itai-orion

Take an interesting subject matter, cast a superb, diverse group of actors, introduce original insight into an industry we are all curious about. Sounds promising, no?

Sadly, this Hollywood insider comedy-satire is neither interesting nor funny. It seems to have a lot to say, but ultimately says very little. The main character is introduced to us as a man with immense power, who then proceeds to do his best to convince us otherwise during the entirety of the film. A mover-and-shaker who is constantly stopped in his tracks and who's shaking is only in his own boots.

If the movie's message is to convince us not to pursue a career in Hollywood, good job. Otherwise, I just don't see the point. The plot leads us no-where, chugging along until it arrives at its extremely unlikely conclusion, which even then does nothing to resolve our storyline.

De Niro is impeccable as a producer, Catherine Keener is perfect as a studio head, and Sean Penn (who plays himself) is naturally beyond any reproach. John Turturro does hi thing, and Bruce Willis steals the show. Unfortunately, the film somehow manages to miscast Stanley Tucci, one of the most versatile actors working today. Robin Wright is also there, but is never given a chance to do much. The same goes for Kristen Stewart. A whole lot of talent in one picture, none of which is fully present (with the exception of Willis).

Watching this film, I found myself glancing at my wrist, wishing for it to be over but not suffering enough to turn it off. When the ending finally did roll around I found myself sorely disappointed with the lackluster and hollow message we are left with. I think perhaps this movie could have either listened to its own characters more often, or maybe less so. Not sure which...

In 2013, the gaming world was granted a worthy successor and reboot to the Tomb Raider property. This re-imagining of Lara Croft allowed the player to feel her growth and progress, gaining skills and confidence. Even at her most vulnerable, this character is charismatic, knowledgeable and courageous.

Fast-forward to 2018, and a similar reboot attempted to do the same to the film franchise, to invigorate the action-adventure legacy of Indiana Jones, to allow for an action movie with a strong female hero to take the audience to the realm of wonder and awe.

If only it had lived up to the hype and expectation... Unfortunately and for reasons unknown, instead of doing a straight adaptation to the powerful story conveyed in the game on which it is based, the screenwriters veered away from the super(natural) elements of the plot and filled in the holes with cliched and overdone movie themes - the missing parent, the bland villain, the comic-relief sidekick whose only purpose is to allow the hero to further the plot....

Certain scenes in the film have been adapted directly from the game, but without the involvement and control inherent in an active medium (as in the game), we are left watching the world's dullest playthrough of that incredible gaming experience.

Alicia Vikander embodies Lara Croft as the reboot games envisions her. She brings power and confidence exactly as the role demands. Her early moments in the film's urban setting are the most exciting. Strange that in a movie featuring the Japanese goddess of Death, the most exciting action sequence is a bike race. After a weak opening voice-over, our main character is revealed in all her talent, only to be gutted as the movie moves on.

If you come to this movie expecting a silly action flick, you will be disappointed. If you come expecting a supernatural adventure, you will be disappointed. If you want to see a fantastic video game with cinematic gameplay translated to the screen, no luck either.

I do not know who this film was made for, but I think it played it safe to a fault - supplying us with a forgettable and dull film featuring a weakened heroine who is constantly saved by plot convenience and rarely relying on skill.

I really cannot express how disappointing it is to have a film with such talented young actors and have it squandered on this piece of film-garbage. There is a whole slew of supporting cast that deserve so much better than to appear in such an uninspired sequence of events. Every character is a stereotypical punch-line waiting to happen. Even an appearance from the legendary John C. Mcginley's Dr. Cox Whistle is not enough to save this plodding, depressing mess.

Seeing Walter White out of work is about as thrilling as remembering that he used to be Malcolm in the Middle's dad.

I do, however, want to commend the filmmakers for attempting (admittedly with poor results) to address the frustration and actual difficulties faced by today's generation, and realise that it isn't all about being spoiled... Until that Hollywood ending shows us it is just that.