jake fakes a suicide francis starts a fire fence
the cops get stopped to a bop that at best's intense
jeep cherokee ORV that's for off the road
now it's full of bullet holes get to the beach and off they go
andy's at cheerleader practice perfecting pyramids
mouth is with his dad mad jack tv gets smacked still hearing it
data's in the junkyard it's the best for testing instruments
stef's lobster bobbin not a hobby shes from fishermen
keep it going lawrence cohen is the hero of this banger
hawaiian shirt plaid pants taking a chance on cliffhanger
pizza is in season he could even eat his weight in it
chase goes by the window shake explodes and he goes aw shit
time to tell a tale hike to mikey's where the goonies go
goonies as goon docks as in the boon docks where the buoys float
jerk alert feelings hurt mouth demands i shuffle truf
goldberg gets the gate to open guess this guy is good enough

hook
name is chunk
im known to fuck shit up
i'll rearrange your junk
i aint no punk i'm good enough
my friends say shut up chunk
what the fuck? fuck that shit! i'm just a kid!

i proceed to tell my crew all the about the hot pursuit
not that they believe me because i've been known to stretch the truth
like the time i saved those seniors or the pizza i consumed
like the time the king of pop had to stop and drop a deuce
data makes an entrance david loses his erections
i make a quick correction now he pees in wrong directions
chunk chock full of chips need subtitles for translation
they say im full of shit but it's just imagination
it's rainy and we're panicked cuz foreclosure's in the clouds
mikey's dad has got an attic and it's where we're not allowed
it's rotten with forgotten dreams and laser beams in balls
it's filled with ancient artifacts like maps of port of call
i accidentally break it then we take it on our bikes
i'm whining and im crying cuz it's not what lawrence likes
the rocks and the lighthouse match the holes in a doubloon
we're headed to our doom and it isn't even noon

hook

they serve tongue and rusty water it's a violating venue
i see bullet holes and body bags no nuggies on the menu
we pretend to leave the lighthouse but we sneak back when they leave
we find a secret passage and ice cream that i can eat
they got mississippi mud they got chocolate eruption
got a guy who's frozen stiff im supposing by assumption
the posse takes the passage ample ass is now in danger
i hate darkness i hate nature i get captured by these strangers
they activate a blender and they tell me spill my guts
cop to countless crimes committed i admit it i'm a putz
fake vomit on the audience they all cough up their concessions
me and jacob make up he's impressed by my confessions
there's a monster that i'll foster but at first i find him frightening
we're entrapped we're enticed by a chocolate cake with icing
we bond over a baby ruth connect on deeper levels
fight fire on the inferno where we free our friends from devils

hook

mikey and the tykes boldly buccaneered the bank
thats when they captured and were forced to walk the plank
we scampered up the mast and that's when we called the cast
captains chunk and blood would commandeer the stranded craft
sloth saved mouth and stef though they all went in the water
had his druthers with his brothers cuz his mother had no daughters
then only ma remained the one who kept him in his chains
so he dropped her like she dropped him back when he was but a babe
data used some dynamite from chester copper's cave
but a rock blocked our escape pirates trapped inside a grave
sloth moved the rock like superman and suddenly we're saved
said from his crotch i love you sloth i won't forget your face
the beach police on atv's had finally found the goobers
their parents had been worried sick nevermind the movers
parents brought me domino's cuz they all know i am famished
i love you sloth come live with us i don't care if you're damaged