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firstanold

Joined Jan 2013
Welcome to the new profile
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firstanold's rating
Collateral

S10.E12Collateral

Smallville
7.6
3
  • Mar 27, 2013
  • Ugh. Made me glad Chole's been gone.

    Every time Chloe punned or alliterated I wanted to punch a writer. It was just freaking painful.

    And yes, it's a really blatant rip-off of the matrix, not because of the theme--The old super man series Lois and Clark did a V.R. episode looooong before the matrix was ever around so superman has a pretty solid precedence here--but because of the style. Chloe is dressed like they dressed in the matrix, she has lines similar in style and substance to the matrix (Dorothy, rabbit hole, dreamland, spoken while holding reflective CG objects up to one's face, etc.) and her combat moves are taken right out of the matrix she actually does that one-armed fight scene just like Neo does at the end of the matrix. It was so cheap and predictable--the style similarities were too reminiscent of the matrix, and its scenario, for it to come as even a remote surprise when the big reveal came.

    And I just can't overstate how cringe-inducing Chloe was in this. She was the source of some of the sloppiest homage, puns and rag-newspaper-esque alliteration I've ever seen. just revolting.
    Swear to God, This Time We're Not Kidding

    S4.E3Swear to God, This Time We're Not Kidding

    Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
    7.1
    3
  • Jan 19, 2013
  • It was alright up until the end. Then it really turned to total crap.

    Waiting...

    Waiting...

    6.7
    1
  • Jan 14, 2013
  • Well, at least the title is apt.

    This was a sad, sad excuse for a comedy. These people have no idea how a joke works. I was told this movie was good by a friend, who I have since realized has no taste, so I had some hope for it at the time.

    It starts out promisingly. A bunch of--fairly likable--friends slogging through work in a family style restaurant - good.

    Then -SPOILER ALERT- (ha.) they reveal that the staff has this game where they try to show one another their scrotum by surprise, "okay," I thought, "this is going to be the set-up to an incredibly funny joke."

    Then they escalate by revealing that the staff has this game where they try to show one another their scrotum by surprise, "okay..." I thought, "this seems familiar. But maybe the joke is going to be SO good that they wanted to reestablish the set up so no one would miss it."

    And then finally, FINALLY, the punch line: They reveal that the staff has this game where they try to show one another their scrotum by surprise.

    Yeeeeeaah. So I spent the whole movie "Waiting..." for a punch line and not even cracking a smile as the hope slowly drained from me. Then they wrap the movie up with this shitty coming of age BS that could have been ripped from any other movie, book, or TV show about this age group.

    This was absolutely pathetic. The movie had one half-formed joke and they repeated it over, and over, and over. There was also some utterly predictable cr*p about messing with customers and how hard it is to be young that was totally forgettable. And, contrary to what most of the reviews say, completely inaccurate. No one messes with food that gets sent back because you can get the kind of lawsuit that will leave you permanently bankrupt from that kind of sh*t. Every other shred of half-hearted observational humor was so obvious that it wasn't funny.

    I am from this age group. I am a bar tender. I am the target demographic. This move did not appeal to me in the least. Maybe it's because I keep my scrotum to myself of because I had no poorly written angst about whether to go to university.

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