Worst Date #14 - Surprise!

Yes, it's back... my compilations of worst date stories. Not my own mind you, but true nonetheless.

The most presumptuous date I've ever been on was with a fellow who claimed he had a "surprise" for me. I love surprises!


Especially ones that start out with a long drive down the twisty roads of Mulholland Drive before pulling up to an impressive mansion with valet parking. I was banking on "Murder Mystery Party," but what I got was

-- wait for it--

an orgy!

You know, just a casual place for rich, horny men to walk around with their scrotums held in a martini glass (really), hoping to get lucky.

In the (brief) time I was there, I saw things that would make a Showtime exec blush.

My date realized he'd struck out with me, but I suspect he might have gone back to the party after he dropped me off, by the way his tires squealed when he dropped me off.

Oh! The final nail in the coffin: This fancy, no-holds-barred, uber-classy sex party? BYOB.

Worst Date #13 - I'd Like To Introduce...

When a guy says, "I want to introduce you to some friends," I don't immediately think, Oh, he wants to take me to an AA meeting.


Now, I'm all for the program. It's helped many people, including friends of mine.

It's just not a place to take a date ever. That's why it's anonymous.

I get that he wanted to be open and honest about where he was in his life, but have some decorum. If not for me, but for the brave souls trying to overcome their addictions in private.

They don't want to see you woo me with your "sharing."


Disclaimer: These are not my dating stories... Just ones I've accumulated.

Worst Date #12 - You Want To Do What?

What started out as a normal date -- dinner followed by a long walk -- devolved into something very, very odd. He asked if I wanted to swing by his apartment for some ice cream. Wonderful. Innocent enough. I love ice cream.

His place was very clean and Zen-y, so I wasn't fazed when he asked if I would remove my shoes. We sat on cushions on the floor, sharing a spoon and some Rocky Road.


Things were headed for first base when, out of the blue, he announced,

"I would really love to wash your feet."

"My feet?" I asked.

"They're a window into the soul, don't you think?" he replied.

He then confessed that he also wanted to wash my hair, too. I started getting self-conscious. This wasn't a date -- it was a shower.

I politely declined, but this guy had one more for me. As I started planning my escape, he added that I shouldn't be weirded out -- he's just a giver, so much so that he sometimes liked to give guys BJs.

Since we were unloading all of our inappropriate first-date conversations on each other, I told him that his ice cream made me farty and then booked it.




Disclaimer: While this is true, it did not happen to *me*! lol

Worst Date #11 - Great Conversationalist

A few weeks ago, I went on a date with a guy who spent 3 hours discussing the technical minutiae of computer installation. I got lost after the first five minutes, couldn't ask any questions because I didn't have a clue what he was saying, just kept saying "mmhmm", and he decided I was the best conversationalist he'd met in years! Adding insult to injury, when the date was over, he expected me to pay half. I am willing to go out with a bore a second time, to see if he was just nervous on the first date, but I'm not willing to pay for the privilege of being bored stiff!

From: So Suave

Worst First Date #10 - Persistent Devil

I went on a "blind date" that my best friend had set me up on. We talked on the phone on Thursday and agreed to meet on Friday. When I saw him, I about fell over. He was so yucky! I always say looks aren't important but you DO have to be physically attracted to them. This guy...like I said...just plain yucky!

So I was nice...we went and got a coffee and headed back to the car. I said I had to go and he went off the deep end.

"I wanna go back to your house with you," he said.

We met in a town that is about 25 minutes from where I live. I kept saying no… that I didn’t want him to, and he kept bugging me about it.

SO finally, I concluded I wasn't going to get away from this guy and told him to follow me. Then I "accidentally" lost him on the highway.

He called my cell and I never picked up. He left nasty messages telling me how horrible that was for me to do that to him. Oh well!!!! I didn't care!

I never spoke to him again. But I gave my friend a piece of my mind!

THEN Christmas eve, he called me. I picked up not knowing the phone number and he started talking. I figured out who it was and again "accidentally" hung up the phone.

From: Plenty Of Fish

Worst First Date #9 - No Gifts... Please!

I was having a lot of first dates weeding thru the duds in my local area in New Orleans. I had a usual format: If their profile didn't have a good photo, I’d ask for one. If they didn't have one, I moved on to the next candidate... it always seemed fishy to me when a person had enough computer savvy to have a profile on an internet dating site, but couldn't provide a clear picture of yourself. If you have done online dating you know, most people have at least one good picture of themselves. I am not a superficial person, and I look for things other than looks, but if we are HONEST with ourselves we know that physical attraction is important... hence the reason why clear pictures are important before we go to the "meet in person" phase.

I was contacted by a particular gentleman... all the pictures he sent me were blurry. It seemed he tried to enlarge photos that were too small and so when enlarged you could barely make any of the detail out. The face part of the picture was totally wiped out but he seemed so nice, we got along well via our conversation, and I wasn't doing anything that day - so I abandoned my "picture procedure" and agreed to meet him at a local restaurant. I figured - what the heck - I might be pleasantly surprised.


Let me just say... NOT! He was not pleasing to the eye in the least. I won't get into the many problems I had with his appearance, but suffice it to say, he was not even close to my type. I tried to make the best of things, and not hurt his feelings by running away from the restaurant.



I tried to make conversation and be friendly - unfortunately I had to carry the conversation thru the entire dinner.. I don't know WHO I was talking to before, but this person in front of me had no conversational skills.. I decided that even if I could get past the physical issues, there was nothing attractive for me underneath.

As we were going our separate ways, he gives me a gift bag and thanks me for the evening.. I found that odd. I had never gotten a gift like that on a first date. As I walked away, I started wondering if perhaps he was nervous and that’s why he didn't talk during the date. I went to my apartment and as soon as I got inside, curiosity was killing me, so I opened the gift bag. You could've picked my jaw off the floor.. it was LINGERIE!! On a first date he had given me LINGERIE!!!

I was thankful I had the forethought to wait until I was in my apartment before I opened the bag. I have no idea what I would've said, and would've had to fight the urge to slap him upside the head. What's even creepier: It had mail order packaging that let me know he had purchased it WAY before he met me online. even creepier still: it was MY SIZE (the size was printed on the label of the package)! I imagined either he purchased it for someone else that was my size and it was a coincidence (eww!)… or he had a huge filing system where when he went on dates he guessed the size and then went to the proper cabinet for that size (double eww)! I had visions of him being a wierdo pervert - or worse some kind of serial killer. I mean who gives lingerie on a first date?!?

To end this story, he has the nerve to write me a scathing email after he got home about how superficial I was - despite how polite and friendly I had been to him. I had done my very best to not hurt his feelings and let on that he was not my type. I am picky, but I am not rude and careless about other's feelings. However, after the gift bag shock, I fired back and email letting him know that I was not the rude one - I was the one chatting and trying to get to know him and he was the one sitting there like a bump on a log. I also gave him a good dating tip - do NOT give lingerie on a first date - it is TACKY and wierd.

~Courtney in Louisiana


This one was sent to me by one of my blog readers. Now, I've gotten flowers on first dates, but never lingerie... The gall of men never cease to amaze me.

Worst First Date #8 - He Said What?!

I met a guy at the gym about 4 years ago. He was seemingly normal in passing (decent convo, attractive). We wound up exchanging numbers, conversing by phone several times, and planned a date.

I met him at a restaurant where he decided he didn’t want to eat. so, we settled on another place about 10 minutes away. I drove.

About 5 minutes into the ride, I was addressed in every other sentence as the “n” word. Of course I looked at this fool like he’d lost it. He went on to explain that he calls everybody the N-word.

His behavior only worsened once we were seated at the restaurant. His convo went up a notch (if that’s possible) to the point that every other word out of his mouth was a curse word. I felt like i was on a date with Richard Pryor on a crack binge…lol. I got up and left him there at the restaurant before dinner even started.

I still don’t know how he got home (and don’t care!).

From: www.ajc.com

Worst First Date #7 - Best Conversationalist

A few weeks ago, I went on a date with a guy who spent 3 hours discussing the technical minutiae of computer installation.

I got lost after the first five minutes, couldn't ask any questions because I didn't have a clue what he was saying, just kept saying "mmhmm", and he decided I was the best conversationalist he'd met in years!

Adding insult to injury, when the date was over, he expected me to pay half. I am willing to go out with a bore a second time, to see if he was just nervous on the first date, but I'm not willing to pay for the privilege of being bored stiff!

From: So Suave

Worst First Date #6 - Cheap Date

I was set up on a "blind date" with a friend of mine -- great looking guy, total sweetheart, and someone I'd always adored. To me (and to him), it was such a natural and yet surprising situation -- "of course, how could I have failed to see what was right in front of me?" We made a plan to attend a school formal that same weekend, and were so thrilled by the surprising shift in our relationship status that we made plans to have lunch away from campus the next day.

He came to pick me up and we drove to a slightly dumpy Italian restaurant -- I was trying to think the best, shifting "dumpy" to "charming and rustic" in my mind. We were the ONLY two people being served. So, my friend says, "Hey, I have a coupon for this place." Then he proceeds to say that, in fact, he has TWO coupons, and that we can redeem them both (they were for a free lunch entree) IF WE DON'T SIT AT THE SAME TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I proceed to demur: "No, we have to sit together -- we're on a date! Don't worry, I'll pay." He tries to convince me to stick with his plan: "After all, we're the only two in here, and we can sit at adjoining tables.", but eventually resolves his inner dilemma by letting me pick up the check.

I was mortified and totally turned off. Nothing kills the glow quicker than obnoxious cheapness.

From: HowToDate.com

Worst First Date #5 - Watch Your Wallet

After several weeks of e-mailing one another, I decided to meet this man in person. We decide to meet at a local pub and grill.

Right after sitting down and ordering drinks, a rather big muscular man approaches our table and throws a drink in my date's face. He then turned to me and asked if I really knew the man I was sitting with, and I should not allow him any access to anything personal, as he had embezzled many thousands of dollars from his ex-wife and her family.

A bunch of words thrown out at this point degrading this man across the table from me. Management showed up, but not before another drink made it's way to my date's face. The police were called and the altercaton taken care of.

My date and I left the pub and go to his home where he told me his whole life story in which he did steal from his ex-wife and her family, and faked being a college student, as well as lied about being employeed. Turns out this man was bi-polar.

Lynda in Erie, PA
(from www.datingfun.com)


Aye-aye-aye! She went back to HIS place afterwards?? Maybe I'm jaded... What was she thinking??? I'm all for giving benefit of the doubt, but seriously??!

Worst First Date #4 - Sobering Night Out

"I agreed to go out with a guy I met at a local bar who was pretty drunk when we met but, come on, most people you meet in bars are drunk right?

As I pull in the parking lot of the movies he was walking to his vehicle. When he met me back at the door I asked him where he had been and he said, 'I was having a beer in my truck.'

Jokingly, I asked if he drank everywhere he went and he said, 'Of course, I keep a 12 pack in a cooler between my seats at all times.'

I then went on to tell him he had a drinking problem jokingly because I thought we were joking. He then made the comment, 'I don't think I have a problem but I do start classes Wednesday since I've gotten 4 D.W.I.s this year.'

As if this wasn't bad enough when he bought the movie tickets they asked him to donate $1 to the Children's Cancer Fund. He ignorantly said no and we went to the concession stand. They asked him again and in front of many children and families he abruptly yells, 'What the hell is up with all these sick kids?!' At that moment I realized the guy was toasted.

We went into the movie and he got up every 5 minutes to pee and drink another beer. I was so mortified. After the movie he walked me to my car and then went on to ask
me for money to buy more beer since he was so kind to pay for the movie."

-Michelle A. in Salisbury, Maryland
(from www.datingwithoutdrama.com)


This is a perfect example of why I haven't done the bar scene since before I was married (and subsequently divorced). Her assumption in the first paragraph made me LOL -- Not *everyone* who goes to bars get toasted. I would've left him standing there once he told me he had beer in the truck. Not only does he having a drinking problem, he's also STUPID. 4 DUI's? It made me swirl back to the conversation I had with T when he told me he got a DUI last year... and still proceeded to drink and drive. Ack! No thanks.

Anyone else have some worst first date stories?

Worst First Date 3 - Painful Experience

"My worst first date was also my first blind date. We met for a coffee after being set up through a mutual friend. At first glance he was attractive, but I really wanted to find out who this person was.

He immediately started into a recent break-up with a longtime girlfriend, followed by a description of how he was coping with his heartbreak. This included the recent addition of two very large tattoos on his head, underneath his hairline. Now this is years before tats were 'trendy' and were still associated with bikers and convicts, and I'm no prude, but his reasoning for the tats was most concerning.

He explained that he had the tats done for one clear reason; the physical pain of having them applied to his scalp in relation to the emotional pain he felt over the ex-girlfriend, 'to really feel the pain of it all' he said. He then told me about his piercings, which again at the time were considered to be pretty strange based on their location.

The piercings were located on his 'member,' both of which were applied for similar reasons as the tats.

Long before the second confession, I questioned the friendship I had with the girl who set us up, wondering if she knew me at all. He was a nice enough guy, but terribly troubled, with a past I wanted no involvement in. I never spoke to him again and I still wonder to this day what would have possessed her to set us up."

-Laura P. in Alberta, Canada
(from www.datingwithoutdrama.com)


Ummm... Been THERE, done THAT. Not with the tats/pain issues, but dealing with issues over ex's. People who do things like this definitely aren't ready for another relationship. (Think therapy, dude!) Also, have wondered what friends/family were thinking?! Next...

Worst First Date #2 - Father Figure

"I met the guy on Match and his profile said he was 45 (I was 33). Since his picture was OK and looked age appropriate, I agreed to meet him in a bar in NYC for a drink.

I arrived and scanned the bar for my date. I had noticed this weird looking guy with a Russian fur hat sitting by the door, but he was old so it couldn't be him.


Sure enough, after a minute I hear my name being called and I turn around and it is the fur hat guy.

Trapped!

Since my identity was blown, I went over to meet this guy - I was hoping that my date had sent his father to tell me that he wasn't coming. Stunned, I agreed to sit and have a drink, where I learned that the guy was 75!!!

Responding to my incredulous question of why he had lied about his age he responded 'Some people can't handle the whole truth!' Turns out the picture was of his son!

Although I wanted to bolt, I heard him out for about 15 minutes. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and told him that I had stayed that long because 'I was raised to respect my elders.'"

-Betsy A. in Spring Lake, NJ
(from www.datingwithoutdrama.com)


Can't handle the TRUTH??!! I'd say 42 years is quite a thing to wrap one's head around. I say men who do that are looking for a young trophy-GF, which is fine but be HONEST about it! Having purused my fair share of online personal ads and having had my own, I can say that there are a LOT of old(er) men looking for young women. While it's fine for those who want to partake... Not for this girl.

Worst First Date #1 - Mr Inappropriate

"The night began with my date slowing down only enough for me to jump into to his car. Without hesitation he announces, 'Hey, I didn't have time to shower, so I bought this,' proceeding to spray air-freshener behind my seat and inevitably all over me. (Lovely, New-Car scent, but I DID shower.)

He takes me to a local spot for some beer and tacos. Almost immediately he begins to burp- CONTINUOUSLY! I'm embarrassed because other customers are starting to notice. After a rather large release he announces, 'Oh, man. Beer gives me gas.'

Apparently that is not all it does; I endured stories of the previous night where his primary objective was to get his boss's daughter drunk and hit on her, how stupid cops are, how he's 'SO in [my pants]' (no way!), insulting questions of 'Am I pregnant?' (If I was, he'd 'take Shorty home STAT') AND, "Am I infertile?!" (sooo not appropriate!)

Insanely, the date continued, where he whisked us off to a not-so-romantic evening viewing of 'Star Wars.' He pouted when we got crappy seats and yelled multiple times at the screen during the movie. I couldn't sink lower in my chair if I tried!

I practically ran from the car as he yelled out the sun roof, 'Call me sometime!'

LESSON ONE: The man in the elevator at the gynecologist's office IS creepy! STAY HOME!"

-Gayle W. in Costa Mesa, CA
(from www.datingwithoutdrama.com)


LOL, I bet you thought THAT was my date! This is the first installment of "Worst Dates" for all my single girl readers. Feel free to comment, if you can relate!

If it were me, I would've called it a night after the beer-burping incident and comments about being so-into my pants. I have to admit, the story is hilarious. Think she called him?