just_in_case

I wont lie Willow is one of my favorite films of all time. It could be called a childrens fantasy made by adults for adults. The acting, music and story are superb.

This is the opposite of any of that. Its so strange to watch. Its like one of those generic spot filler YA fantasy movies thats just a vehicle for some disney star, but even in that context the writing pacing and action are so bland. Like Twilight bland. If nothing else they went super cheap on the writing. Its like an intern chained to a desk wrote this in 20 minutes and the cast are just collecting paycheck.

Really disappointed that Disney would take an IP like Willow and dump out schedule filler trash like this.

I wish I'd have known it was the "Art of Self-Defense" guy going into this. I was expecting something vey different from the trailer. Something more interesting or exciting. Even knowing that now I still dont think it comes close to measuring up.

The premise is true to the synopsis. Sarah is dying and decides to get cloned, but upon learning she wont be dying, in order to live she has to kill her clone in ritual combat. Sounds really cool. Its not. It's drab and boring, not accidently, intentionally. Everyone talks like robots and you're supposed to be only amused by the general absurdity of it all. Its barely longer than a short film, so that is literally all of it.

The problem is that it's just not funny or interesting. There's no highs or lows here. There's no humor in 90% of the film. Theres exactly 2 gags and the rest is played painfully straight. It's hard to describe but imagine a wes anderson movie except theres nothing hipster, bizarre or ridiculous. Its very very subdued, cloyingly desperate for you to think it's funny because of that. It reminded me of the Monty Python sketch "I came for an argument", except played straight and there's no punchlines or audience surrogate and you're supposed to laugh at the idea of such a facility. You get what its "trying" to do, but instead of laughing you just roll your eyes and feel bored.

Whats really disappointing is that I liked the "Art of Self-defense". It was pretty wacky and out there. There was some tension, hilarity and twists. Remove all that and this is what you have.

I assume this wes anderson-esque monotone absurdist comedy is this writer/director style otherwise Id say this movie would have worked better if the characters all acted like real people. If it "needs" to have this tone then it needed to be much more interesting or ridiculous. Like have them hunting each other throughout the movie instead of it mostly being people sitting around being awkward robots.

I'd give it a lower score but theres a few scenes I briefly found "fun". Especially when Karen Gillian gets angry and actually shows some emotion. I wanted much more of that. Otherwise this doesn't rate slowburn. Its just boring.

I hate doling out 1/10 because it's generally kind of childish, but I have to here because I would actively tell people to avoid this one.

This isn't really a movie in the traditional sense. It's an allegory trying to convey or explore the experience becoming an adult. As the premise states a sociopathic or perhaps overly coddled rich kid dumps his family in a hole for the purpose of exploring the freedom of adulthood.

That's fine, but there's no real payoff here, nothing is learned in any meaningful way. It, almost insultingly, includes a side story which also doesn't payoff, but instead vapidly goes "look look isn't adulthood scary!?"

Yes it's scary. Duh. The problem here is there's nothing after it throws the allegory in the audiences face. I can't help but feel the writer had a half-baked idea and couldn't come up with the punchline. Instead the movie meanders along with drawn out scenes of people eating and robot dialog until it ends out of sheer boredom.

This one is strictly for those that can enjoy films that are pure atmosphere and do not need substance.