffering. It is a movie that might push someone over the edge...which hardly sounds like a recommendation. I'm not sure I would recommend someone to go see this film, especially someone close, but for me...it is a movie that puts things into perspective, that shows real pain, and is therefore much relevant to being alive. It makes you realize that hey, you or the person close to you have lived through pain, that hey, all the things you worry about now are of so little importance