quicksticks

I LIKE my films just the way I like my women — with a personality just as sexy as the way she looks. 300: Rise of an Empire is a girl I would date, but wouldn't take home to my parents as the film doesn't quite live up its predecessor, Zack Snyder's 300. Back in 2006, the testosterone-injected 300 was a massive early summer triumph, winning the hearts of the audience and box office and spawning a mild case of cult following. Based on the graphic novel of the same name by Frank Miller, 300 was shot entirely on a green screen and gave new height to visual effects in Hollywood. 300: Rise of an Empire acts as both a prequel and sequel to its bigger brother as the events in the second film take place before, during and after the events of King Leonidas's fight against the Persians during the battle of Thermopylae with just "300" Spartan warriors. The plot revolves around Greek general Themistocles (played by Aussie actor Sullivan Stapleton) who leads an Athenian army against the gigantic invading Persian navy with the backing of their God King Xerxes. The Persian force is led by Artemisia — played by the bewitching French beauty Eva Green — who acts the chief villain throughout the film, making Xerxes take back seat as the central protagonist. Green delivers an over-the-top performance and at first I thought her character was written by a 30-year-old living in his parents' outside room, but when her back story is revealed we see her motivation for being such a damaged anti-hero. Green isn't the world's best actress and she isn't going to be nominated for any awards, but she does a reasonable job of playing a female lead in a big budget action film, and she still remains my best Bond girl ever. Gerard Butler's sandals were big shoes to fill and Stapleton — with his Aussie accent showing up now and again — also surprised me with bold acting ability in his first lead role in a major production. Lena Headey, chiefly known for her role as the character you love to hate in Game of Thrones, Cersei Lannister, plays Queen Gorgo and provides the narration for the film. Unfortunately, she has little screen time which is a shame as Headey is not only an excellent actress but is possibly one of the most striking beauties in Hollywood. 300: Rise of an Empire isn't profound, nor is it going to gather the same cult following the first 300 captured. It is there for just pure entertainment. It is incredible in its visual aspects with a strong emphasis on the extreme slow motion fight scenes, but lacks any depth in the dialogue. All of the fight scenes take place on the rough and unforgiving ocean, and just like that, the film comes in waves from exciting to average. There are some really powerful scenes with warriors slicing and dicing their enemies into next Sunday, but then the film often degrades with a really lazy method of storytelling. 300: Rise of an Empire isn't a period piece and has little or no historic accuracy, but the film is a good two-hour escape from the seriousness of Blade Runner dominating the TV.

IN 1987, the Bangles dominated the airways with their hit single Walk Like an Egyptian, the Simpsons are seen for the first time on TV, my parents were blessed by the birth of me and audiences were treated to a film experience that they hadn't quite seen before in the form of Paul Verhoeven's RoboCop. Now the studio executives in Hollywood — fixated on the "rebooting" franchises — have taken it upon themselves to target RoboCop to a wider audience, dropping the age restriction from an R18 to a 10-12 certificate. The film is set in the year 2028 in Detroit, and America is the only country in the world not allowed to use robotic cops on the street. OmniCorp — the company which manufactures the mechanised police officers — are desperately trying to overturn a state bill that prohibits the use of these new-age law enforcers. When honest and dedicated-to-the-job policeman Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) is nearly killed by a car explosion, the massive tech corporation uses this as an opportunity for them to humanise the robotic cops by fusing Murphy — well what's left of him — with a machine. And the result is RoboCop, but it's not that simple. OmniCorp uses one of their chief doctors, Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman), to aid Murphy in his transition to half-man, half-robot and with pressure from OmniCorp owner Raymond Sellars (Michael Keaton), the good doctor resorts to some questionable work ethics. The relationship between Oldman's and Keaton's characters really enhances the story and carries the plot along at a captivating pace. I asked myself why a "big budget" action film with such a cult following was not released in the summer. And the answer was revealed after watching it. The film just doesn't have the calibre to be deserving of a summer release date. There are a good few action scenes, but they are plain down average, with sequences that we have been accustomed to in standard action films. However, there is one scene — where Robo­Cop takes out giant dog-like mechs — which stands out from the rest, but even when it's over, you are not going to remember it when driving home from the theatre. The film's only saving grace is the drama segments, which revolve around the moral dilemma that Oldman's character is put into and the psychological challenge that Murphy endures during his transformation into Robo­Cop. The acting — with particularly Oldman and Keaton stealing every scene that they are in — is top-notch all round, but it is not enough to put RoboCop in the same light as the original. The film is like eating a three-course meal and still feeling hungry.

AN international spy thriller with a character-driven narrative and a plot relevant to our modern day are the crucial elements to give this well-balanced blockbuster the backbone for some decent viewing. In Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, the genesis of Tom Clancy's much adored creation makes its way to the big screen with Chris Pine taking control of yet another one of Hollywood's big characters. Kenneth Branagh — director of Thor and known for his performances in and direction of Shakespeare plays on both screen and stage — directs a stellar cast in the first screenplay not to be based on a Clancy novel. Jack Ryan is an undercover CIA agent working on Wall Street and it is his job to monitor irregularities in international money trading that could eventually lead to terrorist funding. When he notices an anomaly happening with a Russia-based company, he is sent on a mission to Moscow to uncover a potential threat against the United States economy. In the past, the character of Jack Ryan has been depicted by Hollywood old-timer Harrison Ford and Alec Baldwin and an attempt to "reboot" the character in the 2002 Sum of all Fears with Ben Affleck, was neither a hit nor a miss. Hopefully, Mr Affleck can put in a star performance in 2016 when he dons the cape and cowl. After giving a commanding rendition as Captain Kirk in Star Trek into Darkness last year, Pine once again puts in a solid performance of carrying a well-educated Jack Ryan throughout the film. His character is damaged, untrusting, and fragile and puts his country before anything. One scene that really leaves audiences with discomfort is when Jack Ryan makes his first kill. It is brutal, effective and realistic — reminding me of the cold opener in Casino Royale. Kevin Costner gets a large chunk of screen time acting as Jack Ryan's mentor, while the beautiful Keira Knightley shines as the girlfriend — but is sometimes annoying with her fake American accent. And then we have Branagh, who plays the good, old-fashioned Russian tough guy antagonist. Putting it quite simply: Branagh is brilliant. This is not an action film. It is an espionage spy thriller with a few action scenes. So if you are expecting a film with more explosions than dialogue, you might be disappointed — it is directed by Kenneth Branagh after all. Just like Skyfall, the action scenes aren't anything new or breathtaking, but the tension and intensity built up on screen will keep audiences content. If the Dishfire reports are getting too real for you, head down to your local theatre and watch Jack Ryan take on the international villains instead.