a sense of home

"there is nothing

half so pleasant as

coming home again."

-margaret elizabeth sangster

in the midst of a flurry of rust dyeing for new projects and my new etsy store, i find myself drawn to my collection of wip's and ufo's. not in melancholic yearning, but as drawn to old friends whom i've not seen in a long time.

there is a comfort in knowing they are there. waiting. ready to pick up where we left off. harboring the glowing embers of fond memories. memories that rise with open arms and envelope you in a warm sense of home.

it's heartening to know these friends are there. will be there. whenever needed. even when they are temporarily misremembered...

namasté

the heat is on...

it's amazing what you can get a cow to do for an ice cube on a hot day like today! the weather has been surreal here lately under the big sky. raging thunder storms one minute and burning sun the next! now that that i've cut my hours at work down to a normal 40 hours a week, i thought i'd be getting all kinds of projects done...but mostly it's too hot to do much of anything. or too wet to get outside!

even though i feel like i haven't managed to get much done, i have been working a few more of those random neutral and rusted backgrounds, still with no particular vision in mind for them. though, a few of them have begun whispering ever so faintly about their own dreams...

between the odd stitching and stolen moments in the woodshop re-envisioning an old 1880's coffin-style violin case into something that creates music rather than just holding it, i've been trying to catch up on household chores that have been neglected for far too long because of work. nothing too exciting...though, i must say, it is lovely not to have enough cobwebs hanging around to decorate a haunted house or two!

namaste'

my lovely bones

"these were the lovely bones

that had grown around my absence..."

- alice sebold

so much of my time has been wrapped up in music of late. exploring this new (to me) world of cigar box guitars and their link to depression era delta blues. so much so that it felt almost foreign to my fingers to pick up a needle and thread and begin chanting upon cloth once again. almost. but memories have a way of ebbing back into place once we are receptive to them again...

oh so long ago (there's a blog entry somewhere about it, but i haven't taken the time to hunt it down) i mentioned having this enormous collection of vintage linens. pillow cases. dresser scarves. chair leaves. candle mats. kitchen linens. i had been contemplating using them somehow in a new interpretation of a crazy quilt. perhaps there is a predominantly white crazy quilt or two out there somewhere. i'm quite certain that a quick google search would probably spit back an endless flow of images (google seems to be good at that). but i don't want to contaminate my idea with someone else's so i will resist the urge to investigate further. instead, i simply acknowledge the old axiom that there are no new ideas is most likely true and forge on ahead nonetheless.

this is the beginning of my first block for what will become a large shelter cloth. it will span generations of expression in that it will be comprised of the daily toil of countless stitchers from unknown generations, cobbled together by my own vision. i'm calling it (for the moment at least) my lovely bones and will be infusing it with tangent images and design. as many of you know, bones have long been one of my own personal symbols of great meaning and endless whispering... i will be dispensing with "traditional" crazy quilting techniques (with the exception of embellished seams) and utilizing contemporary boro, or slow cloth, techniques. building layers of cloth fragments one upon another until the shelter cloth is of the size and weight desired. allowing the layers of time to provide its own density and warmth.

for now, however, i must get my head back under the steam cloth for i can not breathe (how dare this cold strike me down in the hour of my inspiration!).

namaste'

fragments of word and cloth

i have a mind to embark upon a new journey. a journey of cloth. and words. i am done with attempting to coerce myself into completing cloths that simply don't have their heart in being completed. that's not to say that they will never find themselves finished. it just means that i am tired of beating myself into submission to try and finish something that isn't ready to complete its cycle of metamorphosis. to this end, i have designated my great-great-uncle's old steam trunk as home for wayward cloths and will continue to visit, live with, and work on (as they allow) on my various creations of cloth and fibre, have pulled my travelling boots on and pointed them in a new direction.

i have an extensive collection of thoughts and words. my own. those of others both known and unknown. while sitting by the fire and allowing my shoulders and neck time to heal this past week, i had a thought or two that ultimately lead me to an idea. one where fragments of word and cloth come together and instill deeper thought by their seemingly incomplete natures.

there have been many whispers bantered about in mind with regards to what will be done with these fragments. incorporate them into something more? or simply allow them to remain in remnant form? i imagine the answers to these whispered wonderings will emerge at a much later time...

in the meantime, the fragments will flow and manifest and simply be allowed to be what they choose to be. transforming a seemingly impossible situation into a very possible one!

namaste'

kantha commencement

here you can see the slightly different coloring of the jean piece that i have slipped inside the frazzled cuff. i started working the kantha stitches in a hand-dyed indigo cotton thread, but it just disappeared into the denim and hated to waste the thread for something that wouldn't be visible. so i started over in some heavy vintage cotton thread instead. i'm really liking this so far. 


i thought about changing direction with the stitching and creating a pattern, but decided i'd rather keep this one simple. besides, i want to add some more boro patches to it as well and don't want it to start looking too messy. most likely won't be a "plain" boro patch either... i'm thinking skull shaped or something else different and unexpected at the ankle in more contrasting denim on one leg. perhaps a bone or something else on the other? or a simple geometric?


i'm off to a good start. slow going since denim is so thick...and two layers of denim thicker still...but going nonetheless! i could kiss whomever invented thimbles!


namaste'

magic diary monday

not moving forward. not moving backward. just jumping in sideways. . .

it's all too easy to get yourself bogged down in the minutia of everyday concerns. like a crow lost in the euphoria of finding so many sparklies that he just can't figure out which one to grab first, knowing full well the limitations of his beak!

several months ago, i embarked on jude hill's most amazing whispering series yet, the magic diaries cloth whispering series. last month began part 2 of the series. part 2????  wait! i haven't even begun needle chanting my way through part 1 yet!!! sure, i've been reading along, listening to the sound bytes, watching the vid clips, entertaining ideas, daydreaming about fantastical magic diary cloths... but i've had to limit my participation to...well..none! which is entirely strange for me. i'm an immensely social being and to not interact is...is...as odd as weird exercising poodles (and this is absolutely surreal!).  

so, in an effort to get back on track, yet not be so ferociously behind, i've decided to jump in sideways. i have this idea of taking a vintage quilt...one in which i can find little to admire...and use it as the backdrop for my own spin on the magic diary cloth. i've seen so many amazing things manifesting in the workshop already! so many ideas. directions. but being one who tends to listen to drummers that others rarely hear, i had to come up with something different...yet attempt to maintain the essence of the magic diary cloth. i don't know if i will succeed. or if i can even find myself liking anything that manifests from this hideous old quilt! but i'm willing to try...

first, some ground rules (which, for those of you who know me, will probably be broken soon enough):

1. utilize this unfortunate twin sized thrifted quilt as the foundation and stage for my magic diary cloth.

2. maintain, as best as possible, the integrity of jude's shared ideas, techniques and visions for the magic diary cloth, yet stay true to my own, oft times warped, artistic view.

3. allow the deformed creature that is the salvaged quilt a certain amount of presence in the finished cloth (how much, you may well ask? i have no idea...but my idea is to have at least some of the quilt's personality radiate through the transformation).

4. utilize, as much as possible, salvaged materials to express my ideas through this cloth building experience.

5. participate in the amazing community that jude has founded through the whispering series itself and its forum.

6. document the transformation here with weekly updates each monday. monday. moon day. a touchstone that bespeaks of jude to me and therefore relevant in my thinking on this cloth experience.

that's it for the moment. i am quite certain new ground rules will introduce themselves as i delve deeper. i am also quite certain that there will be pieces that will need to be picked up along the way....

and now, i'm headed into the studio to hack that obnoxious machine stitched binding from the edge of the elephant cloth! it will do little more than the torn burlap sack did for the elephant man....but it will be a start.

namaste'

a new obsession

imagine my unexpected joy at finding such a treasure at the local thrift shop on my way home from work this morning...and for only $25 no less! except for the small broken bit on the back rest, the wood is in amazingly perfect shape, right down to the wood wheels. the cushion springs are also in incredible condition.  obviously, the upholstery needs a total redo, though there is a wondrous, faded vintage floral on the bottom that i believe i shall salvage for my clothwork (i know...pics, please!...i will get to them later...for the moment, the batteries in my camera have died). whomever owned this lovely before it found its unfortunate way to the thrift shop obviously loved and cherished it for many years!

this will be one of my favorite new obsessions, of course! some years ago, my folks bought me a luxurious scroll saw for xmas (that i simply *had* to have or i was gonna *die*!) that still hasn't been out of the box. i do believe, however, that i now have an unprecedented reason to get it out and set up! that little panel on the back should be a breeze to duplicate with the scroll saw and a little hand carving.

then i'll want to tighten up the support bands under the springs, check to make sure none of them need to be re-wrapped, and then decide on the cushion materials. of course, at the moment, i'm thinking kantha stitched vintage sari scraps! or perhaps she'll want something a little more stately and subdued? japanese boro stitched fabrics maybe? i've have a delightful stash of vintage silk kimono bits that would be absolutely exotic and lovely on this chair!

oh, the possibilities!!! but where to start?!? wood? cloth? well, either way will have to wait until tomorrow in any case as i'm working a night shift again tonight for someone who couldn't get out of their driveway through the snow...

namaste'

climbing. and an unexpected visitor.

while working the long NOC shift last night, i had plenty of time to contemplate grooves and landscapes and such, but not a lot of resources from which to pull creatively. but, being the resourceful, and apparently clothing irreverent, artist that i am, i managed to track down an old discarded indigo shirt. the inner yoke of which harbored the delightful surprise of being a deeper indigo!

encouraged, i went out and dug about in the back of my truck and found that i had managed to leave my thread bucket and a needle book in the back (unconscious foresight?). the thread bucket also harbored a few scraps of vintage drapery backing cotton (one of my favorite backing materials) and an odd scrap of japanese ikat print from an old pair of boxers (remember my wardrobe ravaging trip to boise last year?).

excitedly, i set to ripping sleeves and linings!  the sleeve tore into an odd shape that needed to be squared up into a nice long rectangle. but do i tear it? or pleat it, creating grooves? of course, that was an easy debate. grooves it was! the darker bit of indigo yoke had a date with some cascade dishwashing detergent containing bleach to release a soft blue moon (since these moments of synchronicity only seem to occur once in a blue moon). and soon this long (or would it be wide?) cloth began to manifest its story. the plot of which is still a quiet murmuring in the back of my mind...but will hopefully begin to whisper more clearly soon.

as you can see, there are some hearty grasses sprouting up about the edges of the pleated grooves (the idea of a pleated groove, i like i think, since it suggests the groove has been closed up. breached. conquered. now easily stepped over instead of fallen into). there is a strip of the deeper indigo in the lower left corner that seems to want to become a quiet pond. and the ikat printed boxer scraps are suggesting, perhaps, dark clouds scudding across the sky. it seems there is a tree planted somewhere near the moon, but it has not put in its appearance as yet...though i can hear the whispering promises of its manifestation. clearly, there are miles to stitch and whispers to attend to before this story emerges fully!

all told, it was a productive evening for my needles...

this morning, i was joyfully greeted by a late season visitor, perched triumphantly atop the antenna of my truck, as if to celebrate my break through...and, perhaps, to whisper quietly into my ear of its desire for a home near the emerging pond on my new wide cloth!

namaste'

feathering a heart

"i would rather have eyes that cannot see; 

ears that cannot hear;

lips that cannot speak,

than a heart that cannot love"

-robert tizon

still feathering my heart. digging through scraps and salvage, looking for paisley feathers. have a few more to add and then will probably start tacking them down tonight. then dive into the thread nest to find some appropriate strands.

this piece speaks deeply to my own heart. there is an element of the phoenix inherent here. while broken too many times, it rises to soar, and love, again. and again. the cloth is still whispering. sometimes too quiet to hear clearly unless i hold my breath and concentrate fully. while i may not be clear as to where it will be going, i am quite certain it will unfold as it needs to...

namaste'

tusker moon gets his blossoms

it snowed today. unexpectedly. after two weeks of beautiful weather. a sneaky storm just swept through and dropped wet, cloying snow on our heads.  all day. all evening. it doesn't seem to be anywhere near completing itself and moving on...

so, rather than sleep between shifts (as any reasonable person may have done), i sat and worked on tusker moon. he was whispering too loudly for anyone to sleep anyway! 

i decided he needed a bit more definition, so added some chain stitch. did some random seed stitch grass and then began stitching in the flowers.  i don't think i'm quite done with the flowers and grass yet.  but the moon began whispering in my other ear and it tickled. so i finished rounding her out and then stitched in that whispering mouth and observant eyes. she seems somewhat surprised. perhaps she's never seen an elephant dance before...

namaste'

p.s.  updates may be a bit sporadic for a bit.  the evil monster at&t has bought out alltel and is in the process of screwing up everyone's service!  i end up with server errors more often than i get a signal, so i'll be needing to head into town and sit at the local coffeehouse to get a reliable signal. i'd rather sit at home and stitch my elephants and felines and whatever other critters present themselves amongst my fragments...

tusker moon

thoughts about a disappointing moon loomed. perspective interposed.  how on earth could a moon be disappointing?  played with fragments. created the reflection of a silk moon over a cotton, linen and silk landscape.

when i stepped back to examine what had been needled into existence, an overly cheerful little tusker danced through with whispers of promised flowers tossed into the sky and scattering the grassy ground around him!

in the snippets of time i've managed to grab between shifts, i've found a new friend. a happy little friend. with very large tusks and a penchant for dancing in the moonlight!

it will be fun stitching him down and embroidering in the flying flowers...

namaste'

seeing elephants

we are nearing the annual jaipur elephant festival in rajasthan and it has got me seeing painted elephants!

okay, so that isn't what a "normal" person might spend his afternoons thinking about...but who ever said that i was anything close to "normal"? ha!

i've always wanted to go to rajasthan this time of year and see the painted elephants in person. walk the streets where elephant owners spend weeks decorating their prized pachyderms for the occasion.  but, so far, i've had to content myself with a more vicarious viewing over the past several years. (sigh)

so, in honor of one of the most wonderful festivals of the year (well...that title is purely conjectural since i've yet to be able to actually attend one), i'll be whipping up a pack of pachyderms in cloth this week...

will they be fragments and cloths? pillows? stuffed critters? who knows? i'm not even sure...but i'm rummaging through my fibers and bits and pieces and pulling some wonderful things together to play with!  i'll post some pics tomorrow as they start to take shape...

namaste'

a bit of boro for a broken heart

a final comfort that is small, 

but not cold:

the heart is the only broken 

instrument that works.

- t.e. kalem

this little bit of boro has been pieced together to house my rendition of a movement occurring over in jude hill's advanced boro workshop. a movement of participants creating heart cloths to flutter in the wind this month in honor of valentine's day. there have been many beautiful hearts created and photographed. videoed. i have been dragging my feet. most of these hearts have been woven. or woven into. or onto. but having so many other woven cloths in progress, i wanted to forge ahead and do something a little differently. boro. boro nouvelle. boro différents.  boro moderne.

this is what i have come up with.  a bit of modern boro with a bit of embellishing embroidery.  i have a little pile of fragments that may also find their way onto this tall cloth. as well as some threads that are whispering quietly in the background. longing to play their part. but i think the next visitor to show its face will be the heart. my heart. perhaps broken one too many times, but still bearing wings.  wings that are a little ragged and timeworn. but wings nonetheless.

sometimes i wish i were still a little boy. skinned knees and broken bones are easier to mend than broken hearts.  but jude's whispers of broken glass over on spirit cloth has reminded me that sometimes relationships are better left broken than hurting yourself trying to piece them back together. i keep forgetting that this ache is old and has been let go of a thousand times. somewhere deep inside there must be a part of myself still holding on to the shards. bleeding fingers unwilling to let go of what was. what could have been.  no matter i have let go of it in mind. long ago. perhaps it is because we are much like boro ourselves. covered in patches and tattered fragments. the hole is still there. deep inside. covered. patched. renewed. masked. mended. but it is still there. a part of us. mended, yes. but still there. together it all makes us who we are at this moment.

namaste'