I must confess that i... am a failure at life.
I sleazed my way through School, i dont have many friends, and i cant even get a proper job. The only reason i've got a roof over my head, this lovely lappy i'm on, and food to eat is because i have the most understanding family ever. But that's a curse as much as it is a blessing.
They dont push me to succeed in life. They dont even seem to think about how in a year or two i'll be old enough to own a CHL(you're more adult at 21 than 18 y'know). They wont even do so much as to help me out with finding work. It's like they're completely okay with the fact that their son is failing to get out there and make a name for his self.
I've got brothers a plenty who fucked up their lives having kids, slinging dope, joining the military, and thus My parents are proud of me for not having done any of that. But that's just it. I've done NOTHING! And they're proud? D:
But it's not like i dont do my fair share to earn my place. I keep the house tidy, take care of two dogs, am there for a little brother, and other little things. But that puts me nowhere when i'm out on my own.
I'm trying hard to find work. I've been looking for months now, and i've gotten nothing. Not even a call back. And every oppertunity that was good, something usually got in the way. Car troubles, being too far away to afford to drive there, not knowing how to get there... stupid things. Granted both my Parents work hard every day to do keep us out of the red, i need some help sometimes :/
So i'm 19, and making no headway in life whatsoever. But i've got a loving family i know i can at least make myself useful to. But that makes me no less a failure. Failure, dead weight, fifth wheel, whatever you want to call it.
But one day i'll be out on my own in the world. God help me when that time comes >.<
But i cant give up. I wont. I'll try my hardest anyway even though i seem doomed to fail. I will remain strong, no matter what life throws at me. But that makes me no less a failure.
Thank god Motherless has these boards. It's the middle of the night and i can sob my heart out anonymously :D