Paranaut
Joined Jan 2011
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Ratings3.7K
Paranaut's rating
Reviews8
Paranaut's rating
There's a line dialogue that spells out pretty firmly what's wrong with this movie. When Han finds out Chewbacca's name and announces that he's not going to be saying that whole thing every time. Chewbacca has three syllables. It isn't exactly a tongue twisting nightmare. Did this really have to be said? Typical of the writing of this film. Spell it out, all of it. Leave no mystery as to every aspect of the Han Solo we already know. And everything follows this same pattern. Here's how he met Chewbacca. Here's how he got his name. Here's how he met Lando. Here's where he got his blaster. Here's how he got the Falcon. Here's why the Falcon has a superior navigation system. Here's the Kessel run. This is not a movie. It's a Wikipedia page, and the plot is pretty much a vehicle to get us to all these points. The books written in the 90s by AC Crispin were way better. Read those. Don't watch this "movie".
Some side notes: 1- The Corellian YT-1300 makes its first appearance (in universe) in Attack of the Clones, two of them actually. They look exactly like the Falcon we all know. The whole "escape pod" thing is BS.
Basically, they tried to sneak another "here's how" in there by pulling one directly out of their rectum.
2- The walls of the Falcon look far too new. I don't buy it. This is only like 10 years before A New Hope. Do Han and Chewbacca team up with Pig Pen at some point?
3 - In the press for this Wiki-film they made a special point in bragging that they were the first to feature a "female" droid. This is BS on many levels. In the first place what is a "female droid"? Droids are AI. They are machines. Is your toaster a dude? No. Secondly, the very first droid we hear speak in Episode 1 has a female voice! Did you not watch your own canon before virtue signaling? Not to mention the waitress droids in Ep 2, the droid that delivered the twins in Ep 3, and countless droids in the Clone Wars. Besides, aren't you assuming R2-D2's gender? That's not very woke of you.
Some side notes: 1- The Corellian YT-1300 makes its first appearance (in universe) in Attack of the Clones, two of them actually. They look exactly like the Falcon we all know. The whole "escape pod" thing is BS.
Basically, they tried to sneak another "here's how" in there by pulling one directly out of their rectum.
2- The walls of the Falcon look far too new. I don't buy it. This is only like 10 years before A New Hope. Do Han and Chewbacca team up with Pig Pen at some point?
3 - In the press for this Wiki-film they made a special point in bragging that they were the first to feature a "female" droid. This is BS on many levels. In the first place what is a "female droid"? Droids are AI. They are machines. Is your toaster a dude? No. Secondly, the very first droid we hear speak in Episode 1 has a female voice! Did you not watch your own canon before virtue signaling? Not to mention the waitress droids in Ep 2, the droid that delivered the twins in Ep 3, and countless droids in the Clone Wars. Besides, aren't you assuming R2-D2's gender? That's not very woke of you.
All the 1 Star reviews... wow. Should people this dumb be allowed to write reviews?
This is a masterpiece. Period.
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