i saw a vid awhile ago, i seem to remember being waaay too young to have been watching porn at the time. i can't remember what the title was, the vid had these two hot women sitting at a table, talking. one has a meal set in front of her which she's eating and the other just has an empty plate, empty glass, silverware, napkin. at one point the girl who's eating says something. she stands up, moves over to the other side of the table and pisses in the other girls glass. then she takes the plate and shits on it. sets this meal in front of the other girl and she just starts digging in. grabs a fork and knife and eats a slice of the turd like it was any other food, washes it down with a swig of piss and goes back for another bite. meanwhile they keep talking- you'd think they don't even realize what she's eating. i didn't understand what they were saying, they were speaking like german or something, but it sounded conversational, like they might have been talking about the weather or something. they sure as hell didn't sound like they were acknowledging what was going on. anybody got this vid, like anywhere? please??

this is my confession. it's rather trivial and insignificant but i thought i'd share this with everyone because it happened recently and tbh i don't know how to wrap my thoughts around it.

my gf and i met at university and have been dating now for 6 years, and are at the stage of marriage. we've met each other's parents, talked about the future and decided we want the same thing out of life.

however, the other day as my gf and i were having a shower, i decided to get out sooner so i could make dinner since she was taking a long time and i thought it would be nice for her to come out with dinner ready for us in bed. anyway, her phone was on the dining table and so for the first time in 6 years i thought i'd get a hold of it and have a look at what's inside. i've never even thought about doing this before because her and i are very independent and don't bother too much with social network stuff so there's nothing to actually look if her or myself were inspect each other's phone.

well, that's what i thought. well, it's true her phone is as app boring as mine but what was strange was a single photo of herself in there. it's the photo that i've uploaded to ML. i don't know what to make of it. it's definitely her but why does she have this photo in her phone? who took the photo?

so, now she's out of the shower, dinner is ready and we're eating on our bed whilst watching some anime. she's talking about work and i'm sitting there thinking about this photo with a wtf look on my face and so whilst she's talking i ask her 'what's with the half naked photo of yourself?' and then she drops the fork and stummers for a second as she's regaining her composure and then goes on to tell me that her brother took the photo. she's trying to explain and i'm sitting there stunned, shocked, speechless and thinking 'god,i wish i never asked her'. because now, i've only got more questions and the idea of marriage is so far beyond me now but at the same time .. it's so strange, at the same time i'm wanting her to keep talking about her relationship with her brother because it's so twisted and kind of sensual that it's turning me on.

i hit the nail on the head and tell her that her relatioship with her brother is wrong and that it needs to stop. i say this to her because the truth is something that i don't want to encourage because of the fear that i'm not good enough for her and the idea to be her second choice is just demoralising. she tells me that she's in love with me and that her and her brother have been close for many many years and that it's nothing to worry about.

why shouldn't i be worried when she's been keeping this a secret? why should i even be making dinner for us when there's a secret life she's got and it's like, who is she? do i even know her? do i want to know her? why now? i'm 26 and all our friends are getting married, having their own families and i'm stuck with this? i spent all of university and the past 3 years living an introverted life when i'm actually an extroverted person wanting to do so much else but because of her i've been living this way.

of course, if i knew about this earlier when we met, i'd be cool about it because then i'd assume that i can have 'fun' on the side too.

i forget what my confession was suppposed to mean. that's right, my gf has had sexual intercourse with her brother for a long time, only recently stopped but they sometimes would take photos of each other. the part about me expressing how i feel is just my insecure nature trying to validate a bad situation.

there won't be anymore photos of her either. i'm not sure if i should allow her to entertain the idea of her brother and myself. just because i'm getting older and it's probably too late to find a woman that's truly loyal or at the very least, not sleeping with her brother. oh well. thoughts?

I live in Chch New Zealand and have been dating the same girl for 4 years,
recently ive been getting sensual massages after work,

usually involves a hot chick jerking you off and rubbing her tits all over you until you cum.

I thought fuck it and ill branch out into getting sucked off,
looked online and found these two 'sisters' online, they were offering $60 bj's (20 mins),

I hit them up and offered $200 for the both of them to suck my cock in my backseat,
met them paid upfront and got straight to it, they were both a little chubber than id expected but were pretty cute.

They got there tits out while I put a rubber on and both gave pretty good head, they took turns sucking while I licked there nipples and had a good 10 mins where they both shared my dick (although they refused to make out on the head of my cock).

after the 30mins we agreed was up their 'protection guy' opened the car door min head and told me 'times up'. both girls leap up and start putting the bra's back on, I have to offer the girl in the top pic another $60 to fuck her till I came. the chick in the bottom pic got all pissed off because I wouldn't fork out to fuck her too. she storms off slamming my door.

The 'protection guy' closes the door but stands at the window the entire time I fucked her, about 5 mins later I cum in her (rubber on) and shes out the door within 20 secs.

Although some of this was fucking awesome, the ending was complete shithouse...
although pretty much all I wanna do atm is get sucked off

Does anyone in chch have any recommendations for call girls who give great head (preferably without a fucking pimp looking at me through a car window)

Feel free to comment also
thanks guys

Out in the Raleigh area close to Six Forks Rd, any women down for some good old hump day action?

Anybody want to play on cam with a CD gurl? Will play with men, women, other CD or spam people- just be nice, vocal, and have cam & mic. Message me and we will set it up! If you’re horny, and tired of just jacking to video, but don’t want to have to fork over lots of money to some cam girl- hit me up! I’ll be dressed and ready to play around 2-3 am pacific time. 

Beef Roast in the Crockpot

28 years ago a butcher told me to use beef chuck for my roasts and stews. The chuck comes out fork tender and wonderful. Been using chuck ever since. Always very easy, cheap and delicious. Never had a reason to try other cuts.

But now i'm going to try flat cut brisket because it has roughly one third the fat. I need to start eating healthier. Watch cholesterol.

Gonna sear it first. Then 5 to 9 hours in the crockpot on low setting. So hopefully it won't turn out like shoe leather.

wish me luck

I confess that today I fucked my lunch, came in it, ate it all, and loved every second.

So last night, or more accurately very early this morning, I dreamt that I was sucking my own cock to completion, and I swear that I could feel the orgasm even.  The last bit is new, but I've had plenty of dreams where I am magically flexible enough to deepthroat my middling dick.  I was actually disappointed to wake up and find that it wasn't a wet dream, as it has been decades since that happened.

I went about my day as normal, and returned home for lunch.  I chose the leftover pancit, and began to reheat it in the microwave.  To pass the time I decided to Google whether other people had had similar dreams, and was rewarded with some interesting Reddit threads.  While reading I became pretty aroused, and had a weird thought while mixing the food:  the container is about dick deep and full of warm, soft, oily noodles that already sounds like a wet pussy when I mix them.  So I stripped, positioned the cuntainer between two couch cushions, and laid down on top of it.

The noodles were warm (hot, really), firm, and moist.  A little more loose than I prefer, rather like the floppy asshole of that old guy at the adult bookstore off the freeway.  The chunks of chicken kinda felt like the times I've fucked my wife's ass and there were hard turds brushing against the head of my cock.  It was one of the more interesting pussy simulators I've built and/or used.  I just took my time and and enjoyed the warmth and gentle stimulation. In and out, sometimes stirring the noodles around the tub.  After a few minutes the urge to cum grew pretty strong, and I picked up the pace of thrusting, building and building... Until I erupted, spewing hot cum deep into the hotter food!

I rested for a few moments, savoring the afterglow.  I dismounted, finding a large scoop of noodles resting atop my rigid member, and carefully brushed it back into my latest sexual conquest.  I stepped back to the kitchen and cleaned off my dick, returning to the couch with the fork, trying to decide whether this would be a (normal) time that post-nut clarity would keep me from eating my own jizz.  I looked around the translucent container, but couldn't really see any of the intruder I knew, logically, lurked within.  I mixed thoroughly, expecting to see some sign, but found none.  But I was running out of lunch hour, too.  I began to gobble down the pancit, detecting only small changes to the flavor.  Definitely could taste the the cum, but only really because I knew it was there and was looking for it.  And I loved it!  My dick remained hard the entire meal, and into the car ride back to work, as I reflected on my experiment.

Now, late at night, I am eyeing that last leftover container, and can feel that twitch in my cock.  Too bad my wife is in the next room.  Guess I wait for lunch tomorrow?

Hey all you perverts out there, I am Mark and I am divorced and 45 years old. I want to tell you all what happened because I still find it hard to believe myself. I got divorced 5 years ago after being married since I was 20. I have one daughter Kim aged 22 now and since my divorce she has made it her goal in life to find me a new woman. I left her mother because she was very controling but cant escape her.

Last year she set me up on a blind date with one of her friends mother, she kept on going on about it, so I gave in and met her. I am so glad I did. Susan Is so nice, she is also divorced almost around the same time as I did, and she is a little younger 38 but looks a lot younger, when I first met her I thought she was around 25 amd looked fantastic. She is a natural red head, not the orange top more like a copper. She is very slim not the biggest breasts but her bottom is the best looking I have ever seen. We got on very well and started seeing each other, I met her daughter around 4 weeks later, Tammy 20 had become good friends with my daughter and both were happy that Susan and I were getting on so well. Tammy was very like her mother and if you see them together they look more like sisters than mother and daughter.
I was spending quite a lot of my time at Susan's house and one time I was off work the next day but Susan had to go to work. When she had left she had not shut the bedroom door. I woke up and heard the shower going and thought she must have been running late, I was looking at the door when Tammy walked by totally naked, my eyes almost jumped out my head. Like her mother she doesn't have massive breasts in fact hers are a little smaller. I lay there wondering if I should tell Susan and then she walked past again, still naked. I wondered if she knew I was in the house. She called out and asked if I wanted some breakfast? I said that would be nice and after a little while I put on a dressing gown and went down to the kitchen. She had on a very short pink gown on that hid very little. I was sitting at the table and she bent down to put my breakfast down and I couldn't help but see her breasts again, she looked right at me and I knew then she had let me see them. She dropped a fork and as she bent down her robe rode up over her ass and I got to see her perfect ass, just like her mothers too. My cock was getting hard all on its own. Nothing happened but over the next few weeks she made sure I got an eyefull most days I was there.

I was over one Saturday night and Susan and I had the place to our selves, a few drinks and things turned naughty and we were both naked in the living room and I was taking her from behind, she was facing the fireplace and we never heard the door open, I looked over just as I ws about to cum inside her and I just saw Tammy peeking in the door, at that point I exploded inside her, she fell forward and as she did my cock came out her. There was no way Tammy didn't see it. We went to bed soon after and I got up to pee a few hours later, I was still half asleep and walked naked to the toilet, as I walked back I noticed Tammy's door was open and her light was on. Now why I did what I did next I still don't know. but I had a quick peek in her room. She was on the bed naked fucking herself with a vibrator. My cock got so hard again and I left before she caught me looking, I got back into bed with Susan and she had woken up, felt my hard cock and got on top of me and rode me like a horse, as we fucked my thoughts were of Tammy. I could hardly look at her the next morning, I felt so guilty.

I moved in with Susan just before Christmas, and the day after I moved in Susan and I were sitting having breakfast when Tammy walked in totally naked, Susan told me just to ignore her telling me they had both got used to being naked when they felt like it. And had only stopped doing it when I stayed over. I told her I was fine with it if both of them were but I told her there was no way my cock would understand. She laughed and told me not to worry about it. Later that day Susan and I were sitting watching TV naked when in came Tammy also naked, almost the second she walked in i got hard and Tammy laughed saying she thought I was getting excited. After about a month my cock sort of calmed down but I still got excited seeing Tammy naked, and I had spied on her masturbating quite a few times too. But It was Christmas day when things got a bit out of hand. We had spent the whole day naked and I have to say I was loving being naked with them. Susan got very drunk and passed out on the couch, I started to tidy up when I felt a hand come round and grab my cock. I thought Susan must have woken up but no, it was Tammy. She said her mum was very lucky to have me and she left it at that. I didn't know what to think. It was a few days later I came home and walked in on Tammy and Kim, both were naked and it was the first time I had seen my daughter naked in a long time, She laughed and told me not to worry and thought it was about time I knew she and Tammy were together and asked if I was OK with it, Susan told me she had known for months but didn't know how to tell me. I was a little shocked but OK. Kim has now moved in with us, and as their room is right next to ours we get to hear them have sex and well I know they can hear us too.
I just wanted to share this with you all, I know it is not what you wanted, as there is no sex between Tammy and me but I have to say sex with Susan has got very hot, because I do imagin it is Tammy sometimes

Romantic date or cheap whore fuck?

It hadn’t taken long to organise... A little chatting, fingers busy on the keyboard, flirtations exchanged, confidences built on the chat screen before moving to the telephone. Then it happened, she hesitantly said “I’ve always wanted to be a whore.” Quite out of the blue when we were considering a meeting.

“Really,” I said. “You just want to be used, paid for raw and base sexual services.”

A moment’s silence then hesitantly “Yes I’ve always wanted that. I want it to be real. I want to be used like a cheap tart. Simply someone who is fucked, fucked hard, used without caring just to satisfy animalistic urges” all came tumbling into my ear.

“Then simples...” I said mimicking the TV meerkat “We have been working up to meeting. You want that and so do I. You want to be a whore and I fantasise about picking up a cheap, no limits prostitute, to use for extremes without caring how she feels. To take what I want. To get myself off and more than once. We have this chance now, this very weekend, before we get to know each other better, to live that fantasy, make it a reality, in comparatively safely and..” I hesitated before saying slowly and deliberately “... and so wantonly depraved and raw.”

“Don’t say anything.” I rattled out before she could reply. “I’m going to ask you some questions about your favourite drinks, work, mundane things to distract you whilst your mind races through the possibilities. When I’m done you can agree or disagree. We can still proceed with a normal date... Do you understand?”

The silence was perhaps four or five seconds but it seemed like an eternity. “Okay then... Yes.” Was her surprisingly soft and hesitant reply

I rambled on for a few minutes. Found that she liked very dry martinis, chilled Chardonnay, was fed up with work, needed more challenges, was tired of petty disputes over car parking spaces under her building and a few other trivial inconsequential minutiae of her daily life.

We knew that our thoughts were elsewhere. Our voices were somewhat monotone, low-key, clearly enunciated. We knew that we were both weighing up the risks, rewards and sheer perversity of what I suggested. Would Friday bring a simple light-hearted, flirtatious date? Slowly building up to tenderness, slow kisses, tentative touching and then, if the gods of happenstance and chemistry shone down upon us, fumbling, exploring and sex. Like millions of other first daters all over the world.

We hadn’t even exchanged photographs. We knew each other’s ages, approximate heights, general look, obviously shared a sense of humour, were skittish, openly flirtatious and both felt very comfortable with all the exchanges we had revelled in up to that moment. We knew we both craved extremes and had vibrant, active and indulgent pasts.

I drew breath and finished my anecdote about a friend and his neighbour who acted like a parking warden, living his life chastising people who parked incorrectly, not in the assigned spaces or didn’t display the residents parking permit correctly on the windscreen. Mindless words that served only to give us both time to consider what we are about to do.

I hesitated for a moment, drew an audible breath and said slowly and deliberately. “It’s decision time... Friday night will be ours regardless. It will be Henry’s bar. You know it and so do I. You have the choice. Either come as you are, the Dottie I have felt so comfortable with over these past two weeks, or embrace our fantasy and become Chloe who will sell herself, without restrictions or limitations, for half a bottle of shared champagne and a £50 note.” I paused wondering how this had all snapped into place in my mind so quickly, so precisely, so fully formed. “Just listen to what I say... Think hard; this is a step into reality not fantasy and when I finish tell me who you will be at 8:30 on Friday in Henry’s."

"It won’t be set in stone, although we both know it is unlikely either will change our minds, back down or shy away." I drew another breath, amazed at the fluency with which the idea was forming unrehearsed. “I want you to know that at any time over the next 70 odd hours you can change your mind. I’ll never refer to this conversation again and we will have a laughter filled, outrageous, warm and intimate evening. All you have to say it’s who you will be, Dottie or Chloe.”

“Text me on Friday morning with the details of something that will make you distinctive so I can pick you out from the throng. I will have a small silver aeroplane in my lapel. The back bar in Henry’s is a great place for an excellent dry martini. When I see you, I will ask if you would enjoy one with me. Look me straight in the eye, tell me you want it stirred, not shaken and diluted like that idiot bond, and I will agree. Tell you what good taste you have, then ask you the question that will steal your fate for the evening.”

“Up to that very instant, that fork in the roads, you’re free to choose the path you will follow. Both routes will be delightful, both will be exciting. One darker, twisting, demanding and deliciously perverted the other broader, easily followed, though still flirtatious and full of adventure. You choose by telling me your name for the night.”

“I will happily share an evening, night, or even the weekend with whoever you choose to be. Dottie will get my full, head on, attention, flirtation and charm. Chloe will be treated like the £50 whore she has always dreamt of being.”

“So... My frolicsome, flirtatious new friend, who do you hope to be on Friday?” The phone fell silent. Only our synchronous laboured breathing troubled the airwaves between us. Seconds ticked past, the silence, in itself, was charged with eroticism and tension.

I heard a slight clearing of the throat, a deeper sharp intake of breath and then the single word “Chloe.”

The exhalation, the relaxation, the sudden rush I felt appeared to come bouncing back at me through the ether, almost a climactic moment. I steadied myself, cleared my throat, and said. “There is nothing more to say... I look forward to Friday, 8:30, Henry’s back bar... I relish buying Chloe but would be delighted if Dottie turned up. I know I can’t lose. So I leave it to you?”

“Yes... Chloe will text you on Friday morning.” She replied, her voice slightly shriller and quicker than before. “She will have thought of something appropriate to wear by then. If nothing else the next 70 hours will be filled with speculation and anticipation... Wait for my text.”

“I will. I most certainly will” I replied, my mind racing through the possibilities. “My phone will never leave me on Friday.” My brain had frozen in the sudden realisation of the pact we had made, but not quite sealed. My thoughts were racing but my tongue was tied. I lamely added “Good night, sleep well.”

“Good night.” Was all I heard as the phone clicked over to that empty, vacant sound of a disconnected call.

What a way to start!

Regardless of who turned up, Dottie or Chloe, I knew that this was going to be the firing up of something incredibly different and truly exciting.

Maybe I’ll write down how it went another day. Truth is often stranger than fiction.

rank my last purchases on a scale of 1 - 10:

- seasons 1-3 of That's So Raven
- DVD of Cadet Kelly starring Hilary Duff
- Spyro the Dragon for PS1
- Bad Boys 2 blu ray
- Motorola Razr cell phone
- 588 RTX satin chrome wedge golf club
- Bath & Body Works japanese cherry blossom body wash
- Breville BES860XL espresso machine
- Nike SB dunks size 7 men's
- confederate flag graphic Zippo Lighter
- Cap n' Crunch cereal
- ceramic cereal bowl
- plastic spoon and fork hardware set
- DVD of Rocco's Furious Fuckers 2
- VHS of Dawn of the Dead
- VHS of Godzilla versus Mothra
- Lion King blu ray
- Lexi Belle molded Flesh light

is this a good haul or what?

I was at a meal with some friends once, and thought that one of the women there I knew was attractive. I've known her for years, and had an idea. When we were cleaning up the table for dessert I snuck her fork into the bathroom, rubbed one out, and put a little drop of cum on it. Then I put it back by her plate and watched her eat her dessert with just a little drop of my semen on it.