robert-259-28954
Joined Jan 2012
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.
Badges5
To learn how to earn badges, go to the badges help page.
Reviews136
robert-259-28954's rating
Even Kurt Russell and all the CGI effects in the world couldn't rescue his Hollywood holiday turkey. Take every dumb Christmas cliche, add dozens of utterly implausible events and circumstances, and you have the makings of this totally uneventful pile of yuletide tripe. Watching movies like this only makes me appreciate the truly good Christmas movies that came before, starting with the 1951 Dickens' classic, "Scrooge" starring the greatest exponent of the role to ever live, the great Alistair Sim. Then, they naturally made a sequel to this colossal waste of time to line their pockets with, of which I am sure to miss.
If you like these two actors, this movie is a "must." I always think of Dietrich as a German chantuese, but she was so utterly engaging and beliveable in the part of a traveling gypsy woman that I was utterly enthralled. She managed to be both sexy, hilarious, and downright earthy, all at the same time. Don't think for a moment that Marlene couldn't pull off this role, combined with Ray Milland's "oh, so proper" Englishman as the ideal film foil they were absolute MAGIC together. Once you see this entertaining tale of pre-war excitement and romance, you'll never forget it. I've enjoyed it over and over again.
...but once the ship left the port, things rapidly began to go south.
First, the "good stuff." The look of this film was INCREDIBLE, and the selection of the cast equally good. In fact, in the opening salvo I thought this movie could become a modern day classic, particularly with its abundance of incredible set decoration, acting, and camera angles. But the moment the boat hit the sea, the lighting became so dark... I mean LITERALLY dark, that most of the film was enclosed in such lack of sufficient light that it might has been entirely shot in a landlocked closet. In short, you couldn't see a damned thing!! Here's the problem. This technique, used by amateur filmmakers from the beginning of time to create a sense of dread and foreboding, was used with such stultifying regularity that you missed 99.999% of all the beautiful camera work that characterized the opening sequences. What made this obvious deficit even more puzzling is how utterly nonsensical the rest of this seagoing tale took in its quick trip to the bottom. For example, how could this tightly knit crew NOT have had the common sense to locate the blood sucking monster traveling with them with a simple search of the entire ship, from bow to stern?? With the boatload of tough sailors in attendance and a few simple weapons, they could have easily eliminated the threat within the hour. They never did. This is pure fantasy in its worst possible form.
First, the "good stuff." The look of this film was INCREDIBLE, and the selection of the cast equally good. In fact, in the opening salvo I thought this movie could become a modern day classic, particularly with its abundance of incredible set decoration, acting, and camera angles. But the moment the boat hit the sea, the lighting became so dark... I mean LITERALLY dark, that most of the film was enclosed in such lack of sufficient light that it might has been entirely shot in a landlocked closet. In short, you couldn't see a damned thing!! Here's the problem. This technique, used by amateur filmmakers from the beginning of time to create a sense of dread and foreboding, was used with such stultifying regularity that you missed 99.999% of all the beautiful camera work that characterized the opening sequences. What made this obvious deficit even more puzzling is how utterly nonsensical the rest of this seagoing tale took in its quick trip to the bottom. For example, how could this tightly knit crew NOT have had the common sense to locate the blood sucking monster traveling with them with a simple search of the entire ship, from bow to stern?? With the boatload of tough sailors in attendance and a few simple weapons, they could have easily eliminated the threat within the hour. They never did. This is pure fantasy in its worst possible form.