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ParabolaofMystery's profile image

ParabolaofMystery

Joined Nov 2009
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.

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Ratings2.5K

ParabolaofMystery's rating
Cannibal Mukbang
5.98
Cannibal Mukbang
Beyond the Law
6.46
Beyond the Law
Silk
3.96
Silk
Empire of the Dark
4.98
Empire of the Dark
The Sugarland Express
6.77
The Sugarland Express
National Lampoon's Senior Trip
5.67
National Lampoon's Senior Trip
Batman: Caped Crusader
7.29
Batman: Caped Crusader
The State
8.49
The State
The Stunt Man
6.99
The Stunt Man
Trauma
5.87
Trauma
Zombeavers
4.88
Zombeavers
Revenge of the Nerds
6.68
Revenge of the Nerds
Hardbodies
4.96
Hardbodies
War Without End: Part One
9.19
War Without End: Part One
Ship of Tears
8.39
Ship of Tears
A Late Delivery from Avalon
7.08
A Late Delivery from Avalon
Sic Transit Vir
7.58
Sic Transit Vir
Ceremonies of Light and Dark
7.98
Ceremonies of Light and Dark
Severed Dreams
9.610
Severed Dreams
Point of No Return
9.19
Point of No Return
Messages from Earth
8.69
Messages from Earth
Exogenesis
6.85
Exogenesis
Voices of Authority
7.88
Voices of Authority
Passing Through Gethsemane
8.29
Passing Through Gethsemane
A Day in the Strife
7.48
A Day in the Strife

Reviews9

ParabolaofMystery's rating
Crocodile

Crocodile

3.8
5
  • Apr 10, 2022
  • Tobe Hooper tries something different.

    It's the year 2000, and things haven't been going so well for Tobe Hooper. For, like, fifteen years. So when he gets a chance to do something different, with some actual money behind it (nearly $3 million, apparently), he takes a chance.

    Crocodile basically tries to cross-breed Scream with Lake Placid, with decidedly mixed results. I've seen worse animals in various SyFy movies, and Tobe wisely doesn't even try to hide Croc's shortcomings, just letting him all hang out for the most part.

    Nope, the main problem is with the Scream teens. Most of them are totally unlikeable, and the ones we're supposed to care about are dry white toast on legs.

    However, this is better lensed than most movies of this ilk, and there's enough with, visual and verbal, to make this worth your 90 minutes, if only to see what Hooper was up to during Y2K.
    Resident Evil: Apocalypse

    Resident Evil: Apocalypse

    6.1
    3
  • Mar 27, 2022
  • Awful sequel.

    The first Resident Evil is probably the best movie John Carpenter never made.

    This movie is awful on every level.

    The early 2000s editing of the action scenes sinks it.

    There's no nuance to any part of it. It's all perfunctory.

    The best version of this movie I saw on the Lifetime channel (no joke), when every time Mike Epps said Mother***ker it was dubbed in as Motivator.

    Three stars is me being generous.
    In Dangerous Company

    In Dangerous Company

    3.5
    3
  • Mar 21, 2022
  • Unintentional hilarity abounds!

    Almost every single thing in this movie is overblown and wrong. The writing, the acting, the music...the direction is actually fairly technically proficient, but that only serves to highlight how terrible and wrongheaded the whole project is.

    Oh, and watch out if you're a smoker. The lead is almost constantly smoking in the first half of the movie. Don't follow his lead or you'll kill your lungs.

    Only good with some beers and some friends.
    See all reviews

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