andrej-groups

If you're bored on a cold rainy afternoon and feel like blobbing instead of going outside and doing something fun, this might be for you.

If some intense and well-choreographed fight scenes and some gore are your thing, even better.

The main thing is that you have to be able to switch off your brain (don't think too much about what's going on), don't get annoyed by horrible dialogue and ignore piss-poor acting for the most part and a storyline that makes hardly any sense at all.

As for the fight-scenes: some of them are quite exquisite, even though others employ silly things that you'd normally only see in old-school fly-by-wire Chinese Kung-Fu films which wouldn't work in a real-world setting.

I like a funny B-movie as much as the next guy, and some are so bad that they're actually entertaining to watch.

This one wasn't.

The script is a hot mess, the excessive libido early on doesn't improve the whole thing, neither do the exaggerated stereotypes with which the black Forest Ranger or the Hispanic women were portrayed.

The plot is a hot mess, the acting mediocre, the writing ... was there any?

Basically it's mostly aimlessly wandering/fumbling/staggering about in a dimly lit park, props on the cheap (did anyone have a look at that gin trap?).

I suffered through it because I wanted to have a resolution, and then wished I had finished watching once things were clear. It was dragging on pointlessly for another 20 minutes. I can't believe that Trejo was down for this, he must have been desperate for money.