i sticked jar in my anus and now it bleeds. What should i do /b/

I confess that I'm s sick fuck and like to stick pickles up my butt and walk around with them all day in my anus.Then come home and finger them out while jacking off on the toilet.My girlfriend has caught me and is disgusted by it but I can't help myself from doing it .I go through 5 jars of pickles a week .Any help would be appreciated.

My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.

She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.

She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

"Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, the pub, porn. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important."

I was dumbfounded.
Where was she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich?

I confess there is a bottle of dijon mustard in my refrigerator that I've been stroking loads into for a few months now. There are probably ten or fifteen loads of cum mixed thoroughly into the mustard. Last night my wife emptied the jar, using it in a recipe for a dish she's taking to a holiday party at her job today. Wish I could be there to see the ladies she works with unknowingly slurping down my cum. Does anyone else have similar stories?

pussy ass trick goat where im going slabs this. coagulate. credence law. just some bread and a jar

jtizzlef

I confess that tonight I stayed late at the office until everyone was gone. Before I left, I decided to open my co-worker's desk (she sits in a cubicle behind me) and proceeded to beat off till I came in a jar of peanut butter she keeps in there for a snack.

I can't wait till the next time she has some!

I like piss. I like the smell of piss. I like the taste of piss. I like the glorious way in which piss looks in a bottle. I like drinking piss. I like drinking my own piss. I like drinking piss from a cunt. I like the word “piss”. I like the sound of piss. I like the idea of piss on the floor. I like women’s piss. I like pissing while women piss. I like pissing together. I like masturbating your twat while you piss. I like rubbing piss in your face and licking it off. I like pudding in you. I like you swelling my piss. I like pad for breakfast with my cereal. I like have piss in the fridge, and piss ice cubes in the freezer, along with a jar of cum and ice cubes made from saliva. I like adding those cubes to your fresh glass of piss and watching you drink it. I like washing your hair with piss. I like seeing you roll around on the floor in our piss while I co to ie pissing on you. I like you wanting my piss. I like you asking for my piss. I like that I don’t have to ask to piss on you. I that that you are where I piss. I like you wearing my piss when you leave the house and being unapologetic about your endeavors. I like you craving my piss and looking forward to relaxing with it after a hard day at work. I like you drinking piss from the toilet. I like you washing your bras and panties with only piss. I’d love to see you wash the dishes with piss. Piss is great. I find it romantic and sensual. I like pissing in the cunt as we’re making love. And pissing down your throat. I like sharing our piss. I like you pissing on my cock and watching you lick it up. I want your piss, just casually poured into a glass for me to drink. And I want to watch you rub yourself and pet your cunt as I do. I want to drink your piss in front of other people without them knowing I’m drinking piss. I want to piss on your food. Just stand up as we’re eating and piss all over the table like it’s the most casual thing in the world. I want to piss in your asshole while you drink piss from a toilet bowl with a gallon jug if piss waiting on the floor and a glass of piss on the toilet tank. I want to make mixed drink recipes with piss, and cook with piss. I want to find out which foods make piss taste even better! I want to put piss in a blender and make piss smoothies. I want to piss in your cunt hole every day. I want to drink your piss ten times per day. I want to film you drinking piss bubbles. I want to call you Cunt Princess Piss Bubbles. I want every drop of piss that come from me to go in you or on you for an entire day. I want to save gallons of piss and have you bathe in it. Piss. I want to cum in your throat and cum on your face. I want you to use my face to get yourself off. I want to lick your asshole as deep as it takes to make you cum. I want to ride you like a fucking horse and jerk you off until you splash the walls. I want you to talk on the phone with my dick in your mouth, and use my asshole as a platter for desert. I want you to open my hole and piss in it. I want to see you smuggle fruit from the store from your pussy. I wanna eat your fruit, girl.

I confess I was air-dropped into the mountains of central Laos to find a suitable site for an airfield base. I scoured the mountainous, forested terrain on foot and finally found an ideal valley near the Plain of Jars.

I did not expect that my confession of masturbating men in a sperm clinic would be so well received, thanks guys, I would like masturbation places to exist, some private with very sexy girls, other public volunteers with average girls, doing social service, and serving criminals condemnation of masturbating strangers, haha, it would be very funny to see them, I am always a volunteer on farms, I love making studs unload, when I have dates I tell them, hey I masturbate you, some don't believe me and others had a nice day, yes If a guy asked me, I would just do it, once a guy asked me as a joke, and I masturbated him, I also keep the semen samples, I have jars full of sperm in my room, it's also good to eat, and an excellent facial mask, the boys after downloading become tender, girls to masturbate, the violence would end

I've been doggy sitting for my mother in law. I go over and let her dogs out 3 times a day while she is out of town been doing it for 5 days now. She loves Greek yogurt and has a freshly opened jar in her fridge. Each time I go over it let her dogs out or feed them. I grab the jar and jack off and cum in it I mix it up each time. /9 far I have cum in it 8 times tomorrow will be #9 or 10# hopfully 10. Even tho I will most likely not see her eat it just the thought alone that she will turns me on.

Pic of my wife for attention.

I confess i cum in my sister in-laws chip dip and watch her eat it. ive cum in her salad dressing jars too