My first bad dragon arrives today I'm so excited! Clayton med/med. I wanted some ridges and bumps. What are some of your favs?

I confess that I want ever single bit of merchandise this store has to offer
https://bad-dragon.com/products

Fox

XL Bad Dragon toy and he is taking it like a champion 8-)

rank my last purchases on a scale of 1 - 10:

- seasons 1-3 of That's So Raven
- DVD of Cadet Kelly starring Hilary Duff
- Spyro the Dragon for PS1
- Bad Boys 2 blu ray
- Motorola Razr cell phone
- 588 RTX satin chrome wedge golf club
- Bath & Body Works japanese cherry blossom body wash
- Breville BES860XL espresso machine
- Nike SB dunks size 7 men's
- confederate flag graphic Zippo Lighter
- Cap n' Crunch cereal
- ceramic cereal bowl
- plastic spoon and fork hardware set
- DVD of Rocco's Furious Fuckers 2
- VHS of Dawn of the Dead
- VHS of Godzilla versus Mothra
- Lion King blu ray
- Lexi Belle molded Flesh light

is this a good haul or what?

So I've been wondering a while if anyone has tried these cock-sheaths from here. I'm currently looking for a ltr in my area with a girl that would want to use one or all with me as time progresses on in the relationship. These are all from bad-dragon.com and I was hoping to get a few responses back about this.

Life, the Universe & everything.

Quotes from Douglas Adams, one of the funniest guys that ever lived.

RIP 1952 - 2001.
So long, & thanks for all the books.

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.”

“Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“God puts an apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha." It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it... because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.”

“He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.”

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”

“I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.”

“If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.”

“If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”

“If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.”

"INFINITE: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that, in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big" time. Infinity is so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.”

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”

“It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.”

“It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made p******** should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

“It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.”

“Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”

“Life is wasted on the living.”

“Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.”

“Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally unfucked-up personality.”

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.”

“That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.”

“The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.”

“The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”

“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phase, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”

“The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.”

“The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.”

“The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

“Time is bunk.”

“Time, we know, is relative. You can travel light years through the stars and back, and if you do it at the speed of light then, when you return, you may have aged mere seconds while your twin brother or sister will have aged twenty, thirty, forty or however many years it is, depending on how far you traveled. This will come to you as a profound shock, particularly if you didn't know you had a twin brother or sister.”

“We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.”

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.”

“It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear.”

“If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there...what then?

The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of belief? The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.”

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...”

“Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the Empire forged.”

“You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon

airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in

deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me

when I was young!

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen!”

“...was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking... he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomably into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

“Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though.”

“Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

“Who is this God person anyway?”

“On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms.”

“Well I think we've sorted all that out now. If you'd like to know, I can tell you that in your Universe you move freely in three dimensions that you call space. You move in a straight line in a fourth, which you call time, and stay rooted to one place in a fifth, which is the first fundamental of probability. After that it gets a bit complicated, and there's all sorts of stuff going on in dimensions 13 to 22 that you really wouldn't want to know about. All you really need to know for the moment is that the Universe is a lot more complicated then you might think.”

"`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'

`But the plans were on display...'

`On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'

`That's the display department.'

`With a torch.'

`Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'

`So had the stairs.'

`But look you found the notice didn't you?'

`Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"

"`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.'

`Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"

"`This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, `I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'"

"Pages one and two [of Zaphod's p********ial speech] had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it."

“this is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.”

"`You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It's unpleasently like being drunk.'

`What's so unpleasent about being drunk?'

`You ask a glass of water.'"

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'"

"There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?' `Why do they die?' `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?'"

"The fronting for the eighty-yard long marble-topped bar had been made by stitching together nearly twenty thousand Antarean Mosaic Lizard skins, despite the fact that the twenty thousand lizards concerned had needed them to keep their insides in."

"`We've got to find out what people want from fire, how they relate to it, what sort of image it has for them.'

The crowd were tense. They were expecting something wonderful from Ford.

`Stick it up your nose,' he said.

`Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know,' insisted the girl, `Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?'"

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

"Ford grabbed him by the lapels of his dressing gown and spoke to him as slowly and distinctly and patiently as if he were somebody from a telephone company accounts department."

“Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position.”

"His eyes seemed to be popping out of his head. He wasn't certain if this was because they were trying to see more clearly, or if they simply wanted to leave at this point."

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind."

"`You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?'

`Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'

Trillian frowned. `What do you mean, offence?'

`I see.'"

"`She hit me on the head with the rock again.'

`I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.'

`Sweet kid.'

`You have to get to know her,' said Arthur.

`She eases up does she?'

`No,' said Arthur, `but you get a better sense of when to duck.'"

"The beak was a major piece of armoury. It was a beak that would frighten any animal on earth, even one that was already dead and in a tin."

"`Could we perhaps take a snake bite detector with us to Komodo?'

`Course you can, course you can. Take as many as you like. Won't do you a blind bit of good because they're only for Australian snakes.'

`So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?'

He blinked at me as if I was stupid.

`Well what do you think you do?' he said. `You die of course. That's what deadly means.'"

"Mark turned and asked a passenger behind us if these planes ever crashed. Oh yes, he was told, but not to worry - there hadn't been a serious crash now in months."

"Virtually everything we were told in Indonesia turned out not to be true, sometimes almost immediately. The only exception to this was when we were told that something would happen immediately, in which case it turned out not to be true over an extended period of time."

"Komodo dragons sleep headfirst in large burrows. It is a very, very, very bad idea to even think of pulling its tail."

“Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody -- maybe even disliking them a lot -- and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire. It was a difference which kept the vast majority of the population alive from day to day.”

“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own laws.”

“The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.”

“The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.”

“One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis.”

“For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across - which happened to be the Earth - where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.”

“The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand million, nine hundred and ninety- nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety- nine times out of a billion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it.”

“Since this Galaxy began, vast civilisations have risen and fallen, risen and fallen, risen and fallen so often that it's quite tempting to think that life in the Galaxy must be (a) something akin to seasick - space-sick, time sick, history sick or some such thing, and (b) stupid.”

“It wasn't his job to worry about that, though. It was his job to do his job, which was to do his job. If that led to a certain narrowness of vision and circularity of thought then it wasn't his job to worry about such things.”

“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”

“Computer, if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a very large axe.”

“I think all cats are wild cats. They just act tame if they think they'll get a saucer of milk out of it.”

“Look, would it save a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“Now, either you all give yourselves up now and let us beat you up a bit, though not very much of course because we are firmly opposed to needless violence, or we blow up this entire planet and possibly one or two we noticed on our way out here!”

“Rome wasn't burned in a day.”

“The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.”

“The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making.”

“There is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially.”

“Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.”

“We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying.”

“Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters, which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”

“If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil does.”

"Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in..."

"...he was at least twice as unbalanced now, and quite liable to fall off whatever it is that well-balanced people are supposed to be balancing on."

"In his dreams he was walking late at night along the East Side, beside the river which had become so extravagantly polluted that new life forms were now emerging from it spontaneously, demanding welfare and voting rights"

"Busy executives often didn’t have time for a full-time wife and family and would just rent them for weekends."

"It was impossible for Arthur to know this, but he just went ahead and knew it anyway."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."

I sat at the bar on New Years eve, pondering life. There has been so many ups and downs, especially the downer of how my wife decided to leave me for a married couple. The funny thing was, we never had any issues – it was just out of the blue. When she came to me about it all, she said it wasn’t me, that she just wanted to explore her sexuality and that she was being selfish. She said she didn’t mean to hurt me, and even let me keep the car, the house – hell I got to keep everything. We had no kids as she was infertile, which was fine. Me being 46, no kids, no wife – I was just kind of done with everything.
So there I was, drowning my sorrows and in my own thoughts, and this girl sits down next to me. I thought nothing of it, I was too invested in self-pity. Fuck I didn’t even notice her sit down until she ordered a beer.
“What would you like miss?” The bartender asked as he wiped the counter down.
“I don’t like domestic, gives me a headache, do you have Newcastle or Guinness?” she asked with a soft voice. Good choice, I thought – and I was pulled to pay for her drink but decided self-pity was the theme of the evening.
“We’ve got both”
“I’ll get a Guinness then!”
“Hey, you need a refill?” I heard her ask. I didn’t think she was talking to me, but I noticed my glass was almost empty, I turned to see who she was talking to. I almost fell out of my chair, she was drop dead gorgeous. Her bobbed black hair framed her face perfectly, her luscious lips sparkled and her eyes seemingly looked right into my soul.
“Oh um, me? I might call it a night,” I said to her as I shyly looked away.
“That sucks, I’ll tell you what, and it sure looks like you could use someone to talk to – so stick around. I’ve got this round, you get the next?” She smiled and checked her phone.
I looked at the bartender, “I’ll have what she’s having,” and I looked at her, “thank you for your kindness.”
I don’t know why I said that, it just came out of me – “thank you for your kindness??” are you fucking kidding me? Yet, it seemed to work.
“I’m Cindy, happy New Year to you…”
I smiled, “I’m Mike, happy New Year to you too, pleasure to meet you.”
The bartender came with our drinks and we clinked them together, “to better days, yeah Mike?”
“To better days, Cindy, I sure need them!” I laughed.
“Why, what’s up? Tell me about yourself, Michael!” She said, using my full name – which was shocking, no one ever did that, so it was strange to hear.
“Oh boy, my tragic life, it’s pretty uninteresting. Where do I start? My wife left me a year ago to live with a married couple she’s been screwing around with behind my back, but at least she left me with everything – we got divorced, and well, I haven’t heard from her since. Which is fine I guess. I can’t complain about my job, I love my job. I work with labor unions, organizing non-union workers and helping people get a decent wage…”
Cindy took a sip of her Guinness, “how crazy is that, what your wife did? If you really love someone you wouldn’t do that – I’m so sorry that happened to you. Hell, she could have at least asked you to join them! If it’s any consolation, I got dumped by my fiancé 2 years ago and haven’t looked back. I figure once someone breaks trust like that, there’s no going back. I don’t even really think about him anymore at all.”
“Yeah, I thought she was the one, ya know? And I’m sure you thought your ex was the one too – otherwise you wouldn’t have been engaged, right?”
“It always amazes me how people lack compassion and empathy these days. We’re a rare breed you and I…” she took another sip of her drink, “People who actually give a fuck… who care, it’s so damn rare. She hurt you out of her selfish needs, as did my ex. The hell with both of them!”
I laughed, “agreed, the hell with them,” I raised my glass and we clanked them together and laughed.
We talked for hours, it was almost 10:30 PM, and Cindy showed me the time on her phone “the end of 2024 is almost here.”
“Hopefully that’s a good thing, Cindy.”
“Hey, you want to bring in the New Year with me? My place or yours? Why stick around in a bar when we both can talk and chill together?”
I was a bit shocked, “Are you sure you want to bring in the New Year with a 46 year old guy who’s probably going through a midlife crisis?”
She smirked, “Dude, you’re hot. I like older men. You got that salt and pepper hair, tall dark and handsome, with those dark brown eyes I could lose myself in… I’ll cure that midlife crisis of yours,” she laughed and nudged my shoulder.
“I’m not far away, my house is just down the road a bit…” I told her, and then asked, “How old are you?”
She bit her lip, “Don’t freak out, I know I’m a bit young – I’m 24. And I trust you, I know people pretty good, I’ve got a good sense about people – you give me a good vibe, so yeah, let’s head to your place.”
She followed me to my house, we both parked in my driveway and went inside. I took her jacket and hung it up, then showed her to the living room. She sat down on the couch and giggled.
“What kind of movies do you like? I’m going to guess science fiction and fantasy from the figurines on the TV cabinet,” she said pointing to a dragon figurine.
“You would be correct! I love sci-fi and fantasy, a lot!”
“Oh we’re going to get along just fine, Mike – just to let you know I’m not into sports… at all.”
My heart skipped, “Neither am I – I find them boring! Oh shit, let me get you a drink. How’s rum and Coke?”
“Perfect! Oh shit we forgot to get Champaign!”
“I actually got some from Costco the other day, it was a $50 bottle and I planned staying here for New Years and not going out but… well luckily I did!”
I chilled the Champaign on ice as we drank our rum and Cokes and got to know each other even more.
As midnight approached I got the Champaign ready and got a couple of Champaign glasses – we counted down together, “3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!!!”
I found myself in her arms, our lips were touching, our tongues were exploring. Her arms wrapped around me, holding me against her body. I could feel her soft breasts pushing into my chest as my hand gently caressed her face.
We must have kissed for 20 minutes straight, and our hands began to wander. She pulled back, again biting her lower lip.
“I don’t fuck on the first date,” she said with a sly smile, “but we’re not on a date!”
She unbuttoned my pants, pulled them down and started sucking my cock. I leaned back on the couch and let her go to town. Her sexy black bobbed hair swayed and caressed her face as she swallowed the whole of my cock. She quickened the pace, jerking me off and sucking as my cock got harder and harder – I didn’t want to cum just yet so I stopped her, and pushed her down on the couch. I pulled her shirt up, undid her bra and pulled her pants and panties off. I started licking her lovely soft breasts, teasing her hard nipples and worked my way down to her completely shaved (waxed) pussy. My face dove right in. Her juices were sweet, succulent, she tasted like no other women I’ve ever been with. She moaned and cried out in pleasure, her body shaking and quivering with each lick. I pushed a finger inside her, she was tight as hell. I started working my finger as my tongue lapped at her dripping cunt. She exploded in pleasure, literally. I’ve never been with a woman who can squirt, but she did – the warm fluid gushed on to my chin, on to my chest as she writhed in orgasmic delight. She let out a guttural scream, “FUCKKKK!! OH MY FUCKING GOD MIKE!!” Cindy nearly passed out.
I cuddled into her as she was recovering, she started stroking my hair, “holy fuck – who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you learn how to do that??”
“What?” I asked.
“No one has ever made me squirt, I’m the only person that can do it – you’re the first person to ever get it right!” she was panting.
“Oh you’re in a lot of trouble mister,” she said as she pushed me back, and started sucking my cock to get it rock hard again. When she got it hard enough she mounted it, taking it all inside of her. She started riding me, her breasts bouncing on my chest as her lips met mine. Her pussy was way too tight, I wasn’t going to last long at all.
“Holy fuck you’re so god damned tight Cindy… I’m not going to last long…”
“GOOD!” She pushed me deeper into her tight hot hole, looking into my eyes – she was mesmerized, as was I.
“Such a beautiful cock Mike, oh so good….” She said as her cunt stroked me deep inside her.
“Cindy….” I murmmered as my hands gently clenched her cloudy soft breasts.
“Give me all of your cum Mike, fill me up…” Cindy whispered.
I did. I erupted deep inside her, my cock jumped and pulsed as cum sprayed inside of her. She moaned and began grinding my dick in her pussy. I could feel every detail of the inside of her tight pussy, she was milking my cock dry. There was so much cum her tight little cunt couldn’t hold it all, so it started dripping out and down my balls. She got off me, and I felt her mouth licking the cum off my cock and balls. After she was done she cuddled into me.
“That was perfect,” Cindy sighed.
“Can I get your number?” I asked jokingly.
“Ya think??” she laughed.
We both got serious for a second, “would you be opposed for me taking you out on a date?”
She kissed my lips, “I’d love that. But remember, I don’t fuck on the first date!”
We both laughed.
“Cindy, seriously, I’ve never met anyone like you and honestly dating you wouldn’t really be about the sex, it’s about getting to know you – because it just seems like you were put in my life for a reason.”
“Mike, everything happens for a reason. I’m a big believer in that. Bad things happen and we learn lessons from them. Good things happen and fill us with joy and happiness. So, let me be clear – I won’t ever cheat on you Mike, I know that I’m just saying words to you – but I know how it feels. And I know you’ll never cheat on me either, because you’re a 46 year old guy banging a 26 year old.”
We laughed.
“Cindy, you’re way mature for your age – I don’t even see your age.”
“Oh, I see your age – that’s a kink of mine,” she smiled, “don’t get offended if I start calling you daddy, and beg you to spank me for being a bad girl.”
“Oh you’re a bad girl, huh?” I said as my hand smacked her ass.
“Oh daddy, I’ve been so bad…”
We ended up fucking again, this time doggy style. I was trying to go soft on her with the spanking but she kept telling me to smack her ass harder. I did.
“I’m so fucking bad daddy, spank me!!! HARDER!! HARDER DADDY!”
She has so much energy, and she got off from me spanking her while fucking her from behind. She came, her ass jiggled and I couldn’t hold off, and came inside her again.
We both collapsed – we were exhausted.
“We forgot to drink the Champaign.”
I showed her were my bedroom was, and she stayed the night. We both fell asleep in each other’s arms and when I woke up, she was still there. I made her breakfast and we spent the day together. We fucked a few times more on New Years Day too. I got her number, and we’ve been seeing each other every day. I took her out to eat on Saturday – it was a good date. At the end of the date I drove her home and walked her up to her apartment.
We kissed and she asked if I wanted to come in for a cup of coffee. I smirked and pinned her up against her apartment door, “I’m going to break you of that fucking on a first date rule,” my hands groped her breasts.
She opened the door to her apartment, shut it and we fucked right there on the floor. I ended up staying the night. I’m seeing her again tonight, she’s coming over to my house.
Yesterday I actually asked her if she is on birth control, her only response was “nope.”
My response, “good.”
She responded back with the smiley face emojie with hearts for eyes.
“Breed me daddy.”
Sure, we’re moving way too fucking fast – but life is life. I don’t give a fuck. I think I’ll eventually ask her to move in, and perhaps if all goes well – perhaps to spend her life with me. I know there is a massive age difference. I’ll be 62 and she’ll be 44, I’ll be 72 and she’ll be 54. But at least we would be happy in knowing we were in good company. Shit, I sound like I’m falling in love… I probably am in love.
I confess I’m in love with a girl I met 8 days ago.

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