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screenfav

Joined Jun 2010
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Sea Wall

Sea Wall

8.2
10
  • Feb 13, 2012
  • As real as it gets!

    Feeling like my stomach is tied in a knot and I can't breathe normally. Sounds bad I know... but I don't really feel bad. It's not that I can't react, I just... won't. I think I'm avoiding it! As if the slightest movement of my fingers or the sound of my voice would distract me and take me out of the world I've been living in for the last 34 minutes.

    Hang on... Was it a dream?! Nasty things, dreams, they often feel pretty real! Anyhow, I was talking to a man... no... was I? Well, he was talking to me, that much I remember. He said his name was Alex...He was happy most of the time, but kinda lost in his thoughts - judging by the way he was moving his arms and walking about. Trying to make me see every memory that was sliding out of his mind at that moment. I think it was important that I didn't miss any details. I think those details were precious to him, for some reason. He wanted me to pay attention. He kept talking about Lucy and a couple of other people, whose names I can't recall, but I'm pretty sure he repeated them a few times. OK, a blank spot here. Something about travelling... The dishwasher… dresses... God... Random stuff. Wait! That's when something changed.

    Ah, I'm telling you it was a dream, that's why the atmosphere keeps changing in my mind. Thank God, we neither changed locations in there nor did people popped in out of nowhere... you know all those non-linear weird dream routes. Nothing of the sort. It was just Alex talking to me, simple as that.

    Back to the change I told you about... Well, I felt a considerable amount of stress, like the room was suddenly smaller and the oxygen levels were lower than before. I think Alex felt the same, but he carried on with his story. After a while it all went black.

    What do you think? It must have been a dream, everything fits... I don't want to do anything now; maybe it's wrong that I'm even speaking to you. Dreams fade away quickly and I'm so afraid that in a couple of hours I won't remember. It wasn't a nightmare, despite the awful part where Alex & I both felt this pressure on us. Every time I have a nightmare I want to wake up, but I can't find the way out. This time I didn't want to - I wanted to stay. I'll go and take my notebook and write down the bits I still remember. My only concern now is finding the way in. The door is still there and I won't take my eyes of it. What am I, a fool? Of course I'll take notes. Save what I can. I'll keep the picture clear and what I lived, alive.

    I'm messing with you. With my head too. I was sitting in my chair, but I wasn't tired enough tonight to actually fall asleep there. It wasn't a dream, obviously. I wish it were though! Because sometimes people have the same dreams. I'd give anything to give you all the chance to see what I saw.

    Don't let it slip away. Say hi to Alex from me. Would you please tell him "Thank you" too? Now, when you get back, you might be as troubled and excited as I am. As confused, optimistic, sad, astonished, changed, enlightened and grateful. Don't be scared, we'll figure it out. We can't know everything now but it doesn't mean we won't know one day... I believe we will.

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