amrshehata85

Here is the story: Six high-school students visit a house for Halloween, only to find themselves trapped inside under the wrath or spell of a witch. The acting, the script, the storyline (or lack of one) are all morbidly poor.

There is zero exposition about the house set in place before the action as a means of giving the viewers an idea of why the witch resides there and why she preys on anyone that enters her abode. The house itself is not creepy whatsoever (more on that later), and there is absolutely no character development given about any of the cast members' roles that I wonder(ed) why I should care if any of them dies. I did not relate to any of them, and I found myself not rooting for any of them either.

And now ... onto the worst quality of the film: the acting. All six teens' acting is so wooden that an experienced woodpecker would fail to chuck wood off their performances. For instance, a teenage girl gets one of her fingers completely chopped off, only to talk normally literally a few minutes later. Really? Another girl sees in full sight a ghost or phantom on a seat, but, again, a few minutes later, she acts like it is just an everyday experience. Yes, yes, very believable. A boy finds a large part of his forehead is suddenly scarred, as if maggots are eating him from the inside out. His reaction? He looks at his reflection and then just sighs.

The dialogue also has so many cliched lines - most of which break the fundamental rule of literary and visual arts of 'show, don't tell' - which makes the script look like it had been written in about 25 minutes tops (okay, maybe 30 minutes). Here are some of the lines the actors say throughout the film:

• It's so dark. (Telling.)
• It's so creepy in here. (Too telling, as the writer and director probably hadn't known how to stage a creepy setting, so they have to tell the viewers 'Hey, this house is scary.')
• You're such a jerk!
• Get a room.
• This place just keeps getting creepier. (Telling, just in case the viewers hadn't noticed the pace is creepy in the first place.)

The only horrifying aspect of this film is that it is horrifyingly bad. If you are a masochist or have nothing else to do, watch the film, even though I am sure hearing yourself breathe is far more entertaining than seeing this hogwash.

Every single episode and story in this series is fake. These people claiming they've been mauled by various wild animals don't have a single scar on them. Some even point to their arms or necks during the show and say 'I could feel my bones crushing' when there is no one cut even visible. In one of the episodes, a guy says 'and there it was, a fully grown 400-pound grizzly bear'. One, grizzly bears can weigh 50% more than this; and, two, how did he know it was 400 pounds? My point is, every story uttered in this hogwash is nothing but a script masquerading as a real-life account. Even Urban Tarzan seems more realistic.

You want to see what a wild animal attack really looks like? Look up Charla Nash (she survived a chimp attack who happened to be her neighbour's pet). A bear could kill a chimp with one swipe of its arms, but, surprisingly, all those 'attacked' by bears in the show have perfect bodies. And there are those who have been attacked by hyenas, wolves and even sharks! Sharks? Yet they show zero signs of scars or bruising? Yes, yes, very believable. And I am a werewolf.

I am not saying humans cannot survive being mauled by various animals, but it would leave long-lasting effects on one's physical body that onlookers would cringe from the view. Please show some respect to viewers and to wildlife alike, and stop producing shows to generate money that are based on lies.

Okay, so we have a 70-80-minute movie. And the script and whole story would only do for a 15-minute one. What should we do? Let's see. Yes, let's have the characters drive, walk and canoe most of the time. And let us not forget to add some horror score even if what is on screen is only a tree or a flower - just so that our viewers would not forget this is a horror movie.

Well, the only horrific element in this crapastrophic movie is the acting. And, yes, it was that horrific. I watched halfway through this movie with my nephew, and we couldn't get past the 40-minute mark - since, by then, there was nothing but characters walking, driving and talking. There was not a single interesting aspect of this snooze fest. There is no story, let alone a backstory, no scares and no chemistry between the two leads.

To add insult to injury, whenever the female protagonist saw the 'ghost' - which was definitely nothing more than a 5-minute job done on Paintbrush - she acts like she hadn't seen a darn thing. Hogwash! We actually got to see that she saw the ghost in full view, once for more than a few seconds. Does the director really want to treat his viewers as if they were dumb? Does he think we are as shallow as the abomination that is the script - or lack thereof - he is working with? Does he not know what horror flicks are made of?

There are no words in the English language and not enough space in the universe to state just how terrible a movie this is. I am sure watching a vegetable rotting or paint drying would be much more fun, and a far better investment of your time, than seeing this.