it never goes away

from Participation Trophy by mark bingham

/

lyrics

IT NEVER GOES AWAY Japan Dec 2000

God gave me the finger that’s how I used to think
she was laughing at me as I teetered on the brink
I did not need her help to fail I was perfect on my own
God liked to say, boy it never goes away

In the cold Kyoto moonlight, a steady rain fell sideways
I saw centuries of cruelty shining through your eyes on me
Me, the barbarian and you the zen elite
But I’m smelling the earth’s sweet bouquet and it never goes away

I’ve got a picture of my
Father in uniform in navy blues
Looking hungover before he shipped out

The USS Houston sunk off the coast of java and he swam to shore
Watching his buddies being eaten by sharks and he was captured and then…

Now I see that teenage prisoner in a bamboo hut alone
7000 miles from the fields of Indiana eating rice or insects
counting every day the image blurs but it never goes away

Now the party’s almost over now the mushrooms are all gone
Now the dog ate all the cookies now the purple light of dawn
Now I see the devastation to the very core of earth
Holy fire through the skies holy fire fire fire

God gave me a purpose that I never found
I heard that joke so many times but I can never live it down.
Some of us are born to spin a gift we can’t return

It’s here today and it never goes away
I’m yours today and it never goes away

credits

from Participation Trophy, released October 10, 2025

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