joegoda

Now, be warned. I am an adult, by which I mean I am over 21. In fact, I'm near 60. And this movie is aimed at children. So, when I give it a craptastic rating, it's because I may not have the same humor level as a 5 year old, regardless of what my wife says. The beginning seemed to both of us, the wife and me, to be telling children that in order to be successful and rich, you must be a wealthy man and no woman would be interested in any man who wasn't. It's about a boy, probably around 8 or 7 or some Jimmy Neutron age (ah! That's where I've seen the animation style) who is in love (REALLY?) with a girl around the same age. His inability to say what he wants to ('Sue, I love you, will you marry me?') is what this whole shebang is about.

Scene change to ... oh, I don't know.. 20 years into the future? The time line wasn't explained till way later. Our hero is living in an apartment with a kung-fu monkey, a pig in a cape, and what looks like a frog with ears whose name is Okra. What the what?

Oh... Oh... I get it... they're robots. They work at an amusement park, and hero boy is the guy who invented these autonomous, self aware robots who can smell and eat and fart and blow bubbles. Wow! The future looks so cool!

Okay... that's all I'm gonna say about the plot and pretty much all I'm gonna say about the movie. At this point, I left and watched another episode of House of Cards, just to get the Ick out of my brain.

The wife wanted to take a nap so I put on something boring and innocuous. This movie, for example. So I lied. Sue me. I'm gonna say one more thing about the movie.

There are a few cute moments. Like... umm... James Woods sort of cute. Didn't even recognize the voice, so good on him! I did tear up at the end, but then I'm a sucker for happy endings, even really stupid ones.

Children, especially those who have yet to be fully potty trained, may find this movie partially amusing. Then again, they may just throw their poo at you and ask for something intelligent.

I watched what I felt to be the slowest and worst End of the world Movie EVAR. Yes. E V A R. "Melancholia" is the worst end of the world movie in the history of all the movies I've ever seen about the end of the world. Want to see a movie with Minutes between dialog, some seriously damaged people who just can't cope with life and a movie where EVERY ONE DIES? "Melancholia" is for you. For me, I'll take "Our brother is an Idiot" any day. Hey, maybe it's just not my cup of tea. Kirsten Dunst is in it and shows some nice boobage, but other than that... get drunk, go out with friends and listen to some really loud music. Your money would be better spent. Thank god for fast forward. 2 hrs and 16 minutes condensed into a 15 minute Thank God I didn't pay to see this crap movie.